Misc Recreational chocolate! :)

[MagickalKat777]

That would mean caffeine influenced me in some way before I started doing MDMA, which isn't the case. I could climb into bed after drinking HUGE amounts of caffeine and just fall asleep. I didn't feel any influence of caffeine in any way, no euphoria, no feeling of being wired, no jitteriness, no increased alertness or focus, nothing. And that changed when I started doing MDMA, now I definitely feel the effects of even a relatively (to what my normal doses used to be) small dose of caffeine. It's more than just a psychological phenomenon...

Yeah there is definitely some sort of sensitization that can happen. I used to take Vivarin pills, sometimes 3 a day. If I were to do that now, I'd be in the ER.

When I was a kid, coffee put me to sleep. Then around the age of 10 or 11 it turned into a mild stimulant. But it never had the huge impact on me that I had seen in others until I started rolling. Now I can't have it at all.

Just like you, I was drinking MAD energy drinks too. I used to drink the EAS Piranhas like they were going out of style and those bastards also had synephrine in them AND they tasted good!

My caffeine sensitivity makes it hard to roll unless I get damn good MDMA powder or crystals because pressed pills usually have caffeine and while I won't usually panic at the peak (it has happened but its rare and it was with MDA more than MDMA), I go into panic mode when I come down and that ruins my entire night.

I never really talk about it either unless I have to explain to someone why I won't go to the coffee house with them and don't drink soda, eat chocolate, etc. Then the conversation comes out and their response is pretty much universally "man that sucks, I couldn't live without caffeine" -.-

 

[sekio]

Yeah there is definitely some sort of sensitization that can happen. I used to take Vivarin pills, sometimes 3 a day. If I were to do that now, I'd be in the ER.

A large part of this comes from the fact that regular caffeine users become rather tolerant to the "bad" effects (or stop caring). Unless you are a regular caffeine user, "high" doses of caffeine, 80mg+, will be unpleasantly stimulating.

Expectation/association effects play a role too. Try having a small cup of tea, instead of a coffee, or something like that, and you may be pleasantly surprised.

 

[MagickalKat777]

I don't even bother with it at all anymore sekio. I know my mind has a lot to do with it... Hell I have anxiety attacks from drinking strong peppermint tea (which should technically be calming since its mildly GABAergic). I need to find some way to break my anxiety associations but I have so many of them that I just throw my hands up in the air.

Either way, I had a huge caffeine tolerance when caffeine started giving me panic attacks so my point is that whatever happened, happened right after I started rolling. The pills were tested as MDA, meth, and caffeine when I started rolling - Denver had some nasty pills, MDMA was unheard of in pills here in 2004 - it wasn't long before I became crazy sensitive to caffeine and while I haven't tried any lately, previous attempts over the years with even just a little bit of soda were disastrous even when I totally spaced that I was drinking caffeine as was the case when I went to Subway and got a vanilla Coke one time. Lets just say that when I felt the rush of the caffeine, I was in hell for the next three hours even after eating 4 .5mg Xanax.

Its not the biggest deal in the world. I mean now that I've had "real" stimulants... caffeine is pathetic. But still, its an interesting phenomenon when you panic from just a bit of caffeine but can do mephedrone til the cows come home.

 

[sekio]

If you have anxiety attacks from peppermint tea, I somehow doubt it's the caffeine you need to concern yourself with...

 

[MagickalKat777]

Tell me about it. I've got paradoxical reactions to just about everything since I've been on benzos. Even tylenol sets me off (yet ibuprofen doesn't).

Its weird. And it makes life literally a living hell. But as they say, I'm alive. Apparently that's something...

 

[bunge]

@magicalkat777, I know it sounds cliche but I found that with anxiety and panic attacks, you have to get yourself in the right mental state to begin to control it.
For me, I just had to convince myself that anxiety attacks werent going to kill, that nothing life-threatening was happening to me and I could get through it.
I know this likely itsnt a great help but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

....and pregabalin and mirtazapine have been quite helpful.lol

 

[TheLostBoys]

^^^^

Anxiety can be controlled with your mind. Kind of mind over matter.......a lot of depression & anxiety is caused by finances, relationships, etc......everyone has their reasons.

Others have underlying anxiety from their childhoods, something no one should endure.

Getting back to the chocolate topic at hand for this thread. I've experienced extreme euphoria from chocolate when I use to toke the ganja. I would eat the Hershey kisses & get a nice euphoric rush.

 

[MagickalKat777]

@magicalkat777, I know it sounds cliche but I found that with anxiety and panic attacks, you have to get yourself in the right mental state to begin to control it.
For me, I just had to convince myself that anxiety attacks werent going to kill, that nothing life-threatening was happening to me and I could get through it.
I know this likely itsnt a great help but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

....and pregabalin and mirtazapine have been quite helpful.lol

I have been working on them much more lately... The biggest key for me has been actually tapering down on my Valium. I started at 20mg in September and I'm at 7.5mg now and my symptoms are actually improving instead of getting worse (other than the withdrawal days... those suck, no doubt). I even managed to make it through an entire move from one apartment to the other without a panic attack (my back and my shoulder, on the other hand, are completely fucked). The other key was to stop compulsively checking my pulse, give up drinking, and give up smoking. I stopped drinking and smoking on 9/14 which is when I also started my taper. Man that sucked but I feel much better now.

Pregabalin was nice when I had it but since I'm going to have Medicare, its not an option because its so expensive and they won't cover it without fibromyalgia (although it wouldn't surprise me to find out that I had fibro either), I've been on all the benzos, SSRIs, etc. Mirtazapine was a nice anti-depressant but I can't say much for it and my anxiety since they had me on a Geodon, Lamictal, Mirtazapine, and Klonopin combo when I was taking it and I got fed up and dropped all those meds at once.

^^^^

Anxiety can be controlled with your mind. Kind of mind over matter.......a lot of depression & anxiety is caused by finances, relationships, etc......everyone has their reasons.

Others have underlying anxiety from their childhoods, something no one should endure.

Getting back to the chocolate topic at hand for this thread. I've experienced extreme euphoria from chocolate when I use to toke the ganja. I would eat the Hershey kisses & get a nice euphoric rush.

Yeah, I have PTSD going all the way back to my childhood... Shit that got buried and festered apparently. Good times.

Weed and chocolate was always an awesome combo lol. I'd go nuts on chocolate when I was high and get an almost opiate-like nod. I always figured I was the only one!