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Relapse!! Help!!

D

dnb2012

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Joined
Jul 12, 2012
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55
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some where
Shit!! Iv gone and fucked up again. For about 4/6 weeks I have not touched any drugs. (For the record for about 3-4 months I was mentally addicted to m-cat and phet.) I am currently going through level 3 intense cbt therapy one for the drug habit and two for my sever depression and suicidle thoughts. I'm also seeing a drugs counsellor which them me my physcologist work together for me. My physcologist is helping me with depression and anxiety. My drugs one is helping me with my anxiety towards drugs and help me to be able to say no (just to put it briefly) any way the last few weeks have been hard fighting my anxiety towards drugs because when the weekend comes I think about drugs and get really anxious because I want to
But at the same time don't buy can't say no. Any way tonight iv had some wicked company lot of beer and I got to the stage of I wanted m-cat or I'm going to bed (about 2 am) and every one else is still partying so I thought fuck it I got a gram just the one now iv had it and though I'm enjoying the feeling it giving me I just feel a bit of a fuck up because Me and my counclor and psychologist have worked hard iv talked bout a lot of deep shit n now iv caved in and gotta start again. I guess I don't know what in hoping for by writing this but makes me feel a lil better. Guess my only question is to explain to both counclors what iv done tonight? Prob a dumb qeustion but other people's options count for me. Thank you for reading guys and do apologise for going on. Much love :)
 
Hey, I saw that you accidentally posted this in PD first and then deleted it, so I checked to see if you'd gone and reposted this here. I'm glad to see you have, as I'm sure you'll get some great replies :)

You should most definitely tell your counsellors, they're there to help you and by admitting your mistake you can move on, move forward, and find a way to avoid making the same mistake twice.

One thing I'll say is not to look at it as you've failed, but to look at it as a lesson, help figure out what triggered your desire to relapse and ultimately the relapse itself.

Was it the drinking? If so, maybe drinking is something you need to cut down or avoid for a while too, many people have this with multiple drug habits and find that if they used to combine two drugs and quit one of them, whenever they use the other it makes them miss the drug they quit and more likely to relapse. It's an area certainly worth looking at as a possible factor, and definitely cut down at the very least if you feel it played any sort of factor in your decision to take Mephedrone again.

Remember to look at this as a once off event, a slip up from which you regained your footing from and walked on strong - rather than a return to old habits, don't make this the start of many slip ups, make it the last of them!

Best wishes, hope all goes well. If you ever need someone to vent to in private, feel free to drop me a PM. :)
 
Hey. Thank you for ya reply it helps knowing other people's opinion.
Yeah when I drink it does trigger me off but tonight first time I have drank in few weeks. Thought I was strong enough to have drink n no drugs. See my good company tonight don't do drugs but know I did so tried to avoid nights with me coz o drugs understandable. Any tonight I never thought about it all until some one was singing my praises for being clean for so long but because they mentioned drugs I thought about drugs Got anxious and just got to the point of adrenaline took over and had to do it so I did.
Guess I'm not as strong as a thought know I'm not failure and tomorrow I'm going to think it was a test a lesson mistake and must learn from it. I guess a just need advise to avoid this situation again.
 
Mention to the people around you that you'd like it if they don't mention your prior drug use as it's one of your triggers. That'll help situations like what happened from rearing their ugly head again.

What might be advisable is if you're drinking, to aim for just for mild effects and not to get drunk, see if you can have 1-2 beers over the course of the night until you get used to making your alcohol really last, as you might need a break from getting drunk completely for a while, if it's going to be a triggering event. At least until you get a little stronger and more able to handle your triggers and avoiding them causing a relapse :)

Hope everything goes well, keep us updated.
 
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