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Qyuittig heroin more or less cold turkey - currently on 48hrs

Try taking some benzos as well if you have them might do the trick. With loperamide I just been taking double the dose 2-3 /day and it stopped the diarrhoea, not sure about feeling better though...exhaustion is the worst especially when you’re expected to function and be sociable. It really does suck...but also gets me out the house however painful that sounds. Best of luck to you too!!
 
I used to be Addicted to Klonopin and getting off that was a long and painful process. I was eating 2-10 mg of Kpin, sometimes xanax a day for about 3 years. I have eaten any benzos is about 7 months.

I know that if I eat some I'm gonna get back on them unfortunately.
 
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Just a little update - still h free and feeling better day by day. Tiredness is a killer but appetite is back with a vengeance. I actually slept for almost 6 hours last night which isn’t bad at all. Does anyone know how long before one acquires a nasty benzo habit? Had to keep popping them just to drop off but really don’t fancy another habit so need to start easing off after a week.

Finally my heart goes out to everyone going through similar shit. Keep strong and message for support if you need to. I have no one at the moment and found blue light helpful but will try na ....May work who knows...It can be hard to see how living clean is even worth it but it must be right? I long to enjoy a chilled glass of wine - hard when you’re on gear all the time. Keep strong people. Hugs to you all
 
charmcitypoker said:
What have your sleeping habits been like since starting wd?
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So to answer that:

Did Last super week shot before going through security in uk around 12pm. Wednesday. Obviously felt great then and attacked the buffet and bar. Dozed off on a plane after weeping watching Lion King and it started from there.

No more sleep to be had till around Saturday bar of 10mins.

Slept okish for the last 2 nights but with a cocktail of pills bordering on dangerous. Would I have slept with no aids? Maybe but doubtful. I mean it’s 6.44am here and am up during holidays. Had a dream tat there was a fat shot waiting for me and so I got out of bed to do it and ....crap no h or any fucking opiate in this house.

Are you sleeping yet? Anything helping?
Hugs and kisses
 
Oneandonly12345 said:
Decided had enough of being sick - and that’s never to have run out of money and still... couldn’t always get it in time to get wel. I had a trip coming up to Chicago ( here now) to visit my mum for 8 days. I have gone from 3-4g/week(over 2 years) habit Iv to virtually just rinsed out cotton towards the end..
My question is this - is the worst over or yet to come? Feeling awful, not slept for bight despite eating Xanax, lorazepam and a cocktail of pain pills to take the edge. No connects in Chicago otherwise I would have made a runner me thinks xxx if I could just sleep it’ll all be ok but not a wink and I feel sick as as can be
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Hello oneandonly,

Sorry to hear your struggling. I think you're stronger than what you think,that takes guts man to know your going all that way to the USA and trying to kick at the same time. It shows just how determined you are to change your life for the better.

I know how hard this is. I was never an IV user and chased the dragon,but still built up a habit,went onto subutex which wasn't easy. I changed my life,cut myself off from old mates and hookups,kept myself to myself to get the psychological shit out the way,then when I felt strong enough and 7 years later got my sub dose down to a crumb and switched to kratom.

6 weeks down the line the subs should be completely out my system and now it's time to make the jump and do Ibogaine to reset everything. I could never do cold Turkey. I may have fared better with being on short acting opiates but that fucking subutex is so long acting it goes on forever. I might have been able to succeed with the physical had it not been for the crushing depression. When I stopped the crumb of sub I went 5 days with nothing and it was a nightmare,but kratom really helped,so much so I was buzzing off it,but I know it's just swapping one addiction with another.

If you can get your hands on black cumin seeds,used in cooking,not the round seeds but thin black ones. Crush in a pestle and motor and take 2 grams a day in divided doses it will help.

If you can't do this,but I think you can,then Kratom is much better for you than H or synthetic opiates. Don't give in to that shit,but go natural if you have to.

Good luck
 
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Oneandonly12345 said:
It can be hard to see how living clean is even worth it but it must be right?
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It really is, it took me about 6 months for mental stability but even during that time it was worth it most of the time. This is also why you jave to put work in though, otherwise you're left with the problems you were self medicating, with no escape from them.
 
chinup said:
It really is, it took me about 6 months for mental stability but even during that time it was worth it most of the time. This is also why you jave to put work in though, otherwise you're left with the problems you were self medicating, with no escape from them.
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That rings so true...👍
 
Will this exhaustion ever end? I feel like I should be 70 and my grandma would still outrun me. Oh and the dreams wtf, the using dreams. Still all self inflicted ....what an arse I am.
Hope everyone else is doing well and USA 🇺🇸 bluelighters looking forward to the hols 😁👍
 
The exhaustion and the mental stuff has been harder for me than the physical WD.
I'm in week 3 and now some better days are starting to appear. The 'worth it' feelings are moments. I've been assured they'll become worth it days. It's all about getting through each day. Real cravings hit in week 2, especially when I stopped taking Benzos and Kratom.
I wouldn't take Benzos longer than 2 weeks. A good 4 day break off them to see hopw you're feeling before taking any more. If your body is developing dependence you'll know by then.
H is a beast to come off. Doing it cold turkey is tough and apparently may increase the likelihood of Post Acute Withdrawal syndrome. The days of depression and anxiety are TOUGH. You know physical symptoms end and it can get you through but the mental stuff, damn it's a tormentor. The exhaustion is part of it. A real fatigue lingers. It's hard to shake. But self care should continue for at leasta month after WD. Patience with yourself, allowing rest, indulge in any little hobbies or notions. Give yourself a lot of love right now.
You're doing amazingly by getting out. Try not to spend more than one full day inside. You get wrapped up in your head the longer you stay in.
 
i was relatively happy for a lot of the time i was on the dark too. or i hated myself for being a heroin addict but i loved the heroin and could afford it.

i'm not sure if this is useful or not but i wanted to tell you about my first rattle cos there's some parallels to yours and i don't want you to make the same mistakes i did.

my first rattle was about 18 months after i first tried heroin, and 6 months after i'd had a full blownhabit. i was certain i just needed to do the rattle and i'd be sorted. i booked a flight to a long way away, was sick before i even left cos i didn't leave myself enough for the morning. by the time i got to amsterdam my eyes were streaming. necked a load of DHC before going though security at schipol. thought i'd have enough DHC to taper. didn't even have enough to get me comfortably through the flight. it was utter hell, i was completely unprepared for how awful withdrawal would be. i couldn't get comfortable. would wake up sweating, take some dhc and zopiclone. wake up freezing, take some dhc and zopiclone. repeat for 14 hours.

the whole time i was away i was certain i'd never put myself through that again. after my rattle i had a good trip. upon returning to the uk, i ordered gear from the train on the way back from the airport. i swore i'd at least never do a rattle on a plane again, rattled on every flight i went on til i got clean. i only got clean when i was forced to, and i lost almost everything before i did.

i didn't realise what a psychological grip heroin had on me and it didn't even occur to me to put stuff in place to help me stay clean when i got home from that trip. so please please try and put together a recovery plan before you get back.

anyway how are you getting on? are you feeling better?
 
chinup said:
i was relatively happy for a lot of the time i was on the dark too. or i hated myself for being a heroin addict but i loved the heroin and could afford it.

i'm not sure if this is useful or not but i wanted to tell you about my first rattle cos there's some parallels to yours and i don't want you to make the same mistakes i did.

my first rattle was about 18 months after i first tried heroin, and 6 months after i'd had a full blownhabit. i was certain i just needed to do the rattle and i'd be sorted. i booked a flight to a long way away, was sick before i even left cos i didn't leave myself enough for the morning. by the time i got to amsterdam my eyes were streaming. necked a load of DHC before going though security at schipol. thought i'd have enough DHC to taper. didn't even have enough to get me comfortably through the flight. it was utter hell, i was completely unprepared for how awful withdrawal would be. i couldn't get comfortable. would wake up sweating, take some dhc and zopiclone. wake up freezing, take some dhc and zopiclone. repeat for 14 hours.

the whole time i was away i was certain i'd never put myself through that again. after my rattle i had a good trip. upon returning to the uk, i ordered gear from the train on the way back from the airport. i swore i'd at least never do a rattle on a plane again, rattled on every flight i went on til i got clean. i only got clean when i was forced to, and i lost almost everything before i did.

i didn't realise what a psychological grip heroin had on me and it didn't even occur to me to put stuff in place to help me stay clean when i got home from that trip. so please please try and put together a recovery plan before you get back.

anyway how are you getting on? are you feeling better?
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Thanks for sharing. It’s great help really. I’m at the airport now waiting to get back to the uk. Feeling bit better but lack of sleep is a killer and sleeping pills don’t work for me at all ☹️. I really don’t know what is going to happen when I return. I hope that I stay clean but I realise it’ll be bloody hard...I’ll keep you guys posted and well done chinup for managing to stay away from it eventually. I had to sit through thanksgiving dinner yesterday with 18 other people and make small talk and most were asking what the hell is wrong with me to still have jet lag a week later...yep some jet lag ...
 
Oneandonly12345 said:
I personally don’t know enough about it to consider it. Up until recently I have been a happy addict if there’s such a thing. Do you know much about how it works?
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I highly recommend you research it because it's been incredibly helpful for many addicts. There are some profound experiences in the Trip Reports forum.
 
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