• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting RulesBluelight Rules
    PD's Best Threads Index
    Social ThreadSupport Bluelight
    Psychedelic Beginner's FAQ
  • PD Moderators: Esperighanto | JackARoe | Cheshire_Kat

Reflections on psychedelics and needed advice

piku_playground

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
79
I'm not sure if this is an appropriate post for these forums, and if it isn't, feel free to lock it. I am needing to write this thread for much needed advice, as I am moving deeper into psychedelic tripping. My education of these substances has been primarily through online research, Terrence McKenna, and a few friends whom have limited experience. I really wish I knew some older individuals that have had extensive experience with these drugs and could further advise me. I am beginning to see that these drugs are entirely what you make it, but also that without proper education you can do damage to your own mind, body, and life.

My stats: Male, 20 years old (today is my birthday :) ), 110 pounds, vegan, and a student in community college. I've had history of situational depression, but have not felt any of it for the past six months. My father has bi-polar, but it doesn't seem like I do.

My experience with psychedelics (you don't need to read this, I just felt like writing it out. Skip down the page to see what my questions are.):

Mushrooms (1 time): This was my first psychedelic experience. I did this in Colorado when we were going on a snowboarding trip. I took somewhere around 2 grams of mushrooms. I had a horrible experience as it was a very bad set and setting. I had ridiculous amounts of anxiety in the next months, and thought I was schizophrenic. I told myself I wouldn't concern myself with these drugs again.

Salvia (1 time): A year after my mushroom trip I took a large bong hit with a 40x extract. I was primarily confused in the experience, and felt like my body wanted to roll. My friend was being a dick for some reason, I believe because he didn't seem to trip when he took a hit before me. I asked him if I was a tripping, and he said "I don't know." I felt like I was mentally handicapped and just waited for the trip to pass by.

DXM (2 times): I took a 350mg dose with the same friend I did salvia with. I had a great time, felt empathetic towards all individuals, and highly enjoyed the experience. The following day, I realized I no longer wanted to harm any living beings, so I moved towards vegetarianism and eventually veganism.

I did it again by myself with a similar dose, and felt like an angry Bill Cosby shouting Oscar Wilde plays. It was fun, but felt fairly confusing.

LSA (Morning Glory Seeds- 3 times): First time I took these, I puked them up after I kept eating more when I wasn't feeling anything. I felt very annoyed with my life afterwords, and felt I had been bullshitting myself and other people in my life through excuses. I wasn't working then and was facing financial issues.

Second time, I was drunk and decided to take them. Obviously I threw them up with no effect.

Third time: I finally was able to hold them down after using a better water extraction method. I felt very euphoric and mdma like. I sat in my bed listening to music and appreciating what I felt. This lasted for a couple hours then I came down very quickly.

Mescaline (1 time): By this time, I was reading heavily into Terence McKenna and was highly intrigued by what psychedelics could be used for. We each took a 12" cutting extraction. We took this out in nature by a waterfall. By this time it was two years since my bad trip with mushrooms, and while I was still worried, I was eager to trip with this new drug. I had fairly intense, fiery visuals in the sky. I had a 20 minute or so meditation looking into the clouds listening to Shpongle. I thought about a TM quote saying that the universe feels very feminine when tripping. This resonated highly for me, and I spent the next twenty minutes crying imaging the universe and nature as a constant, unrelinquished supporter of life. I felt that nature did feel like a mother, in how she continues loving without asking for any reciprocation. I stopped my mediation with tears streaming down my face and shared my thoughts with my friends. The remainder of the trip was appreciating nature and seeing life as a matter of two different, opposed paths. One of natural appreciation for life, and the other of cold industrialization that separates us from this planet and destroys it.

The experience was fairly sad, and I felt ashamed to be a human. I did a fairly good job of implementing what I learned on the experience by eating more healthy, treating people with love, and spending more time in nature. After a few months I felt as if I had fallen back into my old ways, and wanted to trip again.

2c-i (3 times): First experience I took 12mg. I was comfortable in the idea of tripping. At this point I have my own place, good job, going to school, have a girlfriend, and many friends whom I love. I did it with my best friend who I did dxm, mescaline and ecstasy with. I felt more attuned towards sound and vision, and upon coming up I was very euphoric. We spent most of the time laughing at the idea of communication and our ridiculous desire to want to express our often pretentious, incomplete ideas. We realized we don't know shit in the life. We went on walks outside and understood that what makes us happy in this life is appreciation for more simplistic, available things such as laughter, nature, and human emotion.

Second time: I took 16mg by myself a week after I took it with my friend. I had a difficult time making this experience productive in the first half. I wasn't interested in the visuals as they were the same as the last experience with 2c-i. I wasn't really interested in tripping out to music or movies, and they were uninteresting. I finally got myself to take a shower and then go outside. I felt my environment was really influencing the trip, because everything was cold outside as we just had a snow storm. My house felt dirty and unproductive. I started to text my girlfriend whom I've been dating for six weeks. I expressed how she is accurate in how I do not fully open up to her. When I went outside, I contemplated how much I sit inside my own head. I realized that I never see myself as human, and that I separate myself from other people, even though I am generally nice and active with them. I felt I was understanding what makes us human, and that what I am going through is the same as everybody else, our ego just identifies it with labels. I felt I really worked through some shit, and benefited from it in the coming days.

Third time: I did 20mg with my female best friend whom had never taken it. She took 18mg. She came up within twenty minutes, and it was taking me longer. We went for a walk and it was highly stimulating. I felt I was walking through a dream, but I had complete control over how to interpret things and enjoyed it. She was still having a difficult time so we went back to my house. I felt like colors were tearing apart and as if I was sitting in a hammock, and the room was swaying back and forth. My friend and I went into my room and tried to discuss things on my bed. We were both having difficulty in communication, but I was able to express myself fairly freely. The trip ended up resulting in us talking about our relationship together. We discussed our relative feeling of depression we have been having. But, I think the experience just confused us on things further, but I enjoyed it. The song from In Rainbows by Radiohead was great in how I was feeling, as the lyrics state "I have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm trapped in this body and can't get out."

2c-i really showed me to appreciate being human and to accept our emotions. But I did not like the chemical feeling and worry that the effects could be bad considering it has hardly any research. I have a pill of 2c-e that I will do with my friend, but after that I'm sticking to natural substances.

So after having about six real psychedelic experiences, I am seeing that these substances are not as fearful as I initially thought after my mushroom trip. They definitely seem like a catalyst for self growth for me. I could never use these drugs strictly for visuals or to "trip out" to music or film. I like listening to music while tripping, but I find it to be strictly a backdrop for my thoughts.


What I'm primarily seeking with psychedelics:

Self growth in understanding myself better and my relationship with other people.

Loving others more.

Finding solidarity in my life path.

Expanding consciousness and becoming more aware.

Experiencing other dimensions, even if they are just hallucinations.


What advice I'm asking:

What drugs should I experiment with now?

What are precautions I should take with tripping to not become dependent on them or risk my own physical and personal health?

Should I be respecting these drugs more by using them in nature?

Should I space my trips out by several months?

What psychedelic drugs should I shy away from?



I have some mimosa roots to extract DMT from. I'm not sure if I am ready to experience DMT yet. It seems like these could be entirely life alternating. I'm still confused on my own path in where I'm going educationally, and I don't want to confuse myself further unless I gain some form of clarity with DMT or ayahuasca. Should I take it?

I'm also curious on how LSD and Mushrooms differ from Mescaline and 2c-i.

Anyways... Thanks if you read this and any advice is appreciated from people whom are experienced with these drugs. <3
 
Well this is a major "What should I take" thread. But since you went through that much effort in that post I guess we can leave it open for a bit. ;)

I'm also is a phase of rapid growth. Lately I've been having fantastic LSD trips in the forest that have really given me a sense of connection with the earth and who I truly am. These have been about every second weekend. Since it has gotten really cold I have stopped though.

I have also found solitary trips on the forest only take me so far. I have bad social anxiety and I need to connect more with people and be more social.

I'm moving into a friend's house and am going to have a series of MDMA experiences with them likely spaced a month apart.

I had a methylone experience with them this past saturday that has really made me feel good and connected but I feel once I move in and get into some MDMA with them that things will really start to click. :)

I'll likely move it up to 2C-x's when I feel like getting into that instead of MDMA. That or LSD. I think it might be a while before I take a full dose of LSD around people though. That and the people I do it with have to comfortable with LSD as well. These people have never done LSD in the woods or ever gone on solo trips so the wavelengths are likely not quite the same. But watcha gonna do?
 
Well, strangely enough, I can relate a lot to your situation. I have some advice for you.

You don't really need our advice at this point. You seem pretty aware of your path, and I think you've done enough research and are in touch with yourself enough to know what's best for you. Don't dive into an ambitious situation. Yet, you must follow your heart. You really know what's best. You actually know the answers to your questions.

And, keep in mind always that psychedelics are not magic. They just help show you the magic that is already in the world. Be careful not to become attached to the psychedelic experience. What matters most is what you bring back to the World for yourself and others. But you already know this.
 
Thank you for leaving it open. I feel a little selfish to devote an entire thread to me seeking advice on this subject to a great extent.

I do feel drawn towards lsd, mushrooms, and mescaline at this point. For a while, I was researching so many experience reports and expecting my trips to be similar. Now I am seeing that I am my own individual and have my own expectations of psychedelics. 2c-i was very different in my reactions, I did find it insightful and less euphoric than others describe.

I just had an idea in the past hour. I'm considering brewing up some Ayahuasca and taking a select few friends into some secluded, beautiful, natural environment and dosing in the evening. I'd like to have someone experienced with the drug with us, maybe even a local shaman if I can find one. I feel fairly connected to this idea, and I think it could be a great way to enhance my own life and share it with others. I need something to look forward this coming year, as I'm going to be living a very frugal life while I'm saving to move elsewhere this summer. Also, the potential spiritual direction I could receive could be just what I need.
 
Try some Mushies again. That, and LSD seems to be a necessity for anyone interested in psychedelics.
 
Mushrooms have always been the most healing psych for me, and probably always will, there aren't many I haven't tried. A candyflip (lsd +mdma) is something that I think you should try, the experience is breathtaking. Neither drug takes over, they meld into a completely unique experience, a very special combination.
 
I don't think you really need much "guidance" in my opinion. Just try not to be tripping more than once a month, which is also not to suggest that you should get a trip in EVERY MONTH like a schedule or something.

Psychedelics definitely can be catalysts for personal growth, but be careful. It's easy to get really caught up in your head. Now that isn't necessarily a bad thing, as long as it isn't negatively influencing others. But I've definitely had moments in my life where I was so obsessed inside with all the connections and synchronicities in the world around me that I came off really distant and non caring to some people around me. It's easy to say that they just "dont get it", because in your mind you care about them more than ever, but in reality you may not be showing any true human emotion.

If you're serious about the lessons picked up from the psychedelic experience, you'll understand that being there for those around you is very important, no matter how amazing the cosmic consciousness is ;)
 
Top