This veil of sadness just hangs over my life. I try to fight it with pot, heroin, benzos but inevitably they run short and there is just so much fucking sadness. I am 25 years old but I cant help but think my best days are behind me. I cant help but think of suicide. Any kind of escape from myself. The most frustrating part is the self loathing. Do I hate life because I do heroin? Or do heroin because I hate life?. Both seem plausible. The only certain thing is the call I will make to my dealer. Of course no one in my real life knows about any of this. My friends don't do heroin and don't understand why I would. Just some lonely shit.
