Hey, new member here but I have often browsed threads in the past on the forum to learn a lot about drugs and addiction. I am hooked on heroin, have been off an on with opiates for 2 years straight after a period in 2007 when I was doing oxy's almost every day (but I didn't really have bad w/d when I quit this). It is worth prefacing as well that I have done some form of narcotic nearly every day since 2006. Whether it be weed, alcohol, ecstasy, LSD, ketamine, adderall, valium, cocaine, or something else I've managed to find drugs have been a regular part of my life. Since this most recent addiction started I have managed to quit cold turkey 3 times, twice from shooting and once from snorting. The w/d was terrible all 3 times, after experiencing it with shooting my first 2 times I planned to never shoot again. I haven't been completely successful here and there have been a couple of times where I've shot with this most recent relapse and addiction, but living with my parents and having my arms exposed in the warm weather has helped as much as the memory of the w/d has at keeping me away from needles.
The present addiction was brought on by my girlfriend. We would do some pills or go down and pick up a bag of heroin most days. This escalated to me developing a dependency that I started to keep from her, she also hid her dependency from me I later would find out. In the middle of 2011 she became terminally ill. Emotionally I was ruined and heroin really helped me get through things. My addiction led me to needles and for about 6 months I was shooting regularly as her health slowly deteriorated. I promised myself I would quit before she died, so I tried to do this in spring of last year. I was clean for a few weeks, but as fate would have it a friend I had lost contact with called me looking for heroin. Mentally I was ready to relapse and so I did exactly this. My girlfriend had lost the ability to walk, her mental capacity had been diminished, and she was visibly only a few months away from dying. Throughout the summer I snorted with the occasional needle, eventually the needles became my main vice, and I quit cold turkey again in October. I was very active at this time so it helped ease the w/d. The first 2 days were hard, but after that I managed to cope as it just felt like a bad cold. I remained sober for about a month. The day before Thanksgiving stress took over and I called my friend and asked for a bag. This relapse has been the worst, I went from spending all my time high to having to conserve my money just to avoid w/d. Where I am now is a state where I am careful with each bag that I get as much out of it as I can and I don't feel sick at any point in time. My girlfriend recently lost her fight with her illness. Despite my sadness over her passing I know that now having the burden of watching her die lifted from my shoulders I can have the strength to get out from under the rock of my heroin addiction.
So, anyway, despite only exclusively snorting now I am on much more than I ever have been before. I average about 1.5 to 2 grams of heroin a day, and I'm mentally not prepared to go through a cold turkey w/d again. The mere thought of how much worse it could be has seen me engage in some addict behavior--selling a lot of my belongings and borrowing cash from friends--to get my next fix. I've had a couple chances to quit during this time. Twice a whole 24 hours has gone by between my last line and finding someone who I can buy from. Each time I thought, just for a second "I'm this far in I can quit... no I'm not doing that." However, I know that now the time is right. I've given you all a bit of my background, now I'm asking for a little bit of encouragement and advice.
I have 8 8mg suboxone films I recently picked up. I wasn't sure if these are enough to quit with, so I haven't started yet. Again, I do anywhere between 1.5g and 2g of heroin every day. I've had a number of recommendations from friends. One said I should use a scale to weigh out heroin, make sure when I do buy it I separate it into 1g bags and that is all I use over the course of a day. I repeat this for 4-5 days. Then I work my way down to .75 and then .5. After this is when he said I should start suboxone at 4mg each, by cutting the strip in half, and taper again every few days. Another told me just to start on 4mg of suboxone 24 hours after my last line and to stay with that dose every time I started to feel w/d symotoms coming on until I go through all of my strips. He claimed quitting would be easy then and the w/d wouldn't be that bad. Another told me to start on with 1 8mg suboxone, let that last as long as possible, go down to 6mg let it last, 4mg let it last, 2mg let it last, and then I'd be done with plenty of leftover suboxone to spare. Do any of these plans have validity? What has been the experience of people here as it relates to tapering with suboxone?
The major point is that I am terrified of another w/d. I don't want it and I know if I experience it I'll call everywhere for suboxone, but if I can't get any in short order I'm fearful of another relapse. Whatever I have to go through I want to make sure it's not a bad w/d.
So thank you for any and all help and support in advance. I'm looking forward to quitting for good. Mentally I've never felt this way about quitting, where it's something I am excited to do and not something I feel as if I need to do. I want to make sure I do it right, as a result I'm not in a rush to start today. The sooner the better though. Again, thank you.
The present addiction was brought on by my girlfriend. We would do some pills or go down and pick up a bag of heroin most days. This escalated to me developing a dependency that I started to keep from her, she also hid her dependency from me I later would find out. In the middle of 2011 she became terminally ill. Emotionally I was ruined and heroin really helped me get through things. My addiction led me to needles and for about 6 months I was shooting regularly as her health slowly deteriorated. I promised myself I would quit before she died, so I tried to do this in spring of last year. I was clean for a few weeks, but as fate would have it a friend I had lost contact with called me looking for heroin. Mentally I was ready to relapse and so I did exactly this. My girlfriend had lost the ability to walk, her mental capacity had been diminished, and she was visibly only a few months away from dying. Throughout the summer I snorted with the occasional needle, eventually the needles became my main vice, and I quit cold turkey again in October. I was very active at this time so it helped ease the w/d. The first 2 days were hard, but after that I managed to cope as it just felt like a bad cold. I remained sober for about a month. The day before Thanksgiving stress took over and I called my friend and asked for a bag. This relapse has been the worst, I went from spending all my time high to having to conserve my money just to avoid w/d. Where I am now is a state where I am careful with each bag that I get as much out of it as I can and I don't feel sick at any point in time. My girlfriend recently lost her fight with her illness. Despite my sadness over her passing I know that now having the burden of watching her die lifted from my shoulders I can have the strength to get out from under the rock of my heroin addiction.
So, anyway, despite only exclusively snorting now I am on much more than I ever have been before. I average about 1.5 to 2 grams of heroin a day, and I'm mentally not prepared to go through a cold turkey w/d again. The mere thought of how much worse it could be has seen me engage in some addict behavior--selling a lot of my belongings and borrowing cash from friends--to get my next fix. I've had a couple chances to quit during this time. Twice a whole 24 hours has gone by between my last line and finding someone who I can buy from. Each time I thought, just for a second "I'm this far in I can quit... no I'm not doing that." However, I know that now the time is right. I've given you all a bit of my background, now I'm asking for a little bit of encouragement and advice.
I have 8 8mg suboxone films I recently picked up. I wasn't sure if these are enough to quit with, so I haven't started yet. Again, I do anywhere between 1.5g and 2g of heroin every day. I've had a number of recommendations from friends. One said I should use a scale to weigh out heroin, make sure when I do buy it I separate it into 1g bags and that is all I use over the course of a day. I repeat this for 4-5 days. Then I work my way down to .75 and then .5. After this is when he said I should start suboxone at 4mg each, by cutting the strip in half, and taper again every few days. Another told me just to start on 4mg of suboxone 24 hours after my last line and to stay with that dose every time I started to feel w/d symotoms coming on until I go through all of my strips. He claimed quitting would be easy then and the w/d wouldn't be that bad. Another told me to start on with 1 8mg suboxone, let that last as long as possible, go down to 6mg let it last, 4mg let it last, 2mg let it last, and then I'd be done with plenty of leftover suboxone to spare. Do any of these plans have validity? What has been the experience of people here as it relates to tapering with suboxone?
The major point is that I am terrified of another w/d. I don't want it and I know if I experience it I'll call everywhere for suboxone, but if I can't get any in short order I'm fearful of another relapse. Whatever I have to go through I want to make sure it's not a bad w/d.
So thank you for any and all help and support in advance. I'm looking forward to quitting for good. Mentally I've never felt this way about quitting, where it's something I am excited to do and not something I feel as if I need to do. I want to make sure I do it right, as a result I'm not in a rush to start today. The sooner the better though. Again, thank you.