Heroin Quitting heroin

[jones-in_J]

So after a few weeks back on heroin after being clean for the most part of a year prior to this I know it's got to be time that I quit this time

I came into work high every day last week and people at my work are starting to all notice it (they'd have to be pretty dumb not to notice) and it's just finally starting to sink in that I'm at a pretty serious risk losing my job

Anyway so I have a bag of a decent amount of powdered bali kratom and five 8mg suboxone trips to get me through it.. though I t hink I'm not going to use the kratom at all due to the unpredictability of results despite the fact that it does help with withdrawal... I can't risk to have an occasion similar to the few that I've had where kratom made me feel like shit before going into work -- as I'm trying to show my boss how good of a worker I normally am and this would really hurt my ability to do so

I'll probably go all day today and tomorrow sick and then start taking the subs in 0.5 mg incriments, not exceeding 2mg/day... starting either thursday night so i can catch some sleep before work friday or i'll start taking them friday before I go into work at 4pm, haven't decided yet

I made my first blog entry ever about this (and it's really long, took two blog posts to be able to finish it all since I reached the maximum capacity of a post before finishing).. if anyone takes the time to read it please leave me with any feedback/support/tips... wish me luck

 

[woamotive]

Last month I almost lost my job. I've been on final warning/written final warning for months... I was given a LAST last chance. I ended up explaining to my boss that I am entering treatment for a heroin addiction. I do not think this is necessarily what you should do as it really depends on the relationship between you and your boss. I knew from the past few years in the office that it was the only thing I could do to keep my job. Now, as a result I am getting minimal hours, as my boss would be stupid to knowingly give me fulltime work... its a liability for the company. I'm having to prove myself every single day. One (more) fuck up and I'm gone. For good...

I last took herpin 15 days ago. I used suboxone/subutex at 2-6 mg for 10 days and basically got through my withdrawal on 6 strips/tabs. Then, I entered a methadone program. I went from almost 2 grams of H a day (+~200mg oxy) to 25 mg methadone... took my dose an hour ago. I'm thinking I'll discontinue the program in the next week and go to daily meetings. I don't want my done dose raised unessecarily and for a methadone dependency to take over.

Bottom line? Do what you must to get better. You CAN. --Pot (daily, yes.... 'as needed' is what I'd advise) helps enormously.

 

[jones-in_J]

Last month I almost lost my job. I've been on final warning/written final warning for months... I was given a LAST last chance. I ended up explaining to my boss that I am entering treatment for a heroin addiction. I do not think this is necessarily what you should do as it really depends on the relationship between you and your boss. I knew from the past few years in the office that it was the only thing I could do to keep my job. Now, as a result I am getting minimal hours, as my boss would be stupid to knowingly give me fulltime work... its a liability for the company. I'm having to prove myself every single day. One (more) fuck up and I'm gone. For good...

I last took herpin 15 days ago. I used suboxone/subutex at 2-6 mg for 10 days and basically got through my withdrawal on 6 strips/tabs. Then, I entered a methadone program. I went from almost 2 grams of H a day (+~200mg oxy) to 25 mg methadone... took my dose an hour ago. I'm thinking I'll discontinue the program in the next week and go to daily meetings. I don't want my done dose raised unessecarily and for a methadone dependency to take over.

Bottom line? Do what you must to get better. You CAN. --Pot (daily, yes.... 'as needed' is what I'd advise) helps enormously.

Yea pots the only thing i plan on continuing, it just sucks how its illegal and shows up on drug tests longer then everything else. If theyd finally bring medical marijuana in maryland id be golden cuz i have crohns disease

Good thing we have our brilliant legislatures who know better then me the evils of the cannibus plant and that itd be safer to prescribe an opiate loving heroin addict percoset instead -____-

 

[drewbocop]

Why don't you get on a regular maintenance program? You know as well as I do you don't just QUIT Heroin for good. Get on Sub or Methadone maintenance, show your boss the paper work, and then there's no more liability. He can fire you for being a street druggie. He cannot fire you for being a scripted junkie or junkie in recovery. (If it's not effecting your performance... no nodding out or taking it with benzos and other shit to try to keep the buzz going.)

I really do wish you the best of luck. I almost lost my job when I came to work on Opana and Xanax and nodded out in the middle of one of the aisles where two of my managers found me. They began humiliating me and gave me the nick name of "drug dude" until I quit and moved 1 month later. This was at a Wal-Mart though, so it was quite the relief to get the fuck out of there and the entire state of Arkansas. Fuck Arkansas.

 

[jones-in_J]

Why don't you get on a regular maintenance program? You know as well as I do you don't just QUIT Heroin for good. Get on Sub or Methadone maintenance, show your boss the paper work, and then there's no more liability. He can fire you for being a street druggie. He cannot fire you for being a scripted junkie or junkie in recovery. (If it's not effecting your performance... no nodding out or taking it with benzos and other shit to try to keep the buzz going.)

I really do wish you the best of luck. I almost lost my job when I came to work on Opana and Xanax and nodded out in the middle of one of the aisles where two of my managers found me. They began humiliating me and gave me the nick name of "drug dude" until I quit and moved 1 month later. This was at a Wal-Mart though, so it was quite the relief to get the fuck out of there and the entire state of Arkansas. Fuck Arkansas.

Before I got back on heroin i was prescribed percoset and even with my legal script I saw a lot of changes I didn't like in myself. So you're right - although maybe he couldn't fire me for being a scripted junkie it's not what I want to be.

people DO just quit heroin for good though that's where you're wrong - and I'd like to be one of those people. I considered entering a maintenance program but I have a close relative of mine who was on suboxone for over 3 years and I do not want that to be how I have to get clean. Besides, I've tried being on suboxone maintenance before and it didn't work for me.. something about waking up in the morning and taking something like that keeps my mind in the drug-state and makes me want to get high. I don't feel like typing more reasons but I have them, I just know a maintenance program won't work for me.

Oh and as for methadone I refuse to ever get on that, everyone I know who's been on it says it's been the worst mistake they ever made. Actually I take that back I know ONE guy who it worked for and he was on it 3 years before getting off of it and not going back to anything else. But that's one out of like a hundred.

I can get more subs if the 5 that I have isn't enough to get through all of the withdrawals as painlessly as I'd like to.. but I'm not going to get enough to be on it for months and months - a couple weeks at the very very most but that really shouldn't be necessary

 

[drewbocop]

Before I got back on heroin i was prescribed percoset and even with my legal script I saw a lot of changes I didn't like in myself. So you're right - although maybe he couldn't fire me for being a scripted junkie it's not what I want to be.

people DO just quit heroin for good though that's where you're wrong - and I'd like to be one of those people. I considered entering a maintenance program but I have a close relative of mine who was on suboxone for over 3 years and I do not want that to be how I have to get clean. Besides, I've tried being on suboxone maintenance before and it didn't work for me.. something about waking up in the morning and taking something like that keeps my mind in the drug-state and makes me want to get high. I don't feel like typing more reasons but I have them, I just know a maintenance program won't work for me.

Oh and as for methadone I refuse to ever get on that, everyone I know who's been on it says it's been the worst mistake they ever made. Actually I take that back I know ONE guy who it worked for and he was on it 3 years before getting off of it and not going back to anything else. But that's one out of like a hundred.

I can get more subs if the 5 that I have isn't enough to get through all of the withdrawals as painlessly as I'd like to.. but I'm not going to get enough to be on it for months and months - a couple weeks at the very very most but that really shouldn't be necessary

I got a 30 day supply of Suboxone. 1 doctor visit per month. It's not as bad as waking up at 4:30 am to get to the clinic before it opens so you can be the first one in the door, lol.

And I used Methadone at a max of 120mg and I tapered and got off it shockingly easily in about a year.

You don't have to stay on these drugs, but I highly recommend you try. You sound like you're already preparing to quit for good, and you did for almost a year. If you truly think you can C/T once and for all, by all means, try. But I think I know how it ends.


Edit: I actually use Kratom daily. You could always try that too. Once you stabilize on a low dose of it, it actually becomes quite pleasant and you won't get sick like you would if you were gulping down mini mountains of it every 4 hours like I see some people do.

 

[jones-in_J]

I got a 30 day supply of Suboxone. 1 doctor visit per month. It's not as bad as waking up at 4:30 am to get to the clinic before it opens so you can be the first one in the door, lol.

And I used Methadone at a max of 120mg and I tapered and got off it shockingly easily in about a year.

You don't have to stay on these drugs, but I highly recommend you try. You sound like you're already preparing to quit for good, and you did for almost a year. If you truly think you can C/T once and for all, by all means, try. But I think I know how it ends.


Edit: I actually use Kratom daily. You could always try that too. Once you stabilize on a low dose of it, it actually becomes quite pleasant and you won't get sick like you would if you were gulping down mini mountains of it every 4 hours like I see some people do.

I'm not planning on going cold turkey, like I said I'm going to taper down with suboxone first but only with small ammounts. with the price of doctors - even if I stay on suboxone for more then just a couple of weeks it's not worth shelling out the $200 they want for a doctors visit for the stuff -- I'm talking very low doses that I'm going to be taking, hopefully starting at no more then 2 mg/day for the first couple days before tapering down to 1.5 mg then 1 mg then .5 ..... if I absolutely have to I'll take 4mg the first couple days but I've taken suboxone plenty of times before and know that the more I take it doesn't mean that it's going to be better or make it easier to come off of, actually it's been the opposite and most everything i've read on this site indicates that the experiences of others mirrors that

and yea i know kratom becomes more predictable the more that you use it but I still don't think I'll need it to come off of the dope. It worked great for cravings in the year that I was off heroin, I started taking it maybe 6 months after not taking anything at all and would do it once every 2 weeks to once a month and it was a life saver when it came to cravings. I think I'll save it for that once I'm able to kick bupe entirely