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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Random MSN Gibberings LVIII - Junkies use candles...

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morning folks!

been away from bluelight a while done REALLY badly since getting back to Leeds, been on gear pretty much every day, and gone over twice, the quality seems really good now, i'm a fucking tool, a real idiot, ended up in hospital then the next day went over again, just stayed in the ambulance the second time till i was ok to go.. tried chasing last week and it did work but i seem to be fond of digging

just going to try and not buy any at all.. didn't get any yesterday but did munch a load of xanax and drink cider and do ketamine, can't seem to stay sober at all, what else it there to do in todays society!? i don't fucking know, just get fucked again and again.. today i can't get out of bed.. should really get up and do work but just feeling low, need to find a new job and got thousands of words to write but feel so down, not sure what to do, want to go back to portugal :(`
 
aw mate i'm sorry to hear that, but don't be too hard on yourself.

Maybe just pick one or two things to achieve today, sense of achievement could really help lift your mood. Plus, as much as I hated writing essays, at least it's keeping you occupied.
 
tekkeN said:
morning folks!

been away from bluelight a while done REALLY badly since getting back to Leeds, been on gear pretty much every day, and gone over twice, the quality seems really good now, i'm a fucking tool, a real idiot, ended up in hospital then the next day went over again, just stayed in the ambulance the second time till i was ok to go.. tried chasing last week and it did work but i seem to be fond of digging

just going to try and not buy any at all.. didn't get any yesterday but did munch a load of xanax and drink cider and do ketamine, can't seem to stay sober at all, what else it there to do in todays society!? i don't fucking know, just get fucked again and again.. today i can't get out of bed.. should really get up and do work but just feeling low, need to find a new job and got thousands of words to write but feel so down, not sure what to do, want to go back to portugal :(`
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Ah mate we all go through this when using , just be strong and try find other things to do to try keep ur mind off of it ... aye i know fucking way harder than it sounds but it can be done

BTW are you from Portugal ?
 
SamhainGrim said:
Quite right, it's all theft. Or so an anarchist friend told me...
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lol. i actually do partially believe this. not all property is theft but property way beyond what you need for yourself and dependents, with the ratio of people to cake these days, is imo wrong.

tekken- sorry you're having such a hard time of it, i hope you manage to get out of bed at least. just try to stay positive, good luck. i think its normal to have a massive blowout after some time off so don't beat yourself up, am sure you can put the brakes on things.
 
its silly because im not even hooked its just mental at the moment but im just sick of leeds really

not from portugal but my family moved there from manchester so thats where i was over easter, sorted myself out somewhat, planned on coming back and stayin away from certain people but just fell straight back into using no bloody self control at all

wibble think your right if I just do a bit of work today i will feel better, just a few hundred words or something, and need to speak to my mum i remember her calling to see how my drugs meeting thing went yesterday and i was battered on the phone just saying i needed to go watch Man U and could she call later so shes probably hurt and worried :(
 
Gear for dinner last night and valium for breakfast today, least it made the job centre more fun this morning, but I forgot where I locked up my bike, twice! I'm not the sharpest today.

Just came to make sure my flat hasn't been burgled, it hasn't so I'm fucking off again to chill in the park with some mates. Don't feel like I want to stay here since the last run in with neighbore. no noise was being made this time, he's just an irrational prick. He squared up to me and nearly hit me, so he's been reported and i'm possibly moving flats. CUNT!
 
cherrycolouredfunk said:
Gear for dinner last night and valium for breakfast today, least it made the job centre more fun this morning, but I forgot where I locked up my bike, twice! I'm not the sharpest today.

Just came to make sure my flat hasn't been burgled, it hasn't so I'm fucking off again to chill in the park with some mates. Don't feel like I want to stay here since the last run in with neighbore. no noise was being made this time, he's just an irrational prick. He squared up to me and nearly hit me, so he's been reported. CUNT!
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Good one get the fucker evicted ;)
 
Urrgh. Messy shit Tekken. Try to be careful, yeah? :\

Easier said than done though, as you say. I imagine it feels all the worse as you were doing so well in Portugal too. Like others have said though, don't beat yourself up about it - that's one way to make yourself worse.

Personally I try to keep as much of a distance as possible from people who use, even if it means not seeing one or two people I like. I just don't have the willpower otherwise. Or I do on a good day and then a bad day comes along, then there's a good day but it'd be better with some gear, then it's all you're thinking about.

Good to see you're still keeping it non-habitual but the needle thing's not going to help with any psychological cravings, that's for sure.

All this talk about small goals and so on only sounds like a cliché because it's true. So getting some work done and talking to your mum might do you the world of good. Hope so.

Anyway, you've got EADD to vent at if things don't go to plan. Good luck.

EDIT: I also support the eviction of what sounds like a horrible man and a shitty neighbour, Cherry.
 
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Its definitely easier to think about keeing clean one day at a time than to thinking long term

At the end of each day you can think to your self, well done i had another clean day , now for teh next one tomorrow
 
And at the end of they day you obviously want to change your life, dont underestimate the power of that =)
 
thanks :) just sent my mum a long email asking her to call me, managed to get out of bed and make some tea anyway
 
Looks like no one will be going out to score in a day or two, we are forecast for thunder and lightning storms lol

Well england is =p
 
Good luck Tekken, hopefully this is a blip and a reaction to coming back from Portugal where you seemed pretty happy. Like someone said on the last page, and I'm too hungover to remember who, you seem to want to sort this out which is a great start. Don't beat yourself up in the meantime. Maybe some sort of treat which doesn't involve drugs would be a bit of a morale boost right now. If not, concentrate on the little stuff like making the best possible cuppa!
 
Smack , your joking man,not goin to score because of some bad weather ? i would find my way To score if it ment Putin my life on the line.
 
but im just sick of leeds really
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Why not move away? You seem to really like Portugal, how about going there?

I also support the eviction of what sounds like a horrible man and a shitty neighbour, Cherry
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Isn't she the one making noise all the time and having mad parties? Sounds like she needs to be evicted.
 
I really hope u realized i was joking strungout .. i have suffered at the hands of your username many times so i know that a little thing like rain wouldnt stop me

i was just watching the waether at the time and they mentioned thunderstorms so thought i would make a lil joke out of it =p
 
How is it looking down there anyway ?

Does it look like there is a storm a brewing as they say lol

Sorry my last reply made me sound a bit more serious than it was sposed to .... more emotes ftw !
 
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