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Re-awakened

Squeaks

Squeaks

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 29, 1999
Messages
2,837
Location
Northeast Pennsylvania
I looked at myself in the mirror today
For the first time in a long time I did not see a beer bottle or a shot of liquor
I saw something that I havent seen in over a year
I got this feeling inside of me I havent felt in sooo long
Will this feeling last?
Will this change fade away?
I fear returning to work
I fear turning into a beer bottle again.
*Passes by mirror again to make sure*
NO beer bottle at the moment
All I see are stars
I'm alive
*Take a breath*
I'm alive
*Take a deep breath*
I have become re-awakened
This past year has been an endless coma
Stuck in a never changing rut
*Take a drink*
Do I blame my work?
*Take a big drink*
Do I blame my friends?
*take a drink*
No guns where held up to my head to make me drink
I wasnt tied up and shoved shots in my face
Then what was it that made me return over and over to a depressing lifestyle?
Enough is enough
I can only blame myself
Lets just hope that the stars never go dim
For those people this past weekend who have awakened me. You dont know how much this has meant to me. Please help me to stay in the Stars by keeping in contact with me and dragging my ass off to parties otherwise I fear that the beer bottle will eventually return.
 
we all have a weak spot.
determining what that weak spot is, and working to overcome it, shows character, strength, and deserves to be commended.
i met you 3 years ago, at your first party. i thought you were an incredible person, and this weekend reinforced that vision of you. if you need someone to kidnap you for a weekend, you are more than welcome to come hang with me and frosty. we luv ya. me casa is you casa. (?spanish?)
 
Take some good advice from NVR, Never Give up,
Much Peace
[ 12 June 2002: Message edited by: nvr2old ]
 
Sweetie, anytime you have the urge, just call me..
This is a very touchy subject for me, and I have been with another person, down this path before.
It's never easy to stop something, that is very controlling... your mind.
And alot of people believe the more you drink the more you forget, and ya maybe for alittle while, I guess it all depends on the company around you..but just remember there are people who do care about you out there. And that is more important than losing you live, to the bottle, because you lose what you gave to your friends.
We all have these damn problems that exist in our lives, and we all have are own way of dealing with them, but just remember that we all fill these certain voids in peoples life, and when you need a hand the is always one to hold.
HugZ*
 
YAH MAN THANKS AGAIN FOR THE BULB SESSION! IM STILL FEELIN IT!
You are a really nice, fun, kick ass dood! DOnt be so down man, if you believe and ur strong enough, u can overcome anything.
Hope ta see ya in the future!!!!
-WoOd
 
Its not really me thats down its the fact that I have theese non-BL friends who are totally not like the BL'ers I party with. They are true friends and care about me so its not like they are shaddy or anything like that. Its just I cant relate to them as much as I do BL'ers. All drugs put aside and all. I mean I do party with them they way I party with the BL crew at some levels but its the fact that I dont need drugs to have fun with BL'ers and my friends all think I need drugs whenever I am with them. I never get calls for invites to movies or shit. Its allways calls to go to the bar or club or some shit. Its just a frustraing situation. I tried to get my best friend to come to the BL meetup and he passed on the deal. Maybe I just have to get them to meet you guys. I think they get jealous though and thats why they allways shoot my offers down. Its not the partying because they can party just like rockstars as well. Drives me absolutly batty.
I seem to do the same exact bar thign every night with them like I am stuck in a loop. When its the only way to get to see them I reluctantly give in though.(we work way too much lol)
Thanx for the caring words though. I dont know if the e-pression right now or what.
 
bumping this... because you're in my thoughts today, and i'm worried as fuck about you.
 
man, I think I've spoken to every friend you have and they are all worried about you very much. Please get back to us ASAP.
Never give up, there are so many people who care about you!
 
thanx guys for caring sooo much I am fine I ended up sleeping all day and my phone was dead so I didnt hear anyone call I am home now. A bit tired and thirsty but no negative effects otherwise. I dont know what my probl;em is with psychs once I start I cant stop eating them like candy and amt isnt something to just keep popping like I did
I ended up missing work today :( keep your fingers crossed that I still have a job to go to in the morning
 
you're lucky you're alive.
but when i see you, i'm gonna kill you.
(just so you know)
i love u squeakers. i dont want anything to happen to you b/c of your own stupidity!
who else will go into the sterling with me!
 
squeaks
I don't have words to help you I wish I did, you know people love you very much.
Just know you have the strength and you just have to find the faith within yourself.
love you hun !
 
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