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  • AADD Moderators: swilow | Vagabond696

rape

macksta, up all night, and jimity are all arguing a point which im not sure they have the right to. maybe they do maybe they don't.

kyrstal, sorry about whats happend to you. i havent felt sad for a long time, but your little blurb made me feel a bit different. maybe its because your a bl'er.

anyway.... is there any bluelighter here that actually is a girl, who chases the tyical footy player for sex. can this person provide a perspective on the thrills, the do's and don'ts, the limits they have etc...

the reason that i ask this, is because i think that there have to be some girls out there that love the multi-sex thing.

there's got to be the ones out there that would like to try it but dont have the guts to so to speak.

and theres got to be the ones out there that make out like they would like to but when it comes to the crunch they probably are not really cut out for it and have other issues which are covered up in polygyamy. (my armchair physcology...)

for all the different cases, im sure each girl has their ''limits'' as to what is acceptable and what is not. im sure each girl here has different standards as to their sexual expereiences with people.

such a complicated issue.
 
It is important for rape victims to come forward, even though the person only usually gets a few months to a year behind bars, it makes it easier for other victims to bring up charges and harder for the person to continue with that kind of stuff.

I know someone who was, but managed to pull things together with counciling and self-defence classes. Its not easy though, and the crime deserves a much higher penelty. It appears to be very common in the US.
 
papermate: I'm a chick. And I've been sexually assaulted [admittedly not in a situation similar to this NRL rape allegation]. Why don't I have the right to have an opinion on this issue?

There are definitely women who love 'the multi-sex' thing. I'm not really sure what point you're trying to make?

Macksta: I agree with most of what you're saying. My problem with your original post was the suggestion that this is a widespread epidemic amongst the football community. The smh article you provided the link to mentions that it does happen but not that it's necessarily a widespread thing [or even a problem]. It was more a cautionary tale of what can happen in group sex situations.
The Australian article on the other hand is a different story. I thought players had relatively tight training shedules? I thought over the weekends they were travelling to and from games? When do they get the time for all this partying and yet still manage to stay in shape? If anyone knows anything about First Grade football I'd love to hear what they have to say.

If there was regular rapes/ assaults I would assume we would have heard a little more about it before now. It's strange that this ex-Super League player is only now stating his disgust at the situation and calling for reforms [how long has Super League been dead for?] It definitely gave me something to think about but the word of one player is not going to change my opinion.

I have no doubt that some football stars enjoy gang bangs and whatever else tickles their fancy [just as plenty of non-football playing people do]. If I had many beautiful women throwing themselves at me I probably would make the most of the oppurtunity as well. And personally, I think if the players want to fuck prostitutes or pick up women in bars despite the fact they have wives/ girlfriends then that's a personal decision they make and I don't really believe we're in a position to judge them. Your comments about the players being rolemodels and therefore shouldn't participate in group sex I believe is unfair.
I mean fark, If you were a middle aged parent , would you want your little kid to idolise these league players who openly and unashamedly participate in group orgies with scrags.

The point is they're NOT advertising this fact... if it is indeed going on then it's been kept very well hidden. Not even their wives and girlfriends are aware of this [or if they are they're turning a blind eye]. What grown men do in their spare time should not be open for public inspection. These men play FOOTBALL, they weren't hired because of their angelic qualities.

Basically, neither of us are part of the community in question and the fact we get our information from news articles shows how little we know about the situation.
 
sorry upallnight, i misread the people who posted. sincerly apologies. 8(

the point that i was making a point about was girls who go looking for multiple sexual encounters NOT that rapist, or people who have been the subject of such actions.
 
Up all night:

My conclusion that gang banging is prevalent in Rugby League does not come from that particular SMH article, rather Im drawing it from the admissions from the bulldogs players themselves to the SMH that it is quite common in the code, the admission of other recent incidents involving a middle aged woman:

"The first player has confessed to his wife and he is still trying to salvage his marriage. The Bulldogs club fined all three players for their involvement with the woman, although it accepted their insistence that any sex was consensual."

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/03/07/1078594238099.html

And a bunch of other articles Ive read around the place from former players and players wives that all seem to confirm this thing is not uncommon.

Im also not suggesting regular rapes or assaults DO occur, and I dont see it strange that the super league era player has chosen to comment now. Obviously he's chosen to comment now because at the moment the subject is splattered across the news headlines. The timing of his comments or the fact he played in the super league era dont really reduce his credibility imo, rather they show it's something that has gone on for a while now and maybe become institutionalised .

To be fair I never used the phrase 'widespread epidemic'.

Its also a fair enough comment that what people do in their private lives should remain private, and it all comes down to a matter of personal opinion I suppose. Id judge poorly a guy if he were to cheat on you whilst you were together, so I'll judge some footballer who cheats on his wife and kid at home. The fact that I don't personally know some of the people involved really doesnt enter into the equation for me.

I understand your argument that there isn't really anything wrong with what is going on, that it's a private matter and what they do under the bedsheets off the field should not be open for inspection. But then the fact no one in the code or the Bulldogs is running this line of defence makes me wonder how well it would stand up under public scrutiny.
 
Reading back over our last two replies I've come to realise just how far off topic we are. This thread is about rape with specific reference to the NRL allegation and yet we've turned this into an argument about the culture of rugby league and the morality of its players.

In the end it comes down to the fact that you seem to care, or at least have an opinion on the indiscretions of the football players while I believe it's an issue that should be left behind closed doors. However, if they are convicted of rape then I think the public has the right to know.

And that's pretty much all there is to it.
 
I thought the thread was about rape in general and people's experiences and opinions. I haven't even mentioned the NRL in my post.

Confused.
 
It is. I don't see why you're confused? Macksta and I just got sidetracked on what is really quite an insignificant point. :)
 
the point i was trying to make was the matter of perspective from both the female and the male point of view.

There is one thing that will definately come out of this issue that I feel is dissapointing. And thats our right to choose . Foremostly i would like to agree that should any person be responsible for any sexual assualts or any form of harrassment then they should be dealt the appropiate penalty and or rehabilitation.

However, I think it needs to be said that the huge media coverage and to a certain extent the sensationalism of this issue will undermine certain values that we will probably miss in the future.

The reasoning is that this issue and alot of other different issues that recieve huge amounts of publicity there is almost always a blanket ban or a sledgehammer approach to solving the issue. Policies, proceedures or legislation is introduced to specifically stop the re-occurance of such issues.

Specifically with the NRL, I understand that its now club policy that no girl are allowed back, and to be honest thats a pleasure that I would like to have if I was a single footy player.

Regarding another situations such as the smoking policies that are going around for resturants. My belief is that if you dont want to go to a smoking (or separated smoking/non smoking resturatnt) because of people smoking - then dont go. But if you want to go and have a smoking resturant you should have the right to operate one, let alone attend one if you so choose. But you cant, because its the law. Why - because there have been individuals cases highlighted by the media that have spurred the clamp down on smoking restrictions.


In regards to illict drugs, im sure we are all aware of all the restrictions there are on the possesion and use of substances - and im positive that there is a great majority here at Bluelight that could argue that the law doesn't provide a just point of view. Its blanket ban, its hard line is not the solution to managing the drug issue this country (world) has. Everytime there is a big bust, or someone fucks up on ecstasy the papers have a field day, and the general public gets a distorted impression of the true situation. From that impression i think that we get laws which dont provide the best solution.

Now unfortuately i think there is a fundamental probem with all the above reasoning. I dont think that there is any legal/social system in the world, let alone australia that has the resources or the capacity to provide a better solution. There is too much money in too many areas to think that it would be focused on producing a Utopian society where common sense and justice would be paramount.

now hows that for off topic.
8)
 
Brother's friend is in remand at the moment for "Americian Histroy X" style punishment (Teeth on gutter, kick to back of the head) on someone he caught trying to rape his female friend. The guy is in ICU I hope he makes it so my bros friend doesn't go down for murder.
 
^ I don't understand that at all. Why does injuring/ killing a rapist make someone a better person than the guy who tried to rape the girl? They're both disgusting acts but I have zero respect for people who believe that it's 'okay' to assault someone [especially in that fashion].
 
"Two wrongs don't make a right"

and people who think they do have no place in society. x2shy, I hope your brothers mate does time, because he deserves to.
 
^^^ it's a difficult situation. whilst i *totally* agree with the sentiment in the two posts above, i also think that the such things might be re-assessed if ever confronted with the situation.

though i'd *never* ever go the lengths of the american history-x style of assault (and that i'm quite sure of), could i reasonably say that i would restrain myself if i found someone raping (or attempting to rape) a good friend of mine?

i would hope that i'd restrain myself and allow the relevant authorities to deal with the situation...but i'd be angry, obviously, and sometimes things get out of control. i just hope that i could deal with the situation in the proper manner, but i just don't things are quite so easy as they might seem.

rape sucks. it's just one of those horrible things that no one seems to be able to imagine anyone doing, but is somehow so majorley prevalent. punishment for it really needs to be a helluva lot harsher than it is, imo.

and kke (and everyone else who has experienced similar situations): :( i'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through that :( <3
 
its easy to say that right now u wouldnt retaliate with violence against a rapist, but if put on the spot in that position, u might snap.... and there is no way of telling what u would do, until u are (god forbid) actually put in that situation.....

rape is a crime worse than murder in that the victim actually has to live with the physical and psychological effects, which also have far reaching effects on family / friends of the victim....

a family that my family are close friends with used to have a daughter who was gang raped after school in year 8..... she suffered for 9 months, slipping deeper and deeper into psychological hell, until she jumped in front of a train..... this sent her mum into depression which took her 4 years to get over, at which point her husband decided it was safe for him to kill himself.... starting the spiral all over again

the bastards who did it have never been caught, and whilst i would like to say that if i ever somehow came across them, i would let the police deal with it, i think the far more likely option is that i would be calling the brothers of the girl who was raped, and administering our own form of justice.....

btw kryalkastleE, i am so sorry to hear that.... i never knew.... i saw firsthand just how bad it can get regarding the psychological issues with my family friends, i must say u are dealing with it exceptionally well
:D :D :D
 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
it happened a few years ago, and i didnt deal with it too well until i spoke to someone who told me to "not let some shitty disgusting person ruin my life" and i decided right then and there to strive to be everything that i wanted to be NO MATTER WHAT, that this disgusting person was not going to even be a part of my thoughts unless it was to help someone else in discussing my situation.

the only advice i can give about this, is that you cant let it ruin your life, its a shitty thing but you cant mope around hoping for someone to feel sorry for you, you need to get the fucker charged (if u can) and move on......the 'power' of rape i think, is that one person can fuck someone up so much by dominating them physically AND mentally. you cant help the physical thing if you're a girl (no matter who many of those self defense classes they teach you in year 9) because it doesnt protect you against drink spiking etc. so don't let the person dominate you mentally, be tough and be strong, and dont let it ruin your life....
my heart goes out to anyone that has been through this....xox
 
If rape disgusts you, and you're decent with computers, I found this site today which gives you the opportunity to hunt pedos in your spare time... Im seriously considering becoming a volunteer there.
 
*bump*

Cleared of all charges and yet I have no doubt the mud will still stick to the bulldogs. It's situations like this that make me so angry the media have the right to publicise that sort of information.
 
Hey jakoz! That site looks cool. I'd love to help bust mofos who exploit kids. Rape is bad, but the worst human act of violence? I don't think so, now if you fuck with kids I won't worry about restraint or justifacation. I'll start putting bullet holes in people without a second thought.

I too used to think that violence is never justafiable, but in all honesty if someone fucks with my kid they will die a painful, gruesome death. No apologies.
 
media should always have the right to publicise. the fact that there was publicity about it means that there were issues that needed to be addressed. Not neccessarliy issues that the Bulldogs were guilty of any beheaviour, but perhaps the consequences of false allegations. Perhaps there were really issues about the footy/female mentanality.

But i do agree that the way it was publicised was pathetic.
 
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