I had to go get my scripts at the doctor today and the office is in a real ghettoish part of town and has more people going to that pharmacy in that building to pick up there methadone then anywhere else ive seen. While i was smoking and waiting outside for my turn to see the doc to come up i got talking to a few people who where addicts outside. One was a guy and his girl who where both on methadone and the woman was also on methylphenidate and she was waiting for her script. I don't know why but even amoung adults methylphenidate is really popular here even moreso then dexedrine. Way more prevelant then dexies thats for sure. Guess all the cokeheads here love em when they arent doin blow.
While i was talking to them the old what are you on and such and such a thing came up as it always does in these situations. I told her i was on morphine and she said that she never takes morphine anymore since her friend died from complications of shooting the stuff up. She showed me her arms from shooting morphine, oxy, dillys, coke, whatever and man where they bad. Track marks all over them and reminents of many infections. I felt really bad for her because her and her b/f actually seemed really cool and it kinda guts me to see people that seem so nice to be in such bad situations. I have seen bad marks from using before but this took the cake.
It made me really really glad that i never picked up the needle. Well not quite true i did almost shoot up some dilaudid but in a last minute flash of sanity i squirted it into a glass and drank it instead since i saw nothing but misery coming out of hitting the needle. I think god that my self preservation kicked in when i was at a real low last spring and was about to shoot up but didnt.
I still overuse my prescription to get high but i have to admit i have gotten back alot of the self control i had lost over the years to the stuff. During this past month sans one bad patch my use above medical levels has gone way down. I don't think it's a coincidence that my use has gone down when my life has changed alot for the better and i have alot to look foreward to in the near future. I think alot of the problem all along was just the feeling of hopelessness i had about my situation in life. I almost had myself convinced that i was never going to get out of here but that changed in the matter of less then 24 hours.
Life is a motherfucking trip that's for sure if nothing else. I never went from such despair to such happiness in the span of less then a day then i did a few weeks back. I didnt even think it was possible for fuck sakes. Complete despair to happier ive been since i can remember in such a short amount of time and im still happy.
I just started typing on a nice dose of morphine, dimenhydrinate, gabapentin and clonazepam and i typed all that up without even thinking. So it's just ramblings from a drug addeled brain
. Oh well i figured i had to put something new in my blog sometime soon lol.
While i was talking to them the old what are you on and such and such a thing came up as it always does in these situations. I told her i was on morphine and she said that she never takes morphine anymore since her friend died from complications of shooting the stuff up. She showed me her arms from shooting morphine, oxy, dillys, coke, whatever and man where they bad. Track marks all over them and reminents of many infections. I felt really bad for her because her and her b/f actually seemed really cool and it kinda guts me to see people that seem so nice to be in such bad situations. I have seen bad marks from using before but this took the cake.
It made me really really glad that i never picked up the needle. Well not quite true i did almost shoot up some dilaudid but in a last minute flash of sanity i squirted it into a glass and drank it instead since i saw nothing but misery coming out of hitting the needle. I think god that my self preservation kicked in when i was at a real low last spring and was about to shoot up but didnt.
I still overuse my prescription to get high but i have to admit i have gotten back alot of the self control i had lost over the years to the stuff. During this past month sans one bad patch my use above medical levels has gone way down. I don't think it's a coincidence that my use has gone down when my life has changed alot for the better and i have alot to look foreward to in the near future. I think alot of the problem all along was just the feeling of hopelessness i had about my situation in life. I almost had myself convinced that i was never going to get out of here but that changed in the matter of less then 24 hours.
Life is a motherfucking trip that's for sure if nothing else. I never went from such despair to such happiness in the span of less then a day then i did a few weeks back. I didnt even think it was possible for fuck sakes. Complete despair to happier ive been since i can remember in such a short amount of time and im still happy.
I just started typing on a nice dose of morphine, dimenhydrinate, gabapentin and clonazepam and i typed all that up without even thinking. So it's just ramblings from a drug addeled brain
. Oh well i figured i had to put something new in my blog sometime soon lol.
