Regular BL Drug User is my usage okay/safe?

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BLMemberAnon1244

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I'm 18 years old and a BLr but remaining anonymous for this interested in hearing if anyone older could relax my mind a little at whether I'm looking at many health issues when older. I started to value my life a lot more in recent months and have changed some things which has greatly reduced anxiety and depression. I've also heard a lot about it being unwise to use drugs at early teenage years but have yet to see proof. Basically roughly my

Weekly Drug Usage:

Cannabis regular smoking min 4 days week (avg 6) - Cut down from daily smoking constant
due to money and situation
Clonazepam 0.5-1mg min every 2 days - not sure if dependent can sometimes skip a day
but use for sleep, anxiety and end of weekend.
At least 4l of cider per week (high % cheap beer/cider) - Can sometimes drink lots but it isn't a favourite drug, more used to boost chemicals/socialise.

Weekend:
LSD atleast 150ug upwards (accurate)

or

4-aco-dmt ~35mg+

or

mdma 300-400mg+ up to fair binge of weekend but not every week as comedowns are harsh

or

Combinations of 2 or all of those and some of ket/speed.

Also - as in not guranteed but often:

Ketamine use of binges every few weeks of half ozs etc alongside at least a g or few every two weeks. This is cut down from daily usage to money.

Street amphetamine binges at least once a month.

Also enjoy most other drugs but those are the regulars. I like my drugs but don't abuse too hard when I see myself getting in a bad way I stop etc. But like altered states.

I exercise intensely for at least 1 hour a week. I try to walk where I can. I don't smoke. I eat healthy but also enjoy myself can't be that dull.

Feel anxious, have felt suicidal but trip a good while back led to a change and change and enjoyment of life. Anxiety has cut down massively but still persists but not panic attacks never really had them apart from once I believe was a panic attack but was on LSD at the time.

Sometimes get weird chest pains in my left and right, mainly left has led to worry but unsure what to make of it as I've always had random pains, no other symptoms of anything worrying.

Stomach is quite bad from what I gather compared to others my age who use drugs. Although I enjoy spicy food, regularly have to take omeprazole and ket destroys it which has also cut down its use.
Amphetamine would irritate also and lots and lots of MDMA I believe. Weed cures!

Started with weed at 14. Was quite into mephedrone at age of 14-16 also hard opiates. Cut the opiates out.
Psychedelic (regular) + ketamine use at 15 onwards.

I'm in University and while not an a* person attending every day I'm still doing alright. I like to read etc to try and keep my mind working.

What are people's opinions? Is this sort've usage fine provided you are happy mentally? Or is it likely to suffer greatly in the future or should I be aware of any health issues due to my drug usage?
 
I'm going to move this to TDS, but it might be moved to one of the other forums in the recovery support section.

Anon --> TDS
 
I'd say that's definitely a negative pattern of polydrug use. Physically I don't think most of what you're doing (besides the amphetamine binges) will have serious effects but psychologically it has the potential to be very damaging. Few people are able to use psychedelics that frequently without hitting some bumps in the road. The MDMA in those amounts is quite likely messing with your brain chemistry and fuelling anxiety. If I were you I'd cut back drastically, my drug use used to be very similar and I ended up with pretty severe psychological problems until I quit everything. These days I drink a little bit (1 to 3 beers a night most nights, and getting drunk maybe once a month or less), and smoke weed very rarely (once every few months if that), but am essentially clean and I feel much better and have really gotten my life together.

If you're doing okay at school now imagine how well you could be doing without tons of drugs to distract you!

The chest pains are likely anxiety unless they are really severe pains. I remember I used to get the same sorts of pains and my therapist told me if you're having a heart attack or angina it's pretty bad pain and there's no question that there's something wrong. But I'm no doctor, goes without saying.
 
I don't want to come off as flippant, but I have some fairly libertarian views (US-wise) on drug use: I think all drugs should be legal (as well as prostitution and gambling). If someone can take drugs they like, but keep their life together and not affect the lives of others in a negative way, I say your drug use is fine. This is particularly true of a university-aged young person. Do you have kids you're neglecting? If not, I say fuck it. If you keep this lifestyle up into your later years where you have a family/ career, well then maybe you need to cut back and think of the others in your life. This isn't the case it would seem for you, however.

If YOU are starting to feel your use is too much- that's a big, red-flag right there. Then you might want to cut back. It just seems that you use a lot of psychadelics- that ain't exactly an IV heroin or oxy addiction. You can stop that shit whenever you really need to.
 
It's not looking good. Your relationships will suffer...are in fact suffering. This is where the impact can be observed. Girl-friends, parents, mates, bosses, co-workers and anyone else with whom you interact in meaningful ways. We all need relationships. We all need community. Our relationships are effected by our behaviours. We can gauge the damage that we're doing by looking at our relationships. This is where it all comes together...over time, day by day, year by year...the health of our relationships is the mercury in the thermometer. Look at this. Rising? Falling? Drug-abuse (predictably) drives the temperature down. Eventually way below zero...not where the good life is at. Right? Feeling good is not the same as having peace. It's not the same as having healthy wholesome relationships.
Better a dry crust with peace, than feasting with strife.
Best wishes.
 
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