seanspicer
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2017
- Messages
- 1
Hello,
Looking to make a few friends here who might also classify themselves as functional drug addicts.
"Functional" always becomes unstable when you do a tolerance break.
I'm wondering how best to see if I fit here...
I'll start with a currently list (this is pretty stable, now but i'll update if it is needed):
venlafaxine, vyvanse, lorazepam, apripriprozole(!), lsd, cannabis (vaped with ~80% cartridges), nicorette gum, coffee.
I have some moderate experience in the past with:
methamphetamine & heroin (best time of my life during the worst time of my life, my personal jesus)
other antidepressants (including "california rocket fuel")
I have limited experience with:
Pretty much everything (e.g., even steroids) except mdma.
I have a problem with adhd and depression. I'm also attempting a career change, this means I need focus learning new things.
You might be able to see a pattern between what I'm taking and where I'm at in life.
Before I start a rundown of what I'm currently taking:
I did not know what "focus" was until I met meth, I did not know what clam and energetic emotional contentment was until I met meth (note this means I actually have a medical condition adhd, I've heard/read/know the common reaction to meth is an agitated psychosis-like state). Alas, the negative effects of meth withdrawal are the same with or without adhd - it is not maintainable (see vyvanse below).
I did not know what it is to be truly without anxiety until I met heroin. I mean all of the pressures of the world, self-doubt, worries about the future, anything that provokes anxiety is gone. It is the most relaxed you can possibly be. Heroin is not maintainable (see cannabis below).
venlafaxine was started due to suicidal thoughts - suicidal thoughts went away (it's hard to say it was due to the ven, antidepressants are very subtle).
apripriprozole was started due to intense emotions - i'm a sensitive person and get very emotional, the antipsychotic has helped tone down my emotional instability.
vyvanse was started because I knew I needed a stimulant - the meth made me calm, let me sit still, read, learn. It also helps with my depression much more noticeably than antidepressants. The vyvanse is not as clean as the meth.
lorazepam was started because I wake up with a rapid heart beat and sweats - it helps a bit. this is one of the necessary battles of someone trying to function on stimulants.
nicorette gum was started because I've read that nicotine helps thinking - I can't tell the difference but I do pop gum into my mouth ~10x/day. I've read that just the physical act of chewing helps the brain so that might be some of it.
coffee was started for the same reasons as nicorette gum - after tolerance, coffee has a slight noticeable effect but I'm only at 1x in the morning 1x in the afternoon.
cannabis was started because I need to relax - think of it like this: if vyvanse makes me calm, cannabis slows my brain down. Like a sentence, being able to concentrate on every single word in the sentence to determine it's significance (or think a math equation). Another way to put this is, cannabis gives me *patience*. I try limit vaping to 2-3 times a day, even then the tolerance makes my patience go away in about an hour
.
Because of tolerance issues I try not to take vyvanse and cannabis on the weekends. Instead I switch to microdosing lsd. I just started and it seems microdosed lsd has a more subtle effect on mood than vyvanse. I'm still tired from the vyanase withdrawal but I don't feel like shit.
Looking to make a few friends here who might also classify themselves as functional drug addicts.
"Functional" always becomes unstable when you do a tolerance break.
I'm wondering how best to see if I fit here...
I'll start with a currently list (this is pretty stable, now but i'll update if it is needed):
venlafaxine, vyvanse, lorazepam, apripriprozole(!), lsd, cannabis (vaped with ~80% cartridges), nicorette gum, coffee.
I have some moderate experience in the past with:
methamphetamine & heroin (best time of my life during the worst time of my life, my personal jesus)
other antidepressants (including "california rocket fuel")
I have limited experience with:
Pretty much everything (e.g., even steroids) except mdma.
I have a problem with adhd and depression. I'm also attempting a career change, this means I need focus learning new things.
You might be able to see a pattern between what I'm taking and where I'm at in life.
Before I start a rundown of what I'm currently taking:
I did not know what "focus" was until I met meth, I did not know what clam and energetic emotional contentment was until I met meth (note this means I actually have a medical condition adhd, I've heard/read/know the common reaction to meth is an agitated psychosis-like state). Alas, the negative effects of meth withdrawal are the same with or without adhd - it is not maintainable (see vyvanse below).
I did not know what it is to be truly without anxiety until I met heroin. I mean all of the pressures of the world, self-doubt, worries about the future, anything that provokes anxiety is gone. It is the most relaxed you can possibly be. Heroin is not maintainable (see cannabis below).
venlafaxine was started due to suicidal thoughts - suicidal thoughts went away (it's hard to say it was due to the ven, antidepressants are very subtle).
apripriprozole was started due to intense emotions - i'm a sensitive person and get very emotional, the antipsychotic has helped tone down my emotional instability.
vyvanse was started because I knew I needed a stimulant - the meth made me calm, let me sit still, read, learn. It also helps with my depression much more noticeably than antidepressants. The vyvanse is not as clean as the meth.
lorazepam was started because I wake up with a rapid heart beat and sweats - it helps a bit. this is one of the necessary battles of someone trying to function on stimulants.
nicorette gum was started because I've read that nicotine helps thinking - I can't tell the difference but I do pop gum into my mouth ~10x/day. I've read that just the physical act of chewing helps the brain so that might be some of it.
coffee was started for the same reasons as nicorette gum - after tolerance, coffee has a slight noticeable effect but I'm only at 1x in the morning 1x in the afternoon.
cannabis was started because I need to relax - think of it like this: if vyvanse makes me calm, cannabis slows my brain down. Like a sentence, being able to concentrate on every single word in the sentence to determine it's significance (or think a math equation). Another way to put this is, cannabis gives me *patience*. I try limit vaping to 2-3 times a day, even then the tolerance makes my patience go away in about an hour
. Because of tolerance issues I try not to take vyvanse and cannabis on the weekends. Instead I switch to microdosing lsd. I just started and it seems microdosed lsd has a more subtle effect on mood than vyvanse. I'm still tired from the vyanase withdrawal but I don't feel like shit.
