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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Random MSN Gibberings LXI: "The Gringo that every girl wants"

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Aw chinup.. I reckon just have a chat with her rather than printing anything out, the latter might come across as being a bit aggressive even though I know that's not why you're doing it! I'm rubbish at having discussions about stuff like that too so I'd be tempted to just print something out but I reckon it's far more likely to go well if you have a chat.. maybe make her a cuppa and say that she's lovely and overall you've enjoyed having her move in but you just wondered if she'd mind if her boyfriend wasn't over every night because you feel the house isn't big enough for 4, and they are waking you.. If it was me and someone said it to me like that I'd immediately get what they were saying and take it on board. Probs hasn't even occurred to her that it's a problem (hopefully!) Maybe decide how many days would be okay and not taking the piss, and say its okay every other day, or at weekends, or whatever so she knows exactly what the groundrules are? The hardest thing I found when moving in with strangers was knowing what is okay or not, it really helps if they are explained to you so you know you're not accidentally pissing them off :)

Good luck with the DEXA scan, I've got my fingers crossed!

<3

Mornin EADD, I just slept from yesterday morning til now, am a little baffled! Also feel like I had my day stolen from me and have pissed off a mate who'd cooked me dinner and was wondering where I was yesterday. Ooooops. Also, now I am awake at 7 on a day off work. And I'm starving!
 
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Oh Chinup. Spare a thought for your boyfriend's bladder. Not to mention his suffering at the hands of a Satanic biological mechanism in order to jolt him from his bed at that ungodly hour.

Then you might see how the Apostles were necessarily chosen from men in order that they may have better empathy for the sufferings of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

But also, on the non-bullshit front ...

... it's beautiful out there this morning. At least it is here anyway. Good morning one and all.
 
effie you're right. however, i do need to do a rental agreement with her anyway, and it is going to state that no one else is allowed to live in her room and she needs permission for visitors staying 2 or more consecutive nights (this is actually far more relaxed than the template the agreements based on, which says overnight guests once a month). thats mostly cos now i need to know if she's having visitors whod stay on the sofa bed as there's not space for us to both have them at once.

but yeah i should probably just discuss it with them tonight and explain i could hear them every night and it does impact on my sleep. it sounds stupid but i kind of wish he wasn't a student so i could just say that he is putting our council tax status at risk, or anything other than me getting arsey and telling her what to do and who to have in her own home.

edit- sam he was snoring within 2 minutes of getting back to bed so i have no sympathy!!!
 
If you need to give her one anyway then that's good :) but I think a lot of people don't take every detail in their rental agreement seriously so you might need to talk to her about it.. just explain you really don't mind him staying over sometimes but explain about the sleep thing and say something about house not big enough for 4 and thats why you didnt look for a couple to move in or something.. sadly people who don't have sleep issues often don't understand how horrendous it is not being able to sleep. I had a nightmare at Uni, I can't sleep if there's any noise at all so you can imagine how bad it was in my halls! People who don't have that problem just think you're being ridiculous, tis v frustrating. Hopefully tho if she is lovely she will understand :)

Just say you're happy for him to be round in the day, and stay over x amount of nights/at weekends/whatever you are okay with, but you need your sleep + space is an issue (even if its not, this is a way to make it not just about sleep) so it can't be every night. Am sure it will be okay :)

Good luck! <3

edit: just ate 5 chewy vit C tablets cos they tasted so nice (am still half asleep haha), looked at the back and each one had 833% of my RDA! Thankfully its water soluble and can't really overdose unless you eat a million of them but am a little concerned about my poor kidneys having to filter all that out, oops!
 
morning all,smoking a rolly while waiting for ze lady to hurry the fuck up in the shower! lol, gotta be working today but its all good, have muchos goodies to keep me entertained, i dont think my mate will make it after all :(
 
well, space genuinely is an issue and its why i told her he couldn't move in. she's complained about lack of it in the fridge even though it was less than half full when she moved in. i really don't need encouragement not to buy food right now. plus, if it she only had food for one in there....

my basic feeling is that though she is nice and probably wouldn't ever do anything intentionally annoying, it doesn't really occur to her to consider other people. i told her she absolutely could not come and drop stuff off at 9.30 last friday, it was our last night of freedom basically. she did anyway cos she had a key but didn't arrive til 12, totally ruining our plans. she then moved more stuff in unannounced on sunday night, just after my boyf had gone to bed, making him tired for work on monday. she also nearly got assaulted, as is natural for an unexpected visitor in this part of the world.

subconsciously she must know that its a bit cheeky to take a room on the basis that its for her use only and move someone else in.

and yeah, people who don't understand sleep problems can be incredibly insensitive. even my boyf, who has them occasionally.

edit- well am trying to think of any way of wussing out of doing this face to face, partly cos i'm scared it will end up a confrontation. do you think i could just e-mail her the agreement and ask her to read it and let me know if she's happy with all the terms? then the onus is on her to be honest with me about her intentions regarding her boyfriend living here.
 
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Hmm, complaining about the fridge already doesn't sound good, when I moved in with people I didnt know my housemate had the freezer entirely full with her stupid frozen fish and chips and shit and I didn't dare say anything the whole time I was there haha! Obv that's silly but complaining immediately when the fridge is for 3 people and wasn't even half full is a bit rude imo..

I've known a lot of lovely people who really don't think about the consequences their actions might be having on others.. they tend to to be really chilled easy going peeps who aren't bothered by anything at all, which is lovely for them, but a little tricky for others with plans/responsibilities/poor sleep patterns!

Sounds like you need to sit her down for a chat. I'd just explain that a) its a small place b) sound really travels and you have really bad sleep probs and you'd really appreciate it if she was quiet after so-and-so time and her boyf only stayed over so-and-so nights. Maybe say that at weekends you like to let your hair down etc or something along those lines so she knows you aren't just a super strict landlady? Not that you are at all, but it sounds like you two have quite different perspectives on a few things so you dont want her jumping to the wrong conclusions.

Haha am writing essays sorry! Just awake too early for my own good with nothing to do! Let us know how it goes, I really feel your pain.. tis really hard living with people you don't know especially if you have different lifestyles/attitudes. My home is my refuge, would drive me insane having someone a little insensitive move in.. but hopefully if you can have a chat early on and lay down the ground rules it will all be okay, she probs just doesn't realise as you said. It's good that overall she is lovely, I reckon you can work it out :)
 
yeah, well hopefully she falls in the chilled and easy going category. she's from southern india, i've only ever properly met 2 other southern indians but they were well chilled.

and yeah, i don't want to be super strict. i want her to do what she likes and have this be as homely as possible with her. but if her home has to have her boyfriend living in it, she shouldn't have moved in. i made it clear at the start so am justified in sticking to my guns, espcecially when i'm paying some of HIS bills too.

i'm by no means the perfect house mate. there will be the odd night when i get in totally wrecked at 6 am, make noise for the next few hours, and fill the house with smoke (she had a lung removed so its not good for her), so I don't expect perfection. just the one housemate i agreed to have.
 
yeah, well hopefully she falls in the chilled and easy going category. she's from southern india, i've only ever properly met 2 other southern indians but they were well chilled.

and yeah, i don't want to be super strict. i want her to do what she likes and have this be as homely as possible with her. but if her home has to have her boyfriend living in it, she shouldn't have moved in. i made it clear at the start so am justified in sticking to my guns, espcecially when i'm paying some of HIS bills too.

i'm by no means the perfect house mate. there will be the odd night when i get in totally wrecked at 6 am, make noise for the next few hours, and fill the house with smoke (she had a lung removed so its not good for her), so I don't expect perfection. just the one housemate i agreed to have.

cheeky as fuck, get the bf to pay a quarter of the bills if he is to live there,even temporarily, extra money is nice :)
 
Definitely, that's another good point, you can't afford to cover his leccy use etc.. You def are justified, I am sure if you explain your position to her it will all be fine :)

No one is a perfect housemate! I certainly wasn't, I had mates back all night getting wrecked at weekends and regularly got home messy at daft times and have a fondness for gabba (and loud speakers) - and certainly didn't complain if my housemates did similar things or had friends to stay at the weekend..

BUT it really bugged me when they made noise all night on a weeknight when I'd explained when I moved in that I had to be up early and my work was demanding, and that I didnt want to move in somewhere where it would be hard for me to sleep during the week, and they said it wouldn't be a problem.. they were all students and genuinely didn't think about it I reckon but unfortunately I was mostly too much of a chicken to say anything. They were a little scary and turned out to be dicks who still owe me a lot of money, but that's by the by. Your housemate sounds nice and approachable. Am sure she will appreciate you wanting her to feel at home but that her behaviour's not been what she agreed to, and will think a little more in the future :)

Hope work goes quick BCF, jealous of your stoned-ness, really fancy a spliff! Also yay for your advert :D
 
●You get them to sign the agreement before they move in.
●Unless drawn up by a solicitor and constituting nearly 50 pages, most ain't worth the piece of paper they're written on anyways.

●better start spitting in that milk bottle
 
●Unless drawn up by a solicitor and constituting nearly 50 pages, most ain't worth the piece of paper they're written on anyways.

i'm not prepared to do a legally binding one anyway, got stuck living with a psychopath that way. this will just be an informal mutual understanding, but ultimately i will have the upper hand as i can throw her out anytime (which, by the way, i wouldn't unless she did something awful).

anyway, glad i'm not just being an arsehole. its hard to tell sometimes whether you're being reaosnable about this stuff

sorry you had to endure that effie. not fun. my final year house + stint with the psycho was like that. in the final year it was mostly down to one person, who no one from that house will speak to now. this is also why i wont do a legally binding contract!!!

well, off for my scan now. she really can't cock it up today.

have a good day all of you. hopefully by the time i next log on i will have had a nice nap and will be less of a mardy cow.
 
Good luck with the scan!

Decided I may as well have a gabba morning as am awake with nothing to do (and I live alone haha) tis pretty awesome, considering another nap now tho.. ridiculous. More gabba should keep me awake.
 
Good luck with the scan!

Decided I may as well have a gabba morning as am awake with nothing to do (and I live alone haha) tis pretty awesome, considering another nap now tho.. ridiculous. More gabba should keep me awake.

GABBA MORNINGS FOR THE WIN!!

stick on some hellfish :P
 
Whitehouse and Swans are excellent as far as keeping housemates at a respectful distance.

It can also help truncate those awfully forced moments in the morning where you're obliged to exchange expecially forced pleasantries with a person with whom you find it hard work to exchange pleasantries with at the best of times. Let's call my housemate 'S' and give an example from when I was listening to Swans:

SG: Uh... morning.
S: Morniiiiiiing how are yooooooouuuu?

Michael Gira ov Swans said:
IIIIIIIII ammmmm a daaaaaaangerous maaaaaaan!

SG: Not bad, not bad...
S: Good. <long pause> Anything exciting planned?

Michael Gira ov Swans said:
I love a chiiiiiillllllllld! I love a beeeeeaaaaaaaauuuuutiful child!

SG: Erm... not really. You?
S: Not much. What's that you're listening to?
SG: Oh erm... nothing much.

Michael Gira ov Swans said:
I will KILL THE CHILD! KILL THE CHILD!

S: It sounds quite intense and dark...
SG: Um... yeah.
S: Are you feeling okay?

Michael Gira ov Swans said:
This is my only regret! That I ever was born! This is my only regret! That I ever was booooorrrrn!

SG: <grinning profusely> Of course! <shuffles off to fill a glass with juice before returning to a dusty room>
S: <slightly troubled stare> Okay...

Never fails. ;)
 
Aha SG (makes me think of suicide girls for some reason) that's ace.. gotta love scaring randoms you live with. Not sure what mine thought of my taste for gabba..

BCF, hellfish on at your request :D

edit: just ate another 2 chewy vit c tablets. can't stop, wtf. if i die you all know why, write it up in a journal of medicine for me..
 
Aha SG (makes me think of suicide girls for some reason) that's ace.. gotta love scaring randoms you live with. Not sure what mine thought of my taste for gabba..

It's always a good idea to dig out the most extreme music you have, soften them up with that and then (in my case) really mess up their heads when the coutry and the camp disco go on.

It's the only possible way to cope when living with strangers... other than joining in too many inane conversations.

What pisses me off (if anything) is that I live with people who are in their early twenties yet can't even finish a bottle of champagne between four of them on a weekday evening. Yet they still make the most unholy racket when they get together. Although it's all more of a postgrad tribute to Friends rather than anything raucous.

Come on you old bastards! When I was twenty-three I hardly slept at all! I turned out okay.
 
Good luck with the scan!

it went better than i honestly thought i could hope for!!! my average body bone density, whatever that means, is no the highish side of normal. and only one part had osteopenia. my spine, which would admittedly be a bugger to break, but it was v close to normal and last time it was v close to osteoperosis, and all of them were osteopenic, if thats a word.

overall i'm well chuffed cos the continued absence of certain womanly things made me worry that in spite of gaining all the weight my bones might not be getting stronger.

feel sooo tired, but so excited too. not sure if i'll be able to sleep but don't mind just chilling in bed with a few benzos and my last spliff for a bit.
 
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