Quitting the friends when you quit the drugs, now what?

[aerne210]

So, if you had made the incredibly step to get off the drugs, I am sure you know what I am talking about. To get clean and stay clean, you usually have to leave the friends that you had when you were getting high. Not because you want to, it's just what's best for you and your sobriety, although, once your head starts to clear, you may find that they were never really good friends to begin with, also, if it wasn't for the drugs... you know. Either way, they were the only friends you had left because you lost the original good friends on your path down the hole. So good or bad, you are left without friends/someone to talk to/someone to be there for you. I am luckier than a lot, I have a good family and their support, but I am a 21 year old woman, so they can't possibly fill the void I need filled. With no girlfriends to talk to, or friends to hang with, now what? I feel to old to start over in this department, I know I must, I just don't know what the first steps would be. I really enjoy the comforting friendship of a fellow ex drug addict, I always have more to talk about with them, and they provide a lot more/better advice or things to chat about. The few people I reached out to from my NA meetings kind of blew me off, just didn't get back to me. I could use any kind of friend at the moment, ex drug user or not. I just don't know how to go about this. 8(

 

[manboychef]

You got a friend in me homegirl. Honestly, I find that as I progress in my recovery the best friends I meet are through work and volunteering. Usually if you volunteer you are volunteering to do something you have an interest in...which sets the mode for meeting people that share a similar interest.

 

[Bigmikeeee]

I was on the same boat as you. Keep in mind if you were to go back to you're friends... things will never be the same. I am also 21 as living in New York City is great for building contacts. I was Sober for a year, came back home and relapsed of missing the way things used to be. I've been using since mid august and things are not the same as they used to be. I've gone pretty downhill since i relapsed and I am trying to get back in the program, but i'm in a deep hole and things are slowly getting worse. I miss the freedom of sobriety. I recommend you make some friends with similar interest... whether its school, art, gym, specific work field. Find people in aa and na who you relate with in terms of personality etc... AA fellowship can be strange but really fun once you've met some really interesting people. Hope you got something out of this despite my current situation!

 

[aerne210]

Thank you manboychef :] you have no idea how wonderful that is to hear! Volunteering is a great idea, I have only done it to get some community service hours out of the way, but I haven't even looked for one that I may be interested in.

 

[aerne210]

bigmikeeee, thank you for the input, always appreciated :] Also, I am sorry to hear that, but that doesn't mean anything, relapse is a part of recovery, you only fuck up when you give up, just keep trying and you'll be doing the best you can. It took me 4 tries before I could stay sober longer than a month.