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reachout.

rewiiired

rewiiired

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 20, 2002
Messages
1,802
Location
Chair.
Dreamed of you again
you're still haunting me and now I see
that this situation may never end
you had a face on this time, like the last
but a different one, always a different one
and you hide the real one from me
or is it there, and I just can't break on through the fear?
is it there, and I just can't allow myself to see?

And why do I still dream you?
Did an inner quake loosen up shit from the bottom?
Why do I feel as if an itch has been scratched this morning?
Why do I feel this temporary widening, this temporary release?

Still, I just keep on drifitng back
to the salvaged peices of the dream,
thinking: if I could just reach out to you
thinking: if I could just reach out

Yet I felt detached, estranged,
like watching a movie, only occasioanlly pulled into the screen
seeing your shadow, your sioloutte,
through windows and the blur of shades,
the anxiety choking me every time as I
anticipate your entrance into the room,
watching the doorknob in fear
drowning in my silent hate and fear
unable to break through my reigns
ever stronger and thicker
the bars of my cage

thinking: if I could just reach out to you
thinking: if I could just reach out to beat you
to strangle you
to kill you as deeply
as you've killed me,

maybe I could finally feel closure
maybe I could put an end
to these bad dreams.
 
Last edited:
rewiiired said:
Yet I felt detached, estranged,
like watching a movie, only occasioanlly pulled into the screen
seeing your shadow, your sioloutte,
through windows and the blur of shades,
the anxiety choking me every time as I
anticipate your entrance into the room,
watching the doorknob in fear
drowning in my silent hate and fear
unable to break through my reigns
ever stronger and thicker
the bars of my cage
Click to expand...

I can relate to this: Awesome Poem: :)
 
Still, I just keep on drifitng back
to the salvaged peices of the dream,
thinking: if I could just reach out to you
thinking: if I could just reach out
Click to expand...


most often times we regret the moves we should have made
this could not put it more clearly.

hope you work it out ,,,, good luck!
 
rewiiired said:
thinking: if I could just reach out to you
thinking: if I could just reach out to beat you
to strangle you
to kill you as deeply
as you've killed me,
Click to expand...

Loved the whole thing. I thought this stanza was especially powerful
 
maybe you could
Click to expand...

Reach out and kill him? No, I couldn't -- because at least mentally, I recognize that doing something of such horrible and extreme measures to this man would make me a hypocrate. I realise, in my mind, that fighting fire with fire only feeds the fire; that there is no logic in becoming the enemy in order to defeat him. And I know well that with my desire to hurt him as he hurt them and through them, me, a part of me is too much like him already, and that to submit to my thirst for vengeance would be to let his ghost possess me, as opposed to it presently haunting me. I often find myself wondering how much of how I percieve him -- remember him, that is, in dreams and memories -- is who he really is and how much of it is just a part of me I've divorced myself from.

But emotionally, I want to literally reach out, torture him, and end his life. That scares me.

It seems like I'm divided in regards to everything nowadays, and that there is no means of synthesis.
 
well maybe he deserves to die...

in any case you probably shouldn't kill him, i was talking about killing the dream-man not the u.s. citizen-man.
 
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