trip407
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2003
- Messages
- 493
Hello,
i want to to tell the story which happend 6 weeks ago and completly turned my life upside down. I want to tell this so people are aware of the dangers involved in a relapse after some clean time accumulated. I always underrated the dangers of polydrug abuse, because of my massive tolerance in the last years of my addiction.
Ok i was clean for more then nine month started all over in a new city, visited councelor and NA meetings, made new friends and had new hobbys. Still i relapsed. I thought about using again for some time and told this in my meetings, it didnt help. One evening i met an old friend from my school time who flew to Hamburg for business relations. We met in a bar in some hip part of this city. I bought a beer, My friend was slightly irritated, but then we had a fun conversation. Later when it was closing time we bought another one at a small store and walked through the town. Then he went back to the Hotel and i wanted to drive home with my bike. But i didnt, i relapsed allready with th beer, so at least i could get some more fun out of this evening. I drove to the main station. To my surprise there was a huge crowd of addicts in front of the using rooms, at least 50. They all smoked crack, heroin or drank beer, like a small party i thought. I proceeded smoked some heroin with the shadyest people imanagable.
During the first week of my relapse i mostly injected heroin or cocaine, but no big amounts. There was a part in me that wanted to stop again, so i went to the meetings and told the peaple i relapsed, i needed help. in the second week i advanced into the final stage of heavy addiction and injected methadone and used diazepam and flunitrazepam. i can hardly remember anything from this week.
I woke up. I saw my flat mate, he asked me how i feel. I could hardly answer, my vison was blurred. I watched around the room, i could hardly move any limbs. Then it hit me, i was in the hospital. I immediatly know something very bad happend. A doctor came over and tryed to tell me what happend the last two days. I was in the intensive care unit. My roommate found me "sleeping" in front of my computer laying with my head on my right arm. I was in this position for maybe 20 hours. Right next to me ,used syringes and opened blisters or diazepam and clonazepam. They told me my arm had swollen, they called it impeachment syndrom. They need to cut it open on two sides for the full lenght of my forearm. They put sponge in the wound and wraped foil around my arm with a suction pad inside to suck up toxic muscle fibres. These fibres polluted my kidneys, this i called crush syndrom and i ended up with total renal failure. So i needed dialysis to survive now.
I stayed 10 days in the ICU, it was bad. I was in pain from water odems because my kindeys did not work at all. Because of my history of abuse all i got was acetaminophen and metamizol. Some times later i convicted them to get at least tramadol, but the maximum dosage was 50 mg only. When i was in bad pain or after surgeries i got 10 mg OC or a shot of dipidolor(pritramide, dont know english name now). i had two emergency surgeries in the ICU in which i got 2 litres or red blood cells. After some time i got to the normal station it was after 15 days when my kidneys started to work again. One month after the incident my arm got closed in a final surgery.
i was relased last friday into another hospital, here i learn to use my fingers again and try to learn better walking. Because of an injury of my sciatica nerve during the overdose, my left leg is partly paralyzed and hurts very bad ( for this i get gabapentin 1,2g and oxycodone 4x 20mg).
Ok so you know what bad things can happen even if you dont have respiratory depression. When i feel better i definatly want to get clean again from the oxycodone, which i dont think is much at all, at least i dont get high from this amount.
i want to to tell the story which happend 6 weeks ago and completly turned my life upside down. I want to tell this so people are aware of the dangers involved in a relapse after some clean time accumulated. I always underrated the dangers of polydrug abuse, because of my massive tolerance in the last years of my addiction.
Ok i was clean for more then nine month started all over in a new city, visited councelor and NA meetings, made new friends and had new hobbys. Still i relapsed. I thought about using again for some time and told this in my meetings, it didnt help. One evening i met an old friend from my school time who flew to Hamburg for business relations. We met in a bar in some hip part of this city. I bought a beer, My friend was slightly irritated, but then we had a fun conversation. Later when it was closing time we bought another one at a small store and walked through the town. Then he went back to the Hotel and i wanted to drive home with my bike. But i didnt, i relapsed allready with th beer, so at least i could get some more fun out of this evening. I drove to the main station. To my surprise there was a huge crowd of addicts in front of the using rooms, at least 50. They all smoked crack, heroin or drank beer, like a small party i thought. I proceeded smoked some heroin with the shadyest people imanagable.
During the first week of my relapse i mostly injected heroin or cocaine, but no big amounts. There was a part in me that wanted to stop again, so i went to the meetings and told the peaple i relapsed, i needed help. in the second week i advanced into the final stage of heavy addiction and injected methadone and used diazepam and flunitrazepam. i can hardly remember anything from this week.
I woke up. I saw my flat mate, he asked me how i feel. I could hardly answer, my vison was blurred. I watched around the room, i could hardly move any limbs. Then it hit me, i was in the hospital. I immediatly know something very bad happend. A doctor came over and tryed to tell me what happend the last two days. I was in the intensive care unit. My roommate found me "sleeping" in front of my computer laying with my head on my right arm. I was in this position for maybe 20 hours. Right next to me ,used syringes and opened blisters or diazepam and clonazepam. They told me my arm had swollen, they called it impeachment syndrom. They need to cut it open on two sides for the full lenght of my forearm. They put sponge in the wound and wraped foil around my arm with a suction pad inside to suck up toxic muscle fibres. These fibres polluted my kidneys, this i called crush syndrom and i ended up with total renal failure. So i needed dialysis to survive now.
I stayed 10 days in the ICU, it was bad. I was in pain from water odems because my kindeys did not work at all. Because of my history of abuse all i got was acetaminophen and metamizol. Some times later i convicted them to get at least tramadol, but the maximum dosage was 50 mg only. When i was in bad pain or after surgeries i got 10 mg OC or a shot of dipidolor(pritramide, dont know english name now). i had two emergency surgeries in the ICU in which i got 2 litres or red blood cells. After some time i got to the normal station it was after 15 days when my kidneys started to work again. One month after the incident my arm got closed in a final surgery.
i was relased last friday into another hospital, here i learn to use my fingers again and try to learn better walking. Because of an injury of my sciatica nerve during the overdose, my left leg is partly paralyzed and hurts very bad ( for this i get gabapentin 1,2g and oxycodone 4x 20mg).
Ok so you know what bad things can happen even if you dont have respiratory depression. When i feel better i definatly want to get clean again from the oxycodone, which i dont think is much at all, at least i dont get high from this amount.
