Regret

[mr_fluffy]

Wrong
Wrong
Wrong
Wrong
Wrong!
I was wrong. I am wrong. Will I wrong again?
Oh shit, did I hurt you?
I didn't know you were fragile
Thought you were strong like me.
Am I? Then why the bitter after-taste?
I am human. Frail. Fallible. Impetuous.
One word. One careless phrase. A slip of the tongue.
Hard work. Months of building up. Trust, respect.
All gone in an instant.
Like a tempestuous child in a sandpit.
One thing wrong. One dissapointment provides
Justification for wholesale destruction.
Careless. Immature! Wilful. Spiteful?
Blindly grasping for absolution, destroying all evidence.

Sorry!
Sorry!
Oh so sorry
What a sorry lot we are.
Natural instinct. Trained reaction. Pavlovian response.
I don't always mean it, but I always say it.
Disarming. Calming. Rage eroding.
What is there to argue about when I assume liability?
My construction, my destruction. My perogative.
My bad!
Our pain.
Weak, spineless coward.
Why spoil for a fight when settlement is so cheap?
Easy way out thattaway. Emergency exit only!
Expediency demands I'm sorry!
But am I? Are you? Do we care?
Never mind the sorrow, feel the love!

Would've, should've, could've
If only I had've!
Again! Again! Do it again!
Like a gleeful toddler in his father's arms
Tossed, caught, swung. Repeated!
Fright. Terror. Exhiliration!
Again!!
Why?
Changed fundamentals. Are they?
Lessons learned. Have I?
Abandoned project. Task too hard?
Or will too weak? Target moved. Focus reset.
Deny! Deny! Deny!
Or find someone else to blame.

Or maybe...
Assess, dissect. Move on!
Admit, accept. Learn.
Knee scraped? Knuckles red-raw?
Clean, disinfect, bandage. Then...
Leave alone!!
Nature makes the scab, picking don't help.
Time heals all weals,
Only scars leaving behind
Branded insignia there to remind.
Tempestuous, impetuous, impatient...
Wrong!
Mr Fix-it fucken fucked it.
Mr Fix-it better deal with it!
Or maybe better deal with himself.
Failure? Fuck-up? Or for the best?
I regret nothing but I'm sorry about everything.
'tis better to have tried and failed, than never to have tried at all.
And yet! And yet...

 

[plazma]

Stream of consciousness poetry at its best.

Cheers for an excellent poem. Stay strong though man, honestly, one straw doesn't make a bonfire, just stay sharp, stay aware of your actions, don't go back.

-plaz out

 

[bisKi]

We're only human, and now and then we'll falter - a good friend told me that and I love him for that . To quote a lyric from Jonathan Larson's RENT ::

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss" - we'll mourn the mistakes we made and try to learn from them and move on, otherwise we'll miss whatever is going on in our lives. I'm learning too.

xoxoxo //J

 

[PsychoKitten]

 

[harraser]

this is an EXCELENT piece of writing fluffy.. the raging thoughts after a fuckup, when you know what went wrong, and what you couldve done different, and you cant help beating yourself up over it incesantly.. but thats how life is, this is intense but everything needs a balance fluffy, sometimes you just need to calmly accept your fuckup, let it go, and move on. not everything turns out right, or even how we'd hoped. and continuing to push when the chance is already gone is just as stupid and weak as giving up and throwing it in before the game is over. sometimes strength is knowing when to stop fighting...

-ant

 

[mr_fluffy]

ease it up. the best of art is forged in the crucible of passion, but poetic licence is often taken i'm not suicidal, and my writings aren't always a true reflection of my current state of mind. while i've been to the place described in the poem, it's not necessarily my current abode. but thanks for the concern.