i am not a prize to be won. or a prize to be conquered. i find it absurd that people are talking to me about me and guys like it is a game. i don't give a shit if people gossip behind my back.
i know my breakup with unglued is somewhat odd. i know moving back in with vgoraz makes it even odder. i know that remaining friends with fucktwat has people guessing. i know that unglued and another girl traveling to see each other makes for good gossip. and i realize that many people have learned of most of these details over the last several weeks and most of them didn't realize how much of this has played out behind the scenes for quite awhile.
but if i didn't want to discuss my personal life with you in the past. and you are find this crap out thru gossip. why in the world would i want to talk to you about stuff now. i've gotten bizarre comments like "i bet XXX that you are going to end up with fucktwat or vgoraz. unglued is the longshot" or "vgoraz must really like you. i hope he wins and you two are together". wtf? even my mother has made comments that amongst my family, they are taking guesses about who i end up with.
right now, all i want to do is have fun. that might involve messing around with various people. that might involve taking random trips to alaska. that might involve not looking for a job and going out for fancy lunches with friends. that might involve going to punk folk rock shows mc'ed my the (former? i think the band broke up...) singer for chumbawamba. that might involve playing pub trivia as the only girl on the guys night out team (i have a firm handshake, so i can stay according to my one friend).
privately, i am also talking lots to unglued. talking lots to vgoraz and a few other people i trust. working thru a range of emotions and trying to sort out what is going on. right now, unglued and i are getting along great. but we both realize the distance is part of why we are getting along so well.
i know my breakup with unglued is somewhat odd. i know moving back in with vgoraz makes it even odder. i know that remaining friends with fucktwat has people guessing. i know that unglued and another girl traveling to see each other makes for good gossip. and i realize that many people have learned of most of these details over the last several weeks and most of them didn't realize how much of this has played out behind the scenes for quite awhile.
but if i didn't want to discuss my personal life with you in the past. and you are find this crap out thru gossip. why in the world would i want to talk to you about stuff now. i've gotten bizarre comments like "i bet XXX that you are going to end up with fucktwat or vgoraz. unglued is the longshot" or "vgoraz must really like you. i hope he wins and you two are together". wtf? even my mother has made comments that amongst my family, they are taking guesses about who i end up with.
right now, all i want to do is have fun. that might involve messing around with various people. that might involve taking random trips to alaska. that might involve not looking for a job and going out for fancy lunches with friends. that might involve going to punk folk rock shows mc'ed my the (former? i think the band broke up...) singer for chumbawamba. that might involve playing pub trivia as the only girl on the guys night out team (i have a firm handshake, so i can stay according to my one friend).
privately, i am also talking lots to unglued. talking lots to vgoraz and a few other people i trust. working thru a range of emotions and trying to sort out what is going on. right now, unglued and i are getting along great. but we both realize the distance is part of why we are getting along so well.
