Hello, I've been sober for four months after a six year run of using pretty much everything. I have tried multiple times to clean up my act but nothing lasted past two weeks.
I was the type of user to go on binges on one drug after quitting another ending in a endless cycle. Now gladly the cycle has ended ( hopefully) and I try and gain some balance in my brain chemistry, emotions, feelings and perceptions.
My binges consisted of use of everything, not gonna list bc it doesn't matter but the drugs I feel have helped throw off the inner workings inside my head are;
-ecstasy ( taken app. 4000 pills ) now leaving me with horrible short term memory, back and neck tension/ pain, and a wonderful teeth grinding tendency during sleep :D
- LSD ( say around 600 doses or more ) Now leaving me with what I believe is HPPD, where on a daily bases small stimuli will trigger flashbacks and leave me in an unwanted state of, idk, fry..
- DOB ( 150 doses within a month ) By far the nastiest chemical I have ever endured!!! I feel a friend and I went off the deep end after both consuming 3 vials together within a month.
Other than that, I have used everything which Im sure other drugs have had a contributing factor to my brain being derailed but those three have in my eyes led me off the diving board.
Now, four months sober, Coming to terms with life a bit ( its quite boring now ) but its what needs to finally happen if I don't wanna live on the streets and make something of myself.
I am troubled though by the lasting side effects of my fun.
I have pretty bad depression ( though its weird because I realize my 'down' feelings are artificial"
Pretty fucked up sleep patterns,
extreme stress and anxiety ( I find it almost impossible to speak to strangers while sober, which leads me to drugs to have motivation, another endless cycle. )
pretty much I just wanna wake up from this nightmare and feel normal again, like I once did before my chemical journey or as close to functional as possible.
Does anyone have any hints to how people that feel as though they have endured these feelings overcome them.
And also, any supplements I can take to help chemically balance my noodle.
I can't afford a psychologist and or psychiatrist so,
ANY ADVICE WILL HELP PROFOUNDLY.
Thanks for your time..... Neal
I was the type of user to go on binges on one drug after quitting another ending in a endless cycle. Now gladly the cycle has ended ( hopefully) and I try and gain some balance in my brain chemistry, emotions, feelings and perceptions.
My binges consisted of use of everything, not gonna list bc it doesn't matter but the drugs I feel have helped throw off the inner workings inside my head are;
-ecstasy ( taken app. 4000 pills ) now leaving me with horrible short term memory, back and neck tension/ pain, and a wonderful teeth grinding tendency during sleep :D
- LSD ( say around 600 doses or more ) Now leaving me with what I believe is HPPD, where on a daily bases small stimuli will trigger flashbacks and leave me in an unwanted state of, idk, fry..
- DOB ( 150 doses within a month ) By far the nastiest chemical I have ever endured!!! I feel a friend and I went off the deep end after both consuming 3 vials together within a month.
Other than that, I have used everything which Im sure other drugs have had a contributing factor to my brain being derailed but those three have in my eyes led me off the diving board.
Now, four months sober, Coming to terms with life a bit ( its quite boring now ) but its what needs to finally happen if I don't wanna live on the streets and make something of myself.
I am troubled though by the lasting side effects of my fun.
I have pretty bad depression ( though its weird because I realize my 'down' feelings are artificial"
Pretty fucked up sleep patterns,
extreme stress and anxiety ( I find it almost impossible to speak to strangers while sober, which leads me to drugs to have motivation, another endless cycle. )
pretty much I just wanna wake up from this nightmare and feel normal again, like I once did before my chemical journey or as close to functional as possible.
Does anyone have any hints to how people that feel as though they have endured these feelings overcome them.
And also, any supplements I can take to help chemically balance my noodle.
I can't afford a psychologist and or psychiatrist so,
ANY ADVICE WILL HELP PROFOUNDLY.
Thanks for your time..... Neal