rain thoughts

[atri]

waiting
always waiting
for the lunch break
quitting time
the weekend
next month
my end of active service
next year, when im settled in
and the days go by quickly and mostly without incident. but today i stopped. i went and stood in the rain, smoked my newport and smiled.
id forgotten how it felt to get soaked to the bone and not care. then it hit me
BLAM
youre soaked to the bone everyday atri. with work, your asshole boss. lack of funds. being restricted to the barraks. no drinking, no partying. and you let it get you down. the best you have ever even tried for was some sympathy and maybe telling yourself you were apathetic. but thats not living. living is more than not caring about the things that hurt. living is enjoying the things that hurt because at least thats something. when you arent around, you wont have the chance to feel the pain.
im still waiting, but im enjoying the view now. even if it is a brick wall, its coming down day by day.
atri
i just noticed that the inspiration for the day is "life isnt a matter of milestones, but of moments" by rose kennedy. wierd
atri
[ 22 June 2002: Message edited by: jizmak52 ]

 

[E-girl]

self-realization and a rainstorm of emotions.... you really hit home with this one.

 

[womanthatrolls]

living is enjoying the things that hurt because at least thats something
I try to remind myself of that everyday!

 

[Dagny]

Beautiful sweetheart. I do that too, go numb sometimes to the reality around me. And that moment of awareness, of rain, is always beautiful.