Over the past 2 years or so i've gradually reduced my alcohol/cannabis intake since i lost someone very dear to my heart, so i am pretty proud i have managed to resist temptation since before that happened i was dabbling in some things that were affecting me mentally i.e. crystal meth, meph etc, benzos which i believe contributed to some of my (minor)self harm... although thats not to say booze and wed hasnt affected me in a negative way cause ive abused the fuck out of both since ive stopped the former.
Before the night everything changed we were high on e and something come over me whilst watching an Ian Brown Dvd, it was the tune 'Be There'. I just got this overwhelming feeling of unusual dread/weirdness but I put this down to raised anxiety from the pills or something (im a chronic worrier. Anyway turns out I really should have 'Been there' as i stayed at a friends the evening he stopped breathing. He's clearly a fighter cause he's still here although it was close he can no longer communicate etc its really bad... just wish I'd been there.
Before all this stuff i had my own shit to deal with that i find hard to contemplate, especially without him, my best friend to support me. Our only weakness was drugs, which made things too messy cause we both loved it a bit too much. Making and spending too much money on meph and smack. When i should have been focused on our future and having his back. Some people say they don't have regrets but I deffo do. It also doesn't help that Im craving meph cause it reminds me of you. I don't know if that's happy or just sad.
p.s. the mushies are calling me , they remind me of u too, maybe il see u oneday. x
Before the night everything changed we were high on e and something come over me whilst watching an Ian Brown Dvd, it was the tune 'Be There'. I just got this overwhelming feeling of unusual dread/weirdness but I put this down to raised anxiety from the pills or something (im a chronic worrier. Anyway turns out I really should have 'Been there' as i stayed at a friends the evening he stopped breathing. He's clearly a fighter cause he's still here although it was close he can no longer communicate etc its really bad... just wish I'd been there.
Before all this stuff i had my own shit to deal with that i find hard to contemplate, especially without him, my best friend to support me. Our only weakness was drugs, which made things too messy cause we both loved it a bit too much. Making and spending too much money on meph and smack. When i should have been focused on our future and having his back. Some people say they don't have regrets but I deffo do. It also doesn't help that Im craving meph cause it reminds me of you. I don't know if that's happy or just sad.
p.s. the mushies are calling me , they remind me of u too, maybe il see u oneday. x