Random MSN Gibberings LXI: "The Gringo that every girl wants"

[Myshkin]

Nobody's too manly for a diary. Not even Henry Rollins.

 

[Mugz]

I wouldn't be caught dead on twitter though.

 

[breakcorefiend]

hi all, acid is stilll going strong, hankering for a hit of changa but shall wait till im down from the lucy till i indulge in the mystic spice

 

[Munroe]

Nobody's too manly for a diary. Not even Henry Rollins.

Maybe if I refer to it collectively as "The Chronicles of Munroe" i'll feel more comfortable with it.

 

[parttime crackhead]

Not a bad line up, how'd yoi get a free ticket?

My mate's band are playing & they got me on the guest list.

 

[JB]

Not proud of myself

Didn't want to start a new thread for this but I thought it might make a few of you smile. Those who have me on facebook will have seen this already but it's a facebook status thread where I document my texts back and forth with someone who'ed sent a text to my phone last week having been given a wrong number. That incorrect number just having happend to be mine.

What made this random text so interesting was that the text was regarding an amorous liaison that had occurred between the texter and the intended recipient.

It was quite a moral quandary as to how I should reply but the dark side of me decided I'd have a little fun and then share that with others....

JB
Just trying to concoct a response to the most hilarious wrong number text I received this morning. Ha ha.

· Like ·



GM and TJ like this.





DA You have to show me tomorrow!Monday at 23:15 · Like




JB You can imagine how I laughed upon turning on my phone this morning and reading the following wrong number text....

07********: "Thank you so much. So glad that you said yes. I dnt usually do 1 night stands and find out its all about pleasure for your gender regardless what we want. I totally enjoyed friday night. So ecstatic you want to m3t up again. Are we going to become fuckbuddies? I so dnt mind. I just have one complaint. Please do not be so hung up on your penis size. Ok its nt the thickest neither the longest, but your good in bed. Ring you soon. L. X" (sic)

It's been a source of chukkles all day. I'll post my reply in a min'.
Monday at 23:20 · Like · 1 person




JB My first reply......

"Thanks for your candid text which I got this morning. It certainly put a smile and a grin on my face. It's probably just as well though that you actually text the wrong number as despite your intended target recent morale boosting night of pleasure with you, my one complaint is that for someone who was obviously self conscious about his penis size mentioning it in your first text back to him could have been devastating. Just as well I got it instead. Yours sincerely, a handsome. well endowed man who's confidant the motion in the ocean is more important than the size of your oar. "Monday at 23:21 · Like · 7 people





SC
Looooooooooooooooooool someone must be pulling a prank what were u up to fri night??? Looool xx Tuesday at 07:48 · Like





DA That's one to tell the grandkids...Tuesday at 08:02 · Like





TJ Too funny!!!! Have they replied???Tuesday at 14:55 · Like





AH That has made my day - hilarious!!! Tuesday at 18:45 · Like





DH Have you had a reply john? Hehe Tuesday at 20:53 · Like





SB hahahaha, that's brilliant!!Tuesday at 21:48 · Like





JM Loving your reply! Really want to hear if you get a reply from her. LMAO!! Tuesday at 21:55 · Like




JB Ha ha. Loving the stir this has caused. No, not unsurprisingly I've not had any reply and I'm fairly sure I won't get one. Tuesday at 22:29 · Like · 1 person





VE hahaha... that is just tooo funny!! ;0) Yesterday at 08:41 · Like




JB Ohhh, I had a response. Will post the details later. I think someone got a bit butt hurt and had to resort to personal insults. Ha ha. Hey at least I'm not the one who aired my filthy knickers to a stranger. Yesterday at 09:34 · Like





VE even funnier!! lol!! x Yesterday at 10:57 · Like




JB Random Texter ("Amanda", now to be referred to as "Loose knickers Mandy"): "You seem very confident if your name really is j, your handsome well endowed, etc etc. Your (sic) more likely to be fat, ugly and have a small penis also will not have a clue how to use it, last but not least you have a partner so that will make you a player j, if that is your name."

Ha ha, oh dear. Yesterday at 16:12 · Like




JB Well I've got to say, I'm not proud of myself at this point. A bit of harmless japery is one thing, but once it descends to school yard personal insults it's no longer something an honourable man should partake in. The responsible thing todo, would just be to accept that and move on. However I seem not to be an honourable man......

J (if that is my name): "Well, good morning A-man-da. I'm sorry you took my text so badly. I'd tried to inject a little humour in to it to let you down lightly after you having aired your filthy knickers to a complete stranger. I'm sorry you had to resort to personal insults though as for in regards to me you only have my word to go on, where as for you I have the fact that you are either so hideously ugly or bad in bed that the guy you slept with felt to give you a fake number. As for your player comment that seems strange from the skank who gave up the goods on the first night. Anyway, you can at least have the consolation of knowing that your text has had everyone in the office in stitches. Don't feel too bad. At least I didn't pretend to be the guy and string you along for the fun of it. J x"

Now guys, reading that back I'm really not proud of myself. The poor skank has feelings too. I guess her response about me being fat and small penised must have struck a nerve. It's not easy living with something that would look small even on a baby and that I can't even see over the massive drooping belly of mine. Boooohoooo. Ha ha Yesterday at 16:26 · Like · 1 person





JM Oooh!!! There was no need for her to attack you!! You actually gave her some really good advice and it was funny not nasty! No wonder he gave her a fake number as she seems absolutely horrible! I don't blame you for your bitchy response xx Yesterday at 16:34 · Like





VE Foooking hilarious!! Nice one J!! Yesterday at 17:32 · Like





CJ LOOOOL! Screw office laughs, im crackin up at home, nice one mate, needed this to help with the "it's-not-quite-pay-day-ye
t" blues! P.S - pass the digi's this way lololYesterday at 19:11 · Like




JB Well I just got a reply. I think she may actually think I'm the guy she met, hence her weird comments about me having a partner in the text before.

"Loose knickers Mandy":"Your (sic) really 1 for the books! Ha lol? Did I hurt your feelings hon? They say the truth really hurts! Oh did I hurt your feelings? Your gf is either no good in bed, or you have no-one? By your reply, you were too good to be true. X. Lol 2 smug, 2 confidant with a touch of arrogance! j you will not know what goodness you have rebuffed x what a pity if you were being straight. About your office humour so glad I was included, what is life without humour, fun and a good time, my only regret hon, were your remarks about facebook, so sad > sounds like an addict > x"

I can only imagine her comprehension is not so good. Either that or she's in denial about me saying she was texting a wrong number. Anyway I'm going to leave this here. We've all had our fun and any more replies would be bordering on cruel, if that's not already a line I've long passed.

So the story ends well, her liaison sans lendemain was much enjoyed, we've all had a good chuckle at an anonymous strangers expense and everyone lived happily ever after.

Good night kids

(and p.s., if I get a text in 9 months about child support I'll be sure to post it here)10 minutes ago · Like

 

[parttime crackhead]

Hahaha, I would have been much more cruel.

 

[kingme]

l337 speak hurts my brain .. still, funny, and i think you handled it great.
hostel dorms suck, btw. fun sometimes, but sockshock and 6 loud americans can get on one's nerves ...

 

[Jabberwocky]

i have to say, that while thing is hilarous but i find this attitude from men quite insluting, as most will do the same thing....

J (if that is my name): ... the skank who gave up the goods on the first night. ...

when i was single i never really got guaranteed sex so frankly took up every opportunity i got. maybe not the best behaviour, but clearly there were male perpetrators too. i don't think it makes me a skank, just a woman who (shock horror) enjoys sex.

 

[kingme]

i dont think it was meant as a general comment on giving up goods, and just skanky in that particular context. i like women that know what they want and go for it. more power to them
but maybe thats just me

 

[Myshkin]

There's certainly scope for a broader* debate there about male attitudes etc. (and one in which I expect I'd share chinup's views) but I don't think Gibberings is the place.

General rule of thumb: A man or a woman is only truly a 'skank' if they offer you their blood to drink on the first night.

One I've always lived (and failed) by.

* Oh, and I kind of said 'broad' too. Which means I can also push a secret misogyny agenda at the same time as appearing to be a good guy. Sheer stupid genius.

 

[TheSpade]

Post her number on here and we can all have a laugh. :D

My mate's band are playing & they got me on the guest list.

Nice one. First time at T? I'd only go now if the ticket was free, otherwise no fucking way. Over priced and full of dafties. The first year I went you could buy tickets at the gate and that was the year David Bowie was supposed to be headlining.......till he had a heart attack, now even with Beyonce (she is headling isn't she or did I imagine that?) or some wank indie band at top the bill it sells out in less than an hour.

 

[Sadie]

Just woke up after sleeping most of the day. Went to a thing last night ( friday ) that went on from midnight to 6. Didn't actually end up finishing until 6:30. After a bus ride back to the city, a dodgy McDonalds, a train ride home and then a wind down didn't get to sleep until 12 or so. Feel like I could go back to sleep any minute now..

What a waste of a Saturday. But a great Friday none the less.



I have come to the conclusion that McDonalds and me don't mix. I knew their food was crap but it really doesn't agree with me.

 

[breakcorefiend]

Still tripping, best acid ever, best day ever, currently smoking on brizzles finest sinsemilla and I mean FINEST!

 

[monstanoodle]

Gah.. Me and not drinking aren't working My tummy's not happy about it either.
Gunna let my doc know about it on Wed... Bit worried though, even though I know she'll be understanding.

Enjoy yer acid you acid peeps

 

[Sadie]

my sleep cycle is all fucked up thanks to friday night.


Think cider might be sending me to sleep though thank goodness.

Got a whole heap of fathersday crap going on tomorrow. Funny enough, my dad is crazy and a total dick I don't talk to. Yet I'm jumping through hoops. My man because the midgets don't know how to make a fuss and the father in law because I love him to bits.

 

[matt<3ketamine]

brilliant night! full of booze n banging techno/dnb/jungle/psy tunes mmm whiskey n cider
my legs are dead, too much stomping, ill pay for this tomorrow, on the upside (sadly its someone elses downside ), i found a bag of weed on the floor there, it looked lik an empty baggie just kicking about, i had a double glance and im glad i did! so just sat n done myself 3 bongs there as soon as i got in, was meant to rack a few people there but we had to depart ways before we got the chance awk well, theres always next week was a great crowd at it, everyone giving it stacks (or was it just me :D ) looks like the place got new speakers, but they seemed to be fuckin up for them a fair few times through out the sets. hopefully they will have it sorted for next time, anyway, away to bed, wrecked and very very hiiiigh, night night BL (or shuld i say morning cuz i can hear the birdys outside a-singing :D )

 

[brimz]

I'm fukin suntanned to rass , i look well healthy , actually ialways look quite healthy considering my indulging
Got to come back t'day

 

[kingme]

anyone else wonder why the EA events forum is so deserted? i mean really, some of the threads there are just plain forgotten...

 

[Arnold]

anyone else wonder why

Nopes.