Maybe you couldn’t do that but I know I can. For six days I’ve been horribly suffering with the cure two steps away. My willpower is really good. I only even got addicted in the first place cause when I was 18 I didn’t know you could get addicted like this. So then I was pretty much forced to do it all the time or withdraw which wasn’t an option.
I do believe you. But don't think how you are now can't or won't change. At the start of my career as an opioid user I had far more discretion and control. But it didnt take long before my behavior started to deteriorate faster than I could lower my standards.
Keep up the good work!
Sorry if this is TMI, but from personal experience these should be in your pharmacopoeia:
Loperamide HCl (Immodium) 2mg. A weak partial mu-agonist it might be more than enough where you're at currently. You'll need to take 2-3 tablets, but you can repeat the dose every 4 hours.
Benadryl (diphenhydramine 25 mg) for sleep - ideally one or 1 1/2 because any more can exacerbate restlessness
Acetaminophen extra-strength 500mg. For pain. Believe it or not this stuff works and is far safer than ibuprophen, Aleve or even aspirin. As long as you take 500mg every 4 to 6 hours. Regular strength of 325 mg even works to alleviate nagging aches of the sort is that one becomes more acutely aware of in your situation... For me 500 is perfect. If you feel like it add one 325 mg aspirin, but try not to make it a habit because aspirin can cause stomach ulcers.
DLPA dl-phenylalanine... might be harder to find at a store, but this amino acid supplement is easily purchased online from many good companies that are cheap... Life Extension is one. L-phenylalanine is naturally occurring while the D isomer, which just means the mirror image of the same exact molecule, is pretty easily made from natural ingredients. And it's the D isomer that you want, because that can be used by your body to create endorphins. If you just see l-phenylalanine skip it
Pepto Bismol liquid and milk of magnesia, aka the pink and the white... First one for nausea and diarrhea ( although you probably shouldn't combine it with loperamide) well the second one is a gentle overnight laxative in case you are taking loperamide in larger than recommended doses.
By the way, even if you don't want to do it, push ups jumping jacks and going for walks will really help even though they might suck while you're doing them