• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Reading on the Toilet

I don't spend enough time at the toilet to read much...never understood how people read books...like how long does it take some people to shit; i wonder


When i go to the bathroom, i go in do what i got to do, and come out... Some of my friends spend so much time in the bathroom they call it their library
 
If I'm pooping, I don't like to touch anything. I'm in there and outta' there as soon as humanly possible.

If I'm doing a tinkle, I nearly always bring my phone in with me. I'm a natural born multi-tasker, what can I say? I can send an email or text while doing any number of other things. :)
 
yes, as I matter of fact, before nearly all acts of rest/relaxation I read, whether it be sleep or lounging around. No, not because I'm bored, but because I find it to be a great relaxant.

Bit pointless whipping out a dictionary definition of entertainment presuming it will somehow give you an intellectual upper hand, because you know, through all this reading while on the shitter I may just have come across the word before.

That and your bolded section of the said definition could quite easily cover absolutely everything in life, including resting/sleeping...

Well, it seemed that we needed a reminder of what entertainment is. Aka most of us want to continuously surround ourselves with entertainment these days. Definitions become distorted over time. You are not a human dictionary and neither am I.

the last thing i want to do after taking a dump is to sit and breathe the vapors in.

I think I love you. No, not your shit, but you.
 
Nothing worse than those crushing toilet seats.... Sit on those bitches to long and your ass gets glued to them... Anyone else hate those seats?

soft-toilet-seat-weiche-klopbrille-weicher-toilettensitz-rodeway-inn-motel-hotel-page-arizona-usa-dscn6386.jpg
 
a guy i used to work with would take the newspaper to the men's room every morning. first, it was a disgusting tip-off that this co-worker was going to take a poo and second, it's disgusting he'd bring it back without considering that other people would like to read the paper without getting his fecal matter on their hands. *vom*

consider that when you flush the toilet tiny bits of what's in the toilet are sprayed outward several feet (and ahem, onto the reading material). then consider that you use one of your hands to wipe your butt and that hand likely then held the newspaper/book/phone when you were unlocking and exiting the stall. i mean, you probably even got all kinds of gross bacteria on the reading material via your hands upon entering and locking the stall... ew!

in other words - you people that sit on the toilet and read have poop all over your books!!
 
a guy i used to work with would take the newspaper to the men's room every morning. first, it was a disgusting tip-off that this co-worker was going to take a poo and second, it's disgusting he'd bring it back without considering that other people would like to read the paper without getting his fecal matter on their hands. *vom*

consider that when you flush the toilet tiny bits of what's in the toilet are sprayed outward several feet (and ahem, onto the reading material). then consider that you use one of your hands to wipe your butt and that hand likely then held the newspaper/book/phone when you were unlocking and exiting the stall. i mean, you probably even got all kinds of gross bacteria on the reading material via your hands upon entering and locking the stall... ew!

in other words - you people that sit on the toilet and read have poop all over your books!!

This is easily solved by putting the lid down.
 
a guy i used to work with would take the newspaper to the men's room every morning. first, it was a disgusting tip-off that this co-worker was going to take a poo and second, it's disgusting he'd bring it back without considering that other people would like to read the paper without getting his fecal matter on their hands. *vom*

consider that when you flush the toilet tiny bits of what's in the toilet are sprayed outward several feet (and ahem, onto the reading material). then consider that you use one of your hands to wipe your butt and that hand likely then held the newspaper/book/phone when you were unlocking and exiting the stall. i mean, you probably even got all kinds of gross bacteria on the reading material via your hands upon entering and locking the stall... ew!

in other words - you people that sit on the toilet and read have poop all over your books!!

Do you wash your face after every time you take a poop? If not think of all those poor bastards you kiss the rest of the day, poo face ;)
 
Whereas you are a paragon of virtue and as clean as an Angel.

thank you for taking notice. <3

This is easily solved by putting the lid down.

commercial toilets often do not have lids. but yes, putting the lid down will solve the poop spraying out of the toilet issue, but not the bacteria and fecal matter residing on your hands. and, i should have added this before, but smell is tiny airborne particles lodged in your nose. if it can get in your nose, it can get on a book!

Do you wash your face after every time you take a poop? If not think of all those poor bastards you kiss the rest of the day, poo face ;)

i am a lady and thus, i do not poop. (but if i did poop, it would probably be at a time when i was taking a shower directly after.)


*while, i'm mostly half-joking in my responses, this thread is really skeeving me out. :o
 
Agreed.
I can't stand a toilet seat with a hole that's too small.
It makes me feel like I need to attach a laser sight to my ass. :\
 
Agreed.
I can't stand a toilet seat with a hole that's too small.
It makes me feel like I need to attach a laser sight to my ass. :\


lol =D

Precision Feces Targeting Device (PFTD) would be the politically correct term. Any inventors on the forum? It's an untapped market...
 
consider that when you flush the toilet tiny bits of what's in the toilet are sprayed outward several feet (and ahem, onto the reading material).

I always close the lid before I flush.

Fawkes said:
then consider that you use one of your hands to wipe your butt and that hand likely then held the newspaper/book/phone when you were unlocking and exiting the stall.

I stop reading and put the book down just before I start wiping. I wipe with my right hand, then flush the toilet, then pull my pants up, then wash and dry my hands. If for some reason I can't wash before picking up the book again, I grab it with my left hand anyway.

Fawkes said:
i mean, you probably even got all kinds of gross bacteria on the reading material via your hands upon entering and locking the stall... ew!

I usually do the reading in the toilet at home, which is an awesome place. If I use a public bathroom I want to get out of there as quickly as possible.

Fawkes said:
you people that sit on the toilet and read have poop all over your books!!

But not inside them!
 
I used to read in the bog but found I'd get really in to what I was reading and spend way more time in there than necessary. So I stopped. But one thing I recommened, is putting something like a map on the back of the door or whatever you're staring at, I had a National Geographic map of Africa up there for a few months and learnt so much about the geography lol.
 
Yea, it's like this, except I don't sit there because of the privacy, I could get privacy in the house easily. I just find it a really great place to read.

I don't get it at all. What's so great about it? What about a comfy couch, a bed, a day bed in the sun room, outside on the lawn, anywhere but the toilet.........

A plastic col toilet seat is far from being the best place I can think of to sit down and read a book.

Each to their own though I suppose.
 
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