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Opioids ReaLly need help. I screwed up! Messed up big time :(

I think you should definitely try suboxone. Not sure why you've only heard bad things, sure - some people find it unpleasant, for others it has been a wonder drug. In my own experience and that of my wife and some other close friends, suboxone is the perfect way to get off methadone. If 'done is your preference (over subs) for a maintenance drug, then stay on the 'done until you want to be completely clean of dependant drugs, reduce you 'done as much as you can, then make the switch, just remember that when you jump from 'done to subs you need to be very careful of precipitated WD. Obvious 'done has a huge half-life, so wait until you're in WD before switching.
 
Are you ready to quit all opiates? If so then Suboxone may be for you. It does not get you high, you have to start to withdrawal from methadone before you can start taking it, and if you get the film the "orange-Tang" flavor will make you want to punch kittens. That being said Suboxone will make you feel normal again. I screwed up my chances of being long term clean by successfully using Suboxone to do a quick taper (Dr wanted long term use), being opiate free for a while, then going back to the dark side by using the left over Sub (had a ton of it) as a crutch. I didn't care if I went through spells of not finding anything because I knew in the back of my mind I had Subs that I could take when the going got rough. I don't want my story to scare you away, I just wish I was 100% ready to quit for the long run before I took them. The relief you get from Suboxone is amazing though, I went through a day of withdrawals before I took my first Sub (dr gave me 20 pills, and a script for the film) and within 30 mins of taking the first pill all symptoms went away and for the first time in a long time I felt great in a non high way. Normalcy of life before opiates started to return over the course of the first few days, it was great! Normal sleep cycle, normal poops, and a normal appetite, I also quit acting like a moody bitch and was pleasant to be around. I had read of people who had been on long term Sub use having a hell of a time trying to get off and I didn't want to go down that road. I used the Subs for about a month, tapering down from a beginning dose of 8mg to 1mg, then I would dose 1mg, take two days off, and dose 1mg again. I still went through withdrawals at the end but it was not bad at all. I should have stayed clean but ended up getting back on the opiate buss a few months later. If your ready to take the leap of being opiate free go talk to your Dr about getting on Subs, there is nothing wrong with long term maintenance if you end up being on them for a while. Just make sure your ready or you'll end up like me trying to quit for good using Lope, Kratom, and will power.
 
I hate methadone sometimes :(. I forgot how much I hated too it until I went on it again. (It was helping at first).

And I don't know why, but Kratom doesn't really work for me. it didn't really cover my withdrawals fully and at the same time got me a little too lifted for my liking. I quit Kratom! It even made more cravings surface..

I don't know why but I also have a really fast metabolism, so the methadone doesn't really last me until the mornings fully (a full 24 hours).
Even when I was on higher doses, the same thing happened to me..
When I was recently on doses over ten even, the glow wore out and I was left bed ridden feeling like an empty shell of myself. So enrgyless it's not even funny!! :(.
The ten doesn't feel as severe but I still have problems.
And no I wasn't using on top. I just tried the Kratom to help me get off or help if that's considered using?
I might be considering the Suboxone.. I'm not even sure if my Doctor would consider it though if I do, which sucks. And it's so damn expensive too!
I know you have to be off of the Methadone for 3 days or so before you can even go on Subxone to, so that worries me because I'm so damn sensitive to the withdrawals as it is.
I've tried the Methadone so many damn times already to.
And thanks for all the replies. I guess I do have a hard time forgiving myself sometimes. At the same time though I don't think all the blame should be put on me. :S
I just want to be stable and feel normal already. I don't know why but last time I was on Methadone I went through the same (if not worse hells) now that I think back. I don't think my Doctor fully understands either, and I don't know why my body reacts to it so damn negatively like it does. I was hoping the Kratom would be my shot out to, but it just wasn't right for me.
After about a month or so the dose stopped working to, or the glow wore out and I was left with all of the side-effects and depression again :(... I just want to be properly treated already to be honest!
I have a hard time letting go of the Benzos too. That one's hard. (Especially at the same time).
 
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Yup, yup, subs are the way to go for sure! There's plenty of drs that will help u out, I think blulight even has a list of sub drs all over the country... Good luck and gods speed...
 
Suboxone is the way to go. You need to get your benzo habbit under control too. Talk to your doctor, you may need other medication besides the benzos that can help with anxiety and your mood. Good luck.
 
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