Heeeeellllllllpppppppp!!!!!!!!!! i feel so stupid, iam constantly looking for this fire gear, yet back in november december time, i got it out of my head, and started to feel really happy about everything, i was rpoper bzzing off life and that......
now? oh, now, i so crave those big brown arms of love, and where the fuck re they? ive stopped working, i m hearing voices (real life voices ) in my ears telling me im this telling me im that, telling me im a piece of shit and i dont know my own head, adn i just want to feel those big brown arms of love aroundmy body, and make me fee ok , im just not happey at teh moment, idont know what i wasrunningon before, how i kept working 2jobs, oh fucking hell, i need some kind of answer towhat the hell everything is a all about. iahev plenty to do, but im so bored and so fuckig lonelywith all this, i hate telling my good mtesabout all this shit, because thats what is is, i feel so fucking separate from every thing, why jas the fucking gear disappeared? honestly, it hs just disrupted my life so much, my lil habit, i worked i smoked, i worked i smoked , now i dont work, i smoke something, i need fucking something to get me going, its just all so fucking pointless, what the hell, sorry to do everyones head in here, but i just feel like a fucking island, like i dont understand, so how the fuck would anyone else fucking understand ,my house is a shit tip and i just want somethin , something something to just lift teh drudgery oh for fuvksake, drudgery galore. i dont know im beginning tobelieve all teh people here who have ben teling me that i m fucking mad a nd fucking sick in the head.
confused aint the word. iwant to be alone, away from people, but i want people around me, im scared to go to my family here or in ireland, coz i feel like a let down, and i dont fell like i have anything worht whie to contribute, see when i was sound and happy, i was told there was something wrong with me, and now im down i cant tell anyone, coz ill just be told its my own fault and only i can make my self happy agian. fairy god mother, ngels, god, whoever are ya out there for me [point me in the rght friggin direction please, someone, poin me in the right direvction