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Relapse after 4 months clean

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FilSantos

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Joined
May 24, 2014
Messages
33
Hi!
I was 4 months clean, and some days ago i relapse, i had 1 gram in 4 days, today i didn't consume, do you think it's possible to wd? I'm feeling sour and weak, but i had a busy day at work, or it's from the "hangover" of the day after and not wd.
 
No whatever withdrawals you think you are feeling are mental. If you can stick it out you will feel fine, if you continue to use they will only get worse. Don't push it and get to the point of no return, I'm sure you don't want to start over.
 
^Agreed. I honestly thought I could go back to once in a while but that became full blown addiction really fast. I mean like after a few weekends only of use it started to effect me negatively. I would basically be in the same position as you and create excuses for myself like "oh its not withdrawal its just a bad morning and a little dope will make it better"

I could not believe how quickly it got really really bad, way worse then it was. I somehow managed like a year of daily use with my job and no issues, the second time around i was broke 3 days after payday. I use to pride myself in being the only junkie who could actually save it like buy 7 buns and make it last all week. This time if i bought that much i would do it in 2-3 days. Just be careful your addiction can come back in a really bad way.
 
HI, thanks for the replies. My intention is not to go a use again if i don't have ou or have wd, i don't want more.. i'm feeling down for my relapse, and i missed a narcotic reunion yestarday because i was ashamed and i was afraid somenos notices i was wd, i have teraphy and a data with my friend today and tomorrow, and i'm afraid it will notice. Today i wake up in some sweat, but not a big deal, i still can't figure it out... i'm felling a little wd... and i admit, i'm struggling not to go again "just one more time"...
 
I totally get what you mean. If you can pull this off you are a better person than me; I pride myself on staying away for long periods of time, that being said... I cant stop on a dime after relapsing. Trust me the withdrawals are just your brain telling yourself that you are sick, it takes a little longer than that to even get mild withdrawals. The more you worry about it, the worse you will feel. Just try and stick it out and you will see that its all in your mind. Go to your program meetings and tell them what happened dont let this fester in your mind.
 
I disagree, that could easily be mild withdrawal depending on how much/long you were using during your prior habit. I quit for 6 months and all it took was a couple day binge to put me right back in withdrawal, happens every time I relapse. You can find many reports of this phenomena with addicts.

It may take weeks to get addicted the first time but with a history of opioid dependence, the longer you were addicted/the deeper your habit was before quitting the easier it becomes to put yourself back in withdrawal, even after only a few uses. Same applies for other drugs as well. I can't even take benzos anymore despite overcoming withdrawal as a few uses will put me in serious rebound.
 
《Plasticity》;13076463 said:
I disagree, that could easily be mild withdrawal depending on how much/long you were using during your prior habit. I quit for 6 months and all it took was a couple day binge to put me right back in withdrawal, happens every time I relapse. You can find many reports of this phenomena with addicts.

It may take weeks to get addicted the first time but with a history of opioid dependence, the longer you were addicted/the deeper your habit was before quitting the easier it becomes to put yourself back in withdrawal, even after only a few uses. Same applies for other drugs as well. I can't even take benzos anymore despite overcoming withdrawal as a few uses will put me in serious rebound.
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I am quiet familiar with this phenomenon from first hand experience, yet I still believe that it is all in the addicts head; This is all speculation of course. The anxiety alone is enough to put someone in what appears to be withdrawal. I do however agree that the point of physical dependence is much shorter if you relapse after a short period of clean time, just not that short.
 
insidious said:
I am quiet familiar with this phenomenon from first hand experience, yet I still believe that it is all in the addicts head.
Click to expand...
Whatever you say 8)... sounds kind of a cop out to me. Although the mind is mysterious, it won't create days of withdrawal that suddenly appear after your last dose is consumed, with the entire array of symptoms including restlessness, insomnia, sweats and chills... it's litterally withdrawal to the tee depending on how much you used. Sometimes however it's very mild and easily shaken off as feeling a bit 'off' for a day or two. It all depends on how much you were using before you kicked, how long your clean time was, and how much you relapsed with.

Individual chemistry as well, some are more susceptible to this than others.You can keep this up with worse and worse withdrawal the more you take and the shorter the window between the time you start to feel well and when you dose again, eventually getting to a point where you'll get nasty withdrawal with very few uses, rather than a rebound or very mild withdrawal. I fell into this limbo for months during one of my longest "breaks", I put that in quotes because after a month or two I resumed dosing infrequently which started to cause problems quick and eventually lead to relapse because I didn't have to willpower to stay clean and each dose came with 2-3 days of withdrawal.

It's no secret that downregulation occurs sooner in prior addicts. Addiction happens much faster the second time around (and even more the third, fourth, you get my point). 2 months is not much clean time. 1 gram of heroin used in a period of 4 days in a row is certainly enough to cause a rebound/mild withdrawal if this person has a long history of opioid dependence. I would be willing to bet the feeling of withdrawal would be unmistakable should the OP have kept this up for even a couple more days. Unfortunately this is something I've heard and read by many addicts, some less lucky than others.

This post below from a heavy addict sums it up fairly well:
NSFW:
Stotched said:
Hey all. I used to be a huge oxycodone fiend, banging at least 800mg a day to stay well, and a gram to get high. I ended up cleaning up for about a year, but have been using off and on recently again, in as low of doses to get high as possible, due to lowered tolerance. I actually felt a small rush for about 45 minutes off of 10mg IV when I came back to it for the first time, which I found to be insane.

Anyway, 3 months ago I did about 80mg per day over a week, and ended up in WD, that I feel was pretty bad for the small dose I was doing.

Last month I did about 100mg a day for 5 days, and ended up in moderate WD for about 2 and a half days.

Yesterday I did 45mg, and today I did another 80. My last dose was about 12 hours ago, and I can already feel restless legs coming on. I have more, but don't want to take it unless I go into full blown WD.

This is insane! I used to bang a gram a day back in my prime, and now just 2-5 days of moderate use is giving me WD? It seems to come back faster and worse each time it happens too! I knew of a kindling effect with GABA drugs, but does this happen with opioids too? There is no reason why 2 days of such low oxycodone use should have me already withdrawing. Are some people just more susceptable to WD symptoms? I just want to know what gives!
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yes if you get cold chills and cant fall asleep at night you're in withdrawal
 
I get withdrawal symptoms from one use. I would guess most of us do after kicking dozens of times. Hope you can find something else to escape with like reading or friends :)
 
FilSantos said:
HI, thanks for the replies. My intention is not to go a use again if i don't have ou or have wd, i don't want more.. i'm feeling down for my relapse, and i missed a narcotic reunion yestarday because i was ashamed and i was afraid somenos notices i was wd, i have teraphy and a data with my friend today and tomorrow, and i'm afraid it will notice. Today i wake up in some sweat, but not a big deal, i still can't figure it out... i'm felling a little wd... and i admit, i'm struggling not to go again "just one more time"...
Click to expand...

If you want to get through this, you gotta reach out to your support system. Don't be ashamed, people relapse. It's the nature of this disease. I have so much respect for people who fuck up and then pick themselves right back up and keep at it.

Don't stay away just because you made one mistake. If I let relapse get me down, I'd be dead in some shitty hotel room. I relapsed 12 times when I first tried to get clean. And I just got my 1 year last month. The guilt and shame can only keep you isolated and send you back out if you let it.

insidious said:
I am quiet familiar with this phenomenon from first hand experience, yet I still believe that it is all in the addicts head; This is all speculation of course. The anxiety alone is enough to put someone in what appears to be withdrawal. I do however agree that the point of physical dependence is much shorter if you relapse after a short period of clean time, just not that short.
Click to expand...

Ah yes, the ol "addiction is all in your head" theory. I like to believe we're more enlightened here at BL.
 
I think the question has been answered the best that it will be. Yes, when you've been previously addicted to opioids it's amazing how little it takes to get hooked again. And each person is different. But I think you'll be okay off that amount, just focus on getting back into your program of recovery.

Sending this over to TDS so the OP can get more support.
 
HI, i thank you all for the replies. i felt a little "strange" but nothing serious, today i feel ok. i felt some desires to use, but i kept myself busy, working, friends, girldfriendd.. i didn't told anyone, just that i had a very strong desire to use. I'm not prepared, i don't want people to lose cofidence in me, cause in my center, people who knows about a relapse have to tell famiuly, i lose my rights to return weekly to the center, and i think that will not be positive to me, i more easely i will fall. I'm just picking myself up, return to mettings, therapy, dstay in toutch with other additcs. I think i will be ok.
 
To all the people trying to chastise my reply... We are talking about four days of use, not a week or two, chill the fuck out. Dont just quote snippets of my response.

To the OP I wish you nothing but the best.
Keep us posted.
 
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