Ive had pills years back, some shite some excellent. They were just different, some had me feeling bad for weeks afterwards and may have contributed to my depression, but the comeups were immense. I gotta stress that since i've started popping again its been home alone and I've been pretty deppressed.
I didn't go out friday to test the smileys in a social enviroment because said mate who supplys didn't respond to my text
The first e I done was a smiley face (a couple) reported to be low dose md lovely and clean. It was the best experiance of my life!! All my problems dissolved, anxiety, speach impairment, (found my true natural voice), words where flowing and growing speaking words so fluently. For once in my life i was expressing my true self with such ease, My normally hunched back and rounded shoulders sculpted magically disapeared and I glowed with confidence.
Me and my friend talked allnight about society and problems, we found two totally new people. I felt apart of the world understanding the way it operates both good/bad but finding reasoning on common ground. I could go on but im sure you know the feeling.
Skip years later and having consumed more drugs, grown up, experianced more of lifes tribulations and overcome some of before mentioned problems and im just experiancing a slice of that first time.
Im totally with ya'l about set and setting and what i really crave is social interaction like before, thats what really made me blow up, bouncing ideas back and forth, more stimulation.
The only problem with this is that iv turned into abit of a hermit on opiates/weed, been let down and isolated myself for a fair while. I fear pubs/clubs purley because of the reality and brutality of the chance of being kicked the shit out of for no reason.
The few times iv been to clubs have been on downers and always on guard, I danced so hard that I dont think nobody would have wanted to fuck with me lol. I can hold my own, trained in a few martial arts and done kickboxing etc, had a few fights here an there purley in self defence, in reality hate violence.(im no Rambo) So im kinda scared of doing E where im not in control, Im fairly up for the alternative club as its known for its friendlier atmosphere but will skip the bars after 2am kick out.
This bar is notorious for violence n drugs, I saw a man with a huge knive up his sleeve, bouncers have been beaten up, I got stuck in toilet whilst some dude back against door, pulled out a carrier bag worths of powder.
I thought he was gonna jack me, but turns out he was just doin his shit, still not a good situation i was alone trapped with someone bigger than me blocking the door, high as fuck and potentialy carrying a weapon. I sternly said "can i get out mate" and he said "yeh just wait".
Had it not been that i smoked some dope prior to leaving i would have been scared shitless, its not a good idea to smoke H and go to clubs, It wasn't my intention.
To note i've only chased the dragon a handful of times and not in a very long time.
This is a shit post, excuse me I swear im ADHD i could keep going in a non methodical approach and totally derail this entire thread lol.
P.s Cannot find spell checker so all apologies.