Relapse after 6months in No electricity, dehydrated and benzo wd

[Pucman]

It was very bad as I have been sober 6 months. When my mom found me I was under a table talking to Aliens. I was seizing sweating and completely out of my head. I was overdosing and had to be taken to hospital. The shit that I remember makes no sense at all. Made up time traveling nonsense is all I am told. Just so you know I had over 6 months heroin free. Tree falls on power line and I went and scored. I felt like someone dosed me but H showed clean in hospital. I have enjoyed psychedelics all my life and never would mix the two but that is what it felt like. Anyways two trips to ICU my mom thought I was a goner, even after first night in hospital I seized up for 6 hrs in the hospital. I now have to get psychiatric help because it got so ugly. All that sober time and one slip and now my secret is way out in the open. Seizures were not my first but were so bad my mom was already looking for long term care. I?m on my second dose of subs since and really worried that I have done serious damage this time. Nothing I believe happened. I was sure I was at work taking care of serious shit and I was burrowed under a table with a needle close by. Sneaky ass old dealer dropped in on me and has been pushing for relief. I am still fighting the fight and trying to just use sub one more day and be off. I also had kicked benzo so I thought last month but I think that wd spawned the crazy ness that took over. Yes I am a grown ass man who had 6 months and almost died Bc of stubbornness. Don?t recall the It was very bad as I have been sober 6 months. When my mom found me I was under a table talking to Aliens. I was seizing sweating and completely out of my head. I was overdosing and had to be taken to hospital. The shit that I remember makes no sense at all. Made up time traveling nonsense is all I am told. Just so you know I had over 6 months heroin free. Tree falls on power line and I went and scored. I felt like someone dosed me but H showed clean in hospital. I have enjoyed psychedelics all my life and never would mix the two but that is what it felt like. Anyways two trips to ICU my mom thought I was a goner, even after first night in hospital I seized up for 6 hrs in the hospital. I now have to get psychiatric help because it got so ugly. All that sober time and one slip and now my secret is way out in the open. Seizures were not my first but were so bad my mom was already looking for long term care. The hardest fight and I have to start over again well I?m two weeks and just couldn?t pull it together so I used old subs Sat .4 and .2 tonight.

 

[FlawedByDesign]

If you?re seizing that bad it would be ideal to go back and taper off the benzos. I know the brain fog after seizing sucks but you mean to say you didn?t start seizing until a month after coming off? I usually get em by day 3-4 if I?m going to get them. Stay strong man. There?s a chance none of this will be permanent.

 

[Mafioso]

Do you have anyone helping you out right now? Seizures can be fatal. From the sounds of it, you need 24 hour care until you make it past the acute withdrawals.


Definitely sounds like benzo-induced psychosis. I've been in similar shoes. You can make it through this, but you are in the danger zone right now. Stay hydrated, eat as much as possible(probably wont be much), and reach out to your mother and closest friends. You really shouldn't be alone at all until you are through this. Self-care is difficult in a time like this.


Just having another human to interact with can calm the hallucinations, delusions and paranoia. Pets can help as well.

There are medications that can help as well, but you'll need to see a doctor for them.

 

[Pucman]

Yes I have had 24 hour care since my relapse. Girlfriend and my mom as well as other family coming together in the darkest hours. The craziest thing Is that it was benzo wd. They have done Ct scan and MRI and everything is completely normal. I had been on clonzapam since I had previous seizures when stopping Xanax back five years ago. The brain fog had lifted somewhat and I just wanted to be completely sober. Dr said if I was diabetic wouldn’t I take insulin like I need. I hate the slave mentality to the benzo but I’m going to give it some time and see if I am going to be able to properly taper down. Just letting everyone know that even when you think you have it better watch out Bc you could wind up in wd even during sobriety and tapering. Benzo are straight deadly. I had tapered down till I thought I had it. Tapered off sub down to .25 will jump tomorrow staying on clonzapam. Yes my dog and son have been brought back into my life.

 

[Mafioso]

Glad to hear you are doing ok. Hang in there, things can get better.

 

[swilow]

Man, I had a very similar experience with benzo withdrawal, even though I tapered. I was in incredible psychosis, on-and-off, totally dissociated, constant absence seizures, grand mal seizures a few times a week, just utterly headfucked. Terrifying ordeal, and there was the insidious parts of where I guess I appeared lucid but seemed to manifest all manner of mental illness, with hallucinations, fugure states, intense black outs, and visions of incredible complexity. This would cycle on and off for days after every minor drop. The craziest 18months of my life, I ended it addicted as fuck to heroin and sick and alone.

I ended up doing a stint at a detox for my final drop from diazepam, while I also tapered down off suboxone. The final dose cut, to 0mg (from like .500ug a day) kept up the the weirdness, but now that it was recognised as benzo withdrawal, the treatment was more specific and I recovered after a few weeks in rehab, emerging totally clean. And, fortunately, with all my wits and capcities, though short term memory is patchy. Honestly, time usually heals the subjective negative effects of benzo withdrawal- it just requires patience, and a recongition that the symtoms are merely the body recovering; you can attempt to almost view them objectively or at arms-length.

Good luck, keep us posted