Quitting stimulant use. Anyone had any success? Or even want to do this?

[SmokingAces]

So I'll begin here, I'm not 100% sure this is the correct sub forum, mods feel free to tell me where is best if not

Anyway I started using stimulants 11-12 years ago now. First cocaine, then ecstacy, speed, mephedrone, meth, crack and various RC's along the way. Fast forward to present day and I've had problems with virtually every single one of them with the exception of meth. And that's only because I know not to fuck with it too often.

It's really come to a stage where they're just holding me back. I'm diagnosed bipolar, something I'm not so sure I would have if it wasn't for the copious binging on stimulants and many suicidal comedowns and doses of crippling anxiety. I think the diagnosis helped me take a deep look at the things I do and way I operate, it's self affirming. I'm prescribed 50mg Seroquel a day, since August. I even go to the gym 4 days a week, eat well, infact I even eat on cocaine now because I know the body needs energy if your going to be taking loads of lines. It's just come to a point where the comedown from the weekend has lead me to realise I'd be better just sticking to the occasional ketamine, DMT and other drugs that don't ruin my efforts in the gym or fuck my head up for studying for a week.

I'm going to make serious efforts to stop. I've got another gram or possibly 2 of cocaine on the way, that a friend owes me. It's the only one I really still find I really have any strong sense of desire to take. I've quit alcohol and cannabis through the week already, started last week, used both Friday Saturday and none again through the week. Alcohol I do find addictive as hell but it doesn't cause me to loose gains from the gym so bad or fuck me up for a week, I only drink beer now anyway.

So I'm asking the people of BL has anyone gone through similar abuse patterns and lived to tell the tale? Free of the grasp of those damn stimulants? Don't get me wrong part of me still loves them, the buzz is great! I even almost enjoy fiending a load of coke but it's just too counter productive to life, which I am beginning to enjoy and appreciate more and more. I also worry about all the stress I must have put my poor organs through over these years.

Anyone got any similar stories or advice it would be appreciated. I know I will cain those 2 grams of coke because it's dynamite and free of nasty cuts, but after they are gone I think that really will be us parting ways for good.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

I've used stimulants for about the past three years. It's my drug class of choice...I've never been particularly fond of what seems to be the BL favorite, opiates. Although there was a time period (spring 2015) when I did a bit of recreational heroin use. Just not really my thing, though.

Anyway, back to stimulants. Started out with cocaine, moved on to Adderall (many times mixing crushed Adderall powder with cocaine, not safe but I loved to do it), then finally settled on meth. The heroin of stimulants. Now I pretty much "weekend warrior" meth, buying it on Friday and using it all up by Monday morning, I've stopped doing blow because it's expensive and the quality in these parts is dismal. You're probably lucky if you're snorting 40-50% coke, it's just bad. Meth is something I love but I recognize that it's also pretty much The Devil...when I still bought cocaine, I could make a gram last about a week (assuming I wasn't buying it to "party", in which case it'd be gone in a night, of course). Cocaine was a very sustainable habit which I could put down whenever I wanted to. Meth, on the other hand...I will smoke that shit until it's all gone and be completely happy to just jerk off by myself monotonously or clean my room over and over again. I'm a fairly good looking guy (not to be a braggart or anything), and I want to get out there in the social world and chase some girls, make some friends, establish some lasting relationships with other people, but in the moment when I'm high I don't give a shit about any of that whatsoever! All I yearn for is taking those massive hits that send shivers of pleasure up your spinal cord. That's all that exists in that moment, all that matters.

I do better than most stimulant fiends, though, in that I have a good job, a house, a decent amount of financial resources, very solid friendships which go back 10+ years, and two parents who love me very much, plus many people in my extended family who'd gladly help me if I needed it. I do think stimulant use has held me back socially in a big way, though. I'm thinking seriously about trying to discontinue my use. I will say this about being "free of their grasp", though: I spent the entire summer working at my profession, four months straight, and didn't do anything during that time except drink caffeine and smoke a little weed. And using meth was never far from my mind during that time period...as soon as I got back to the city I live in now, I called my connection and got spun. It can be a powerful addiction.

 

[SixBuckets]

I've considered recording a video in the days after a stimulant binge clearly explaining to myself how terrible I feel and why the binge was a poor life choice.

I can never seem to remember this when I have the opportunity to repeat the experience.

 

[BumbleBee33]

I'm clean. Was an IV user. Have used only .5 gram (over 48hrs) since 8/26......my advice- 12 step meetings. Or at least like minded people
I really, really wanted to quit before it ruined my whole life. I've put on 20 lbs, my entire family knows and is supporting me, and I feel 150% better!!!
I was active in my addiction for over 18 months.. IV'ing daily for 4+ months.
I'm 38, used meth 1st time at 14. Most time clean since was 6 yrs thanks to 12 step groups

 

[GrymReefer]

Ya I've always dibbled and dabbled with stimulants. The most difficult part is making sure you maintain your nutritional needs throughout the usage. I learned how to use moderation, but then again moderation is a very subjective statement and the amount that is deemed "suitable" is drastically different.

I'd say its appropriate enough. You are trying to better yourself. You still got a long way because you did try to slightly justify the reasoning behind why you should consume this last small portion, but hey we have all been there ourselves. The first positive step was just recognizing that there is a definitive need for change!

When you are doing this last bit you should try to think about what you are doing to yourself. It doesn't hurt to give yourself a little bit of a guilt trip, but incorporate some positive thinking about getting your current situation in life straight. Just remember the feeling it invokes once the initial high is done and really try to remember that notion of shame or disgust with your own actions. Maybe you don't feel that, but that is what I always tried to drill into my conscious and subconscious thoughts.

It's always so easy to just buy the ticket and take the ride, but we're humans and our inherent desire to always go for more is what inevitably leads to us willingly enable self destructive activities. Once you achieve good riddance to the substance and successfully develop the body you desired then having that tangible image to look at in the mirror will become your daily justification for why you should maintain consistency in what you do.

 

[dognasher]

I have struggled on and off with cocaine for over ten years, the last three years were god awful. I managed to keep an IV habit for two years. I don't know how I did it.

Stims are such a mindfuck because the reward system in the brain gets totally altered and it's just impossible to remember the awful comedowns and depression...until next time.

I don't see any way to sustain the habit, for me. And with coke especially, at the end, you just go straight into a psychosis and it's not really fun anymore. That's what you get to look forward to if you keep on keeping on with it. Some people would disagree.

It sounds like you know exactly what to do, and you are halfway doing it. For lots of people there is no big blow out, or rock bottom...life just starts sucking a little more and is more complicated. I'll tell you this much, the fact that you still have some semblance of a normal life will make it a lot easier for you to quit now while you still have support and resources. It gets a lot harder when you have nothing.

It weird, I know people who have been able to sustain a stim habit for upwards of ten years, and those who it has taken down in months. But there always, always, seems to be a high risk of psychiatric disorders that come along with prolonged use, far more than other drugs. I guess for me it just wasn't worth the risk of feeling like I was on a lifelong comedown because of some disorder brought on by stimulants.

 

[CFC]

Never really got comedowns or depression after stims like meth, especially if I took lots of naps which I ultimately found I could do even when completely high. It's not sleep exactly, but after a while I'm definitely not conscious. But I also took a tankload of antioxidants and it made me ravenously stomach-achingly hungry so I was always eating very well, lots of nutritious food.

Generally it does make life shit though in all the ways discussed above lol. I was able to grab hold of the negative feelings of everything I hated about the stuff afterwards, and then actively associate it with those gnawing impulses to use meth. Kills the desire in me pretty effectively.

I've then had to almost sort of push that negative feeling aside to make myself use it subsequently. And then when I'm done with that cycle, resuscitate the whole negative association thing again to stop. So I used during maybe 2-3 periods every year, for between about 1 week and a month.

In this sense, I have mild control over my general usage, but within those periods when I've decided to use, I need to write off the days or weeks as I'm unable to control use while I still have some in my possession.

 

[SmokingAces]

Enough days of meth and you will look burnt out after even with sleep. I've only used MDMA once this month 180mg total and found a tiny amount of meth which I vaped but certainly not substantial amounts and I have no intentions of buying in more meth. I am going to try and get ahold of some great MDMA, as I'm booking a rave in December, which I will also probably try the MDMA or pills out before hand once more.

I feel like if stimulants and feeling high and euphoric is your thing that MDMA is a less harmful more meaningfully productive than cleaning the whole house and tearing your right arm off like meth. Or sat around taking cocaine talking about cocaine.

CFC your regime sounds good. I tend to always eat if on a binge too, shower daily and keep good hygiene. However I think your model of having a week - a month blowout, which was the way I did things, eventually takes it's toll and you want to do it more and more. For me meth is probably the best high of any stimulant but it is possibly more mentally addictive than cocaine. I agree with what you say about it getting in the way of things. Now for me to use I have to book something that seems worthy of doing drugs or else I feel like I have just wasted 3 days of my life and my good health to achieve nothing meaningful or enjoyable, worthy of discussion, other than fiend.