ehmkayy
Greenlighter
Hi there (SUPER nervous). I have a long and... interesting history with drugs. Smoked weed for the first time when I was 10 (same night I drank for the first time), the next week I did coke, the next X. Once I did X I dove head in to psychadelics. From then on, it was all down hill. From age 10 to 17 I was arrested.. around 15 times, went to Juvie several times, was on house arrest a ton and got sent off to Rehabs down by the coast 3 or 4 times. After my last rehab stint I came home, lasted maybe a week and then just packed my stuff in a trash bag and headed down the street. I wasn't sure where I was goin but I wasn't staying there. I was very well known all over my town for having and knowing how to get my hands on literally anything, that being said, I was picked up by a friend passin by within 10 minutes.
From the day I left to 11.5 months later I was completely homeless. I was couch hoppin as much as I could but there wasn't always a place to stay. During the Second month I went with a friend to get some "stuff", she left me in the living room and snuck out the back; she had traded me for an 8ball. Luckily there was a guy on the couch that I had been chatting with who promised that I would be let go, but there was a condition, I had to smoke some Ice with him and his friend so the other guy would "trust me". I had dabbled in crack and opium but had avoided meth. On purpose. I had no choice so I did, then they threw me out the front door. Next thing I know, I'm super human! I'm running through the streets, euphoric as can be and so excited! I was a full blown meth head for the next year.
Then I found out I was pregnant. I completely sobered up the second I found out. Yes, it hurt. Yes, I was scared. But yes, I did it. I stayed sober for 2 years and then I started having sever chronic back pain that kept getting worse and worse. I finally got a job that had insurance and it turns out that a car wreck I had been in 5 years earlier that shattered my hips, had also killed part of my spine and damaged a ton of nerves and had just been sitting there getting worse. That's how I came to love my pain pills. I took tramadol for a while, then hydrocodone (5s), then 10s, then Oxycontin (10), then Oxycodone (15) and just today I got switched to Dilaudid. I hate my pain, I hate not being able to stand or walk or play, I hate not being the best mom or person I can be... but I do have a guilty pleasure when it comes to my meds. And maybe that's the old addict in me saying, "Hiiii! I'm still here!". One day I'll have to quit but until then.. I'm very excited to be apart of this forum (I've never been in a forum or even just website before, so this should be fun!).
Everything I just typed has never been said out loud because I'm scared of being judged. For a long time I was scared of even being honest with myself. But now, I look forward to being here, after snooping around a little, I truly feel I can be honest and NOT judged here. I actually found this site cause I was researching Dilauded since I've never had it before, so if anyone knows anything about it, please share. Anyways, longest into ever. Ha. Thanks..
P.S. Also enjoy writing poetry, drawing and painting, anything weird/macabre, vaping and mom stuffs!
From the day I left to 11.5 months later I was completely homeless. I was couch hoppin as much as I could but there wasn't always a place to stay. During the Second month I went with a friend to get some "stuff", she left me in the living room and snuck out the back; she had traded me for an 8ball. Luckily there was a guy on the couch that I had been chatting with who promised that I would be let go, but there was a condition, I had to smoke some Ice with him and his friend so the other guy would "trust me". I had dabbled in crack and opium but had avoided meth. On purpose. I had no choice so I did, then they threw me out the front door. Next thing I know, I'm super human! I'm running through the streets, euphoric as can be and so excited! I was a full blown meth head for the next year.
Then I found out I was pregnant. I completely sobered up the second I found out. Yes, it hurt. Yes, I was scared. But yes, I did it. I stayed sober for 2 years and then I started having sever chronic back pain that kept getting worse and worse. I finally got a job that had insurance and it turns out that a car wreck I had been in 5 years earlier that shattered my hips, had also killed part of my spine and damaged a ton of nerves and had just been sitting there getting worse. That's how I came to love my pain pills. I took tramadol for a while, then hydrocodone (5s), then 10s, then Oxycontin (10), then Oxycodone (15) and just today I got switched to Dilaudid. I hate my pain, I hate not being able to stand or walk or play, I hate not being the best mom or person I can be... but I do have a guilty pleasure when it comes to my meds. And maybe that's the old addict in me saying, "Hiiii! I'm still here!". One day I'll have to quit but until then.. I'm very excited to be apart of this forum (I've never been in a forum or even just website before, so this should be fun!).
Everything I just typed has never been said out loud because I'm scared of being judged. For a long time I was scared of even being honest with myself. But now, I look forward to being here, after snooping around a little, I truly feel I can be honest and NOT judged here. I actually found this site cause I was researching Dilauded since I've never had it before, so if anyone knows anything about it, please share. Anyways, longest into ever. Ha. Thanks..
P.S. Also enjoy writing poetry, drawing and painting, anything weird/macabre, vaping and mom stuffs!
