Relapse...Jumping the Fence

[joonya77]

Only had 13 days clean (off three year heroin habit, multiXdaily, 1g+, snorted) and can't wait to get back off. I can't take being on this train anymore. My suboxone guy re-ups on Thursday and I just have to stay well enough to work until then. Everything was great until a 'reason'
to use came up (family strife.) And as soon as that seed was planted in my mind, I couldn't keep it out of my thoughts. Even though I knew it was a bad bad bad idea. If this stuff isn't the devil, then it's damn close...fml

 

[Lilunwell]

Well great job on the 13 days anyways! Don't give up relapse is part of recovery! Brush yourself off and go right back at it! I'm starting day 11 off a 10 yr opiate habit.

 

[BlueHues]

Yeah realpsing on opiates at day 13 is confusing...how much did it set u back....ur probably not at square one, but making it until thursday sick having to work....damn! Are you sick now, have you been using for a few days?

 

[joonya77]

Hey Lil, congrats on your clean time! It DOES feel great. It has set me back quite a bit. I've used everyday (I work construction and can't be sick at work. Plus, there is no sick time where I work. No work=no pay, so I have to go in.) My suboxone guy is supposed to re-up on thursday, so I'm looking at Wednesday night being my last night using. I'm gonna stock up on those nasty orange fuckers, and taper off this shit once and for all. I really can't wait to stop. I use at night, and by morning I start feeling queasy (worst things for me are diarrhea, I have a naturally sensitive stomach, and restless legs from hell. I look like I'm being played by a marionette.) I'm just using to stay well at this point. All the fun went out of it a long long time ago. But i did learn a few things on this trip, main thing being I cannot dabble with heroin. I played around with it for the first 2 or three weeks and have spent the last 2 to 3 years trying to get off.