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recent break up

T

Trojan2000

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
17
Location
Georgia USA
I recently got broken up with by the first girl i ever loved and the experiance after is shitty and weird.

She broke up with me and wanted to be friends and i was torn but i cared more about what made her happy and said sure but then found out she started hanging out with guy that i knew liked her and got paranoid and thought she dumped me for him. I was torn and started drinking and going down hill. I had suspected she liked him and ask and she would never answer me straight but i was obvious. but one day we hung out and we were talking about it and she kissed me and then we made out and at that point i was excited and i ended up fingering her and she gave me head and I told her you have to make a choice me or him and at that point she said okay. so the next day i asked her and all she could say was she was sorry about the night before and she wasnt thinking with her head. she basically said she chose him and i was fucked up agian. so fast forward to 2 days after valentines where she blew me off the day after, i was at work and told her i didnt know if i could be her friend because it seemed it was all a dead end and then she told me she was dating him, yet agian things got darker for me drinking cutting it was all a dark blurry mess and I ended up drunk tecting her how i was gonna smash his bad knee in and kick the shit out of him. When i woke up i felt so bad because i had broken and showed her how dark I truly was and I stopped talking to her.

2 weeks later im in Gym and i get a text and its her saying she misses me and It hit me like a truck i was still struggleing with getting over her but it all rushed back and i loved her agian its fucked up but it happened and we ended up talking it out and we decided to hang out.

so this was last night we were hanging out and I asked her about the night were we made out and she said she needed it because i stoll her sex drive and she cant get wet or turned on still to this day without thinking about me and she still really likes me but also likes him and she thinks of breaking up with him because he isnt a gentleman and can be a douche but if she does she wouldn't date me probably because she might move.

I just feel so pulled back and forth and I dont know what to do. i feel like i might have a chance but still dont know what the hell to do and need some advice from more experienced people because this is all way to fucked for me to think rational about it and need advice

but Thanks for the help any advice is much needed:\
 
Yeah, its rough because she wants you AND him, so what do you do?

Go out with her... and you're ALWAYS going to be jealous, is she talking to him? Does she still like him (& she'll tell you no but she will and you know this)? Is she going to leave me for him? Everytime you get into a fight, is she going to go back to him? etc etc.

Don't go out with her... she's just going to keep playing with your feelings, I like you, I don't, I like you monday, I'm not sure wednesday, friday, I want him, Sun, but no I miss you!

Or... cut her off and move on to someone who likes YOU and is 100% sure they just like YOU because YOU are good enough. You want someone to like you just as much as you like them. You like her and her only... shouldn't you deserve the same?
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Or... cut her off and move on to someone who likes YOU and is 100% sure they just like YOU because YOU are good enough. You want someone to like you just as much as you like them. You like her and her only... shouldn't you deserve the same?
Click to expand...

Exactly what Pretty Diamonds said.. This chick you speak of is just a complete mind fuck. Sounds like its all games. It's real simple really. A chick either likes you and wants to be with only you or she doesn't...If she doesn't want to be with only you then I hate to break it to you, but that's not the right girl for you..

If i was you i would get in for one last bang session or blowjob (whatever you're able to get) and then just cut her off and not talk to her again.
Lots of women out there that wont play mind games. Trust me, i've been down that road before- A pretty similar situation to yours actually. So just move on man.
 
Dont go back to her! She needs to learn you don't treat people that way! You are not her security blanket that she that she can take out and put away every time she wants to! I understand you love her but you deserve better! Every time you start to move on she pulls you back. she doesn't deserve to keep your love!
 
she wants you then doesn't, then wants you then doesn't, then wants you then doesn't.

does this sound like a pattern you can tolerate long term?

i couldnt take that stress personally...
 
She never stopped liking me as far as I could tell its more of I tried to cut her off and it didn't work and when we hung out I found out she still liked me but yes she is dating him but might break up with him because he isn't a gentleman and acts like a douche around his friends but I don't know I want her so bad but it's just hard
 
she's taking the piss. you are there to make her feel wanted and he's there to have sex with her

she loves attention and if she isn't going to be with you you wont get over her by being friends imediately.
 
When you enter into a relationship with a "needy" person, expect to be put last. It seems that the more attention she demands the more she gets. People like this don't really love the people they are with, they only love themselves! Protect your heart!
 
Trojan2000 said:
She never stopped liking me as far as I could tell its more of I tried to cut her off and it didn't work and when we hung out I found out she still liked me but yes she is dating him but might break up with him because he isn't a gentleman and acts like a douche around his friends but I don't know I want her so bad but it's just hard
Click to expand...
She never stopped liking you.. but she also never stopped liking him. You're giving us reasons WHY she doesn't like him, but yet.. she's with him and not you... she hasn't broken up with him... she's probably still having sex with him... something to think about.
 
empathicgirl said:
When you enter into a relationship with a "needy" person, expect to be put last. It seems that the more attention she demands the more she gets. People like this don't really love the people they are with, they only love themselves! Protect your heart!
Click to expand...

wow- so fucking true

Pretty_Diamonds said:
She never stopped liking you.. but she also never stopped liking him. You're giving us reasons WHY she doesn't like him, but yet.. she's with him and not you... she hasn't broken up with him... she's probably still having sex with him... something to think about.
Click to expand...

frsh d?
 
pofacedhoe said:
she's taking the piss. you are there to make her feel wanted and he's there to have sex with her

she loves attention and if she isn't going to be with you you wont get over her by being friends imediately.
Click to expand...

Exactly.

She doesn't know what she wants (which is reasonable) but she's leading both of you on. That is NOT okay. You need to cut ties with her. You don't need someone like her in your life
 
We have a weird friendship where I can ask her things and she will be 100 percent honest and I'm he same and sex came up and I asked if she had had sex with him and she looks at me and said "God no I'm not a slut" but yet I don't know whether to believe her

but last night she went home crying after hanging out with me and her dad found it about this fucked up situation and he told her she HAS to make a choice and soon so fingers crossed and if she chooses him in high tailing my ass out of there because this stress is killing me
 
We have a weird friendship where I can ask her things and she will be 100 percent honest and I'm he same and sex came up and I asked if she had had sex with him and she looks at me and said "God no I'm not a slut" but yet I don't know whether to believe her

but last night she went home crying after hanging out with me and her dad found it about this fucked up situation and he told her she HAS to make a choice and soon so fingers crossed and if she chooses him in high tailing my ass out of there because this stress is killing me

And for the people saying to move on its hard to find another girl for me because I am very much myself around everyone and it turns a lot of people off but I was myself around her and she loved it so it's just hard to find someone who actually accepts me and that's what she was
 
Bro, I know you're writing here wanting people to tell you she's worth it, but the advice being offered is from those who have been there and done that. You're young, naive and are being played by a girl who doesn't give a crap about how her actions affect you. That's not going to change and there's no chance things will work out in your favour.

I know that sometimes it feels like there are so few people out there who can see the real you, who you connect with, who you feel comfortable with, especially when you're an introvert. But trust me, there are plenty of women out there that you will find and will Hit it off with, and it's worth taking your time to find one that actually respects you and your feelings.

Right now, you're placing a woman on a pedestal, who doesn't deserve to be there, and who will destroy the little self-worth and confidence that you have. You need to get away from her and work out the things that you want to do for yourself, who you want to be, where you want to be; you've got plenty of time to do this. The sense of direction and self-belief that comes with this knowledge will attract people to you!

You will realise all this in your own time; whether it's sooner or later (after much more heartbreak) is up to you.
 
As my dad always says "lay with dogs and you'll get flees." You already know this dog is infested. So when you start itching don't complain!
 
Well i was hanging out with her last night and i told her I really wanted to kiss her and then out of no where she said well the feeling is mutual... I asked her why and she said because she still loved me and fucked it all up and i asked her what did she fuck up? and she started bawling and said she fucked us up and that she wanted me back but felt trapped and when im around her she just falls back in love and that she thought the person breaking up would get it easy but it was so hard for her not to cave and it got really quite and then i asked her if i kissed her would it hurt her and she said only because it would proboly hurt me because i might not be able to have it agian and i asked her agian and when i got done she (already laying in my lap from after crying she made her way down there) grabbed me and started kissing me and we slowly made it to where she was siting in my lap stradling me then she told me to take my dick out and i looked her in the face and said do you really want to do this and she said yes and i asked her agian making sure she didnt want to fuck up and cheat on him and she said yes agian so she started to suck my dick then my mom called and i had to leave and take her home but on the way home i said you just cheated on him and she said yeah and then i asked would she cheat on me and she said she could never do that to me because she actually loves me...

I dont know what to do Im tempted to hang out with her and do it agian but ill say if she really wants to do this she HAS to break up with him but yet agian im scared she will choose himk but maybe it would be a sign that i need to move on...

But at the same time i feel like a douche for breaking bro code and my morals of never cheating or being some one who helped cheat but It just all kinda happened and i should have been the bigger man and said no you have to choose if you want to do this.. Right?? or should i just move on and try to do it agian but make her choose me... but i feel like I would be taking advantage of a moment when she is week and I feel kinda douchy for that because the guy she is with is a Jr. and im a freshman and not to be racist but he is black so i dont feel like fucking up and getting my shit kicked in but I still love her so its all so confusing and blurry if you understand.
 
You already know what you need to do

Tell her if she wants to be with you she needs to break up with him. It's less hurt feelings all around. If she says no or gives you some excuse--well, then you know where you stand. I get that you fear her saying "no". But wouldn't you rather truly know where her head is--I would --if she wants to be with you this is her opportunity. If she doesn't, then stop hanging out with her. Or you'll end up in a bad situation.

You don't want to be the "guy on the side".

And if she gives you some crap that she can't break up with him right now because -___________ (fill in excuse), then just walk away.

If she for real likes you she will make the effort to be with you. If she doesn't you'll see it in her actions not her words


Ah, those early days of first love/crushes....I hope it all works out for you, but if it doesn't just keep being yourself and eventually you will find that person who appreciates you. For some people it doesn't happen til college (more diverse and accepting atmosphere)
 
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