BourbonMac
Bluelighter
I say scared because well, that's how it felt.
I had major sinus surgery recently and was given oxycodone, 5mg IR. I used them as directed, for the most part, but since I only had 8 I had to be careful about using them.
So I used them up, and started to enjoy the high more and more...
For context, I've been taking care of my mother at the same time who had a major hip replacement surgery and was prescribed the same drug. She offered me 5 or so well after my pain was bad, and I accepted. I started to enjoy the high even more, one night I was in total, complete, numb bliss.
I'm a daily kratom user, so in my mind, this was just replacing the kratom since the kratom would likely not do enough. I find that inaccurate at this point, because this morning with a BRUTAL headache, I took some kratom and it was gone, and I wasn't feeling quite the same level of high as the Oxy.
So what's the scary part? Well, I snuck at least one or two from her pill jar. They don't really help her pain, but still. I feel like total shit knowing that I did this, and I almost did it again tonight, but I stopped myself. I won't take any more of them. Opiates and I are drugs that should not be administered unless there is a genuine need. I likely get my wisdom teeth out later this year and I'm sure they would prescribe something, but I may request tylenol/codeine since that is weaker I'm pretty sure, and tylenol is the better pain reliever in general anyway. The oxycodone was never that helpful for my pain or for my mother.
I just had to get this off my chest. I see this is how addiction to these substances start out. I've always been one to experiment with drugs but this really pushes it for me and I feel ashamed. I'm not ashamed of using kratom because it has a genuine positive impact on my life (mostly) and is incredibly safe. I know when the time to stop using it will come, I will have to, whether it's banned or whether I just decide I no longer need it. I've been using it daily for close to 5 years, I use around 5-6g a day.
I still need to get off of valium too. I've been on it for 4.5 months at 10-15mg. I like this stuff quite a bit, but it really became like, a weed substitute in a stupid way because due to all of my sinus conditions, THC would actually exacerbate my pain, and it was my go-to for anxiety or panic attacks, which were increasingly frequent throughout this absolute hellish year I've had. By far the worst. I shot down benzos from my GP years before this because I knew they had addictive potential, but it reached the point where it was like, I'll probably kill myself if I don't stop some of these horrifying anxiety episodes. Fortunately, I can use cannabis again. I actually started to last month and have only been using it at night.
I think I need a good psychedelic cleansing, really. A friend of mine has heaps of DMT (including vape carts), and to really double down on the THC. I think I will always have a moderate addictive personality, because I don't see myself ever quitting using cannabis for the rest of my life. I just couldn't. It's like a shackle, but it's a shackle with a compass on it that tells me where to go... if that makes sense. Spending 3-4 months without any THC only showed me that my quality of life with it is seriously better, and I never really suffered from any memory problems or any of the stereotypical stuff associated with cannabis use (granted I was smoking like half a gram a day, but still). We all have our ceilings.
I'm not really sure where this is going now, but yeah... was scary to witness myself feeling the temptation to try and take more of the Oxy. She's no longer using them because they don't help her, so I could take all of them if I wanted. But I won't. Fuck no. I'm thankful for kratom in this instance, truly. She was also given Gabapentin for nerve pain but the dose is RETARDEDLY low. 100mg 3 times a day, after a hip replacement. The dude who prescribed that is an idiot. She ran out of them so I gave her quite a few of mine as I have them prescribed for anxiety, 600mg a day. I plan to quit this one sooner or later as it does diddly at this point, but I at least felt good knowing I could've helped her out. Gabapentin is what she needs more than oxycodone.
I had major sinus surgery recently and was given oxycodone, 5mg IR. I used them as directed, for the most part, but since I only had 8 I had to be careful about using them.
So I used them up, and started to enjoy the high more and more...
For context, I've been taking care of my mother at the same time who had a major hip replacement surgery and was prescribed the same drug. She offered me 5 or so well after my pain was bad, and I accepted. I started to enjoy the high even more, one night I was in total, complete, numb bliss.
I'm a daily kratom user, so in my mind, this was just replacing the kratom since the kratom would likely not do enough. I find that inaccurate at this point, because this morning with a BRUTAL headache, I took some kratom and it was gone, and I wasn't feeling quite the same level of high as the Oxy.
So what's the scary part? Well, I snuck at least one or two from her pill jar. They don't really help her pain, but still. I feel like total shit knowing that I did this, and I almost did it again tonight, but I stopped myself. I won't take any more of them. Opiates and I are drugs that should not be administered unless there is a genuine need. I likely get my wisdom teeth out later this year and I'm sure they would prescribe something, but I may request tylenol/codeine since that is weaker I'm pretty sure, and tylenol is the better pain reliever in general anyway. The oxycodone was never that helpful for my pain or for my mother.
I just had to get this off my chest. I see this is how addiction to these substances start out. I've always been one to experiment with drugs but this really pushes it for me and I feel ashamed. I'm not ashamed of using kratom because it has a genuine positive impact on my life (mostly) and is incredibly safe. I know when the time to stop using it will come, I will have to, whether it's banned or whether I just decide I no longer need it. I've been using it daily for close to 5 years, I use around 5-6g a day.
I still need to get off of valium too. I've been on it for 4.5 months at 10-15mg. I like this stuff quite a bit, but it really became like, a weed substitute in a stupid way because due to all of my sinus conditions, THC would actually exacerbate my pain, and it was my go-to for anxiety or panic attacks, which were increasingly frequent throughout this absolute hellish year I've had. By far the worst. I shot down benzos from my GP years before this because I knew they had addictive potential, but it reached the point where it was like, I'll probably kill myself if I don't stop some of these horrifying anxiety episodes. Fortunately, I can use cannabis again. I actually started to last month and have only been using it at night.
I think I need a good psychedelic cleansing, really. A friend of mine has heaps of DMT (including vape carts), and to really double down on the THC. I think I will always have a moderate addictive personality, because I don't see myself ever quitting using cannabis for the rest of my life. I just couldn't. It's like a shackle, but it's a shackle with a compass on it that tells me where to go... if that makes sense. Spending 3-4 months without any THC only showed me that my quality of life with it is seriously better, and I never really suffered from any memory problems or any of the stereotypical stuff associated with cannabis use (granted I was smoking like half a gram a day, but still). We all have our ceilings.
I'm not really sure where this is going now, but yeah... was scary to witness myself feeling the temptation to try and take more of the Oxy. She's no longer using them because they don't help her, so I could take all of them if I wanted. But I won't. Fuck no. I'm thankful for kratom in this instance, truly. She was also given Gabapentin for nerve pain but the dose is RETARDEDLY low. 100mg 3 times a day, after a hip replacement. The dude who prescribed that is an idiot. She ran out of them so I gave her quite a few of mine as I have them prescribed for anxiety, 600mg a day. I plan to quit this one sooner or later as it does diddly at this point, but I at least felt good knowing I could've helped her out. Gabapentin is what she needs more than oxycodone.