reccomendations on what to do with 18 year old junkie brother?

[more]

Whether or not you guys wanna believe it, paying for a hotel for him is enabling him. I mean c'mon, seriously? This is coming from somebody that got out of rehab a few weeks ago and has 70+ days sober. He has stolen from you guys, walked all over you guys, and treated you like shit and you're going to provide a safe place for him to sit around at use at? Stupidity. Some people NEED to spend some time in jail to realize where their life is headed and that they can only fix what is going on by quitting dope. It isn't easy but this kid obviously will not learn unless he is completely cut off. As for you saying that you didn't want him to steal or whatever, that is just excuses you are making because you love him. It's time to do the whole tough love thing COMPLETELY, because nothing else seems to be working.

and I don't think your dad should be giving him food or rides. if he shows up on your doorstep passed out you can take him to the hospital, but I agree with the majority here and say you guys have got to let him come on his own. It's the only way.

For some insight on the addict's mind, maybe check out Nic Sheff's Tweak. The first 100 pages or so are very accurately an addict at his or her worst.

 

[theartofwar]

I have to disagree w the all tough love - it turns off a lot of people completely when they are at the lowest point. Having some balance is critical, not easy at all, but crucial to recovery. However, everyone is different, i just hope it gets better :/.

 

[Jabberwocky]

for the past year he has been telling my parents he will pee for them in a few days. he always came up dirty. but apparently he took a drug test for my parents and passed. my moms pretty good about it and to make sure he doesn't cheat. i told her all my secrets such as holding clean pee in a pill bottle in my boxers waistband and pouring it in. and of course not being near water. he passed. not sure what is next, i'm sure they'll test him again in order to make sure he didn't some how manage to cheat.

 

[smackem]

I've gone through what your brother is going through. Same age as well. Here is my take on it:

Putting him up in a sleazy hotel is enabling him. Letting him stay in your house for a few nights (provided he isn't stealing, buying/selling, or letting junkie friends hang around) is not enabling. Giving him food when he is hungry is not enabling him. It is a tough life out there as a junkie. You don't have to let him starve to have him want to get clean.

Finding your bottom is a rough road and giving him the cold shoulder by refusing to give him food if he is starving is fucked up.

Maybe try offering him food/shelter only in return for attempting an opioid replacement program. If he is already smoking tar, he will soon be shooting it. I would be surprised if he isn't already. Maybe try to help him understand the benifits to methadone or bupe.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I've gone through what your brother is going through. Same age as well. Here is my take on it:

Putting him up in a sleazy hotel is enabling him. Letting him stay in your house for a few nights (provided he isn't stealing, buying/selling, or letting junkie friends hang around) is not enabling. Giving him food when he is hungry is not enabling him. It is a tough life out there as a junkie. You don't have to let him starve to have him want to get clean.

Finding your bottom is a rough road and giving him the cold shoulder by refusing to give him food if he is starving is fucked up.

Maybe try offering him food/shelter only in return for attempting an opioid replacement program. If he is already smoking tar, he will soon be shooting it. I would be surprised if he isn't already. Maybe try to help him understand the benifits to methadone or bupe.

yeah we were giving him a sleeping bag and pillow and he could sleep on our back porch...or if he was hungry my mom would make him a sandwich and stuff...but wouldn't give him what he wanted like fast food