I mean but wow . . SNORt HE HIS WAY INTO THIS
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I am just now about 80 minutes into my first time with mephedrone . . . never tried it but suddenly remembered that I had a 200mg sample stashed away somewhere... friday night, due to many nights out in recent past happy to stay home without cabin fever and enjoy myself home alone.
as an ex-methylone fiend (20gr+) I have to say this is quite different despite similarities. Speedier and drunker... less heart chakra but WAY more sexual chakra stuff.
DRUNK (alcohol) +
EMPATHY (mdma) +
DIZZY (heh, whatever...drunk? ghb / kratom-like)
HORNY as all hell ... must get my hands on some more to test with girlfriend.
Now about 90 minutes into it... still coming up because I snorted it in small increments... first one maybe 20mg... slowly added as I started feeling tingles and flashes of "wowwmmm" and kept adding faster and with bigger lines... till all gone. DEFINITELY FIENDISH, and should I indeed obtain some then I hope I can gtlo slow and not do too much in a night (reports aplenty suggest that is unwise) and not do it too often. All that of course pending acceptable mbodysoulmind till day 4 or so after the experience, to be sure with the serotonin hole issue. (Because the very rare cousin of this -- this one here being 4-methyl-meth-cath, and the cousin being 4-methoxy-meth-cath --- gave me a HUGE serotonin slump, post-use depression, after I'd used a double dose twice within 4 days. Was truly and abominably miserable for a week after that. I loved it but would refrain from obtaining more simply because the low was awful.
Having said that I am a volatile person really. Hypomanic/moderately depressed... bipolar... and it's haapend with so many of thse stims ... feel great and then feel crap. Loved my methylone till it got the better of me and showed me how easily i can become a fiend with no principles but pleasure. That was hard lesson to learn and I don't wanna go all the way back there, I feel like I (should) have learnt something ... well I understood something but I suppose it is only learnt when we can apply the understanding to our lives in a positive transformative or supportive way . . . this is a lot like it... 4FA is another one of those. i LOOOOVED it at first... haha almost no comedown,. that's because it's so treacherous, even the next day i can almost still feel it and it tinges my vision and my hearing, my touch,m indeed all my senses... i am dulled, I am "that" ... kind of blah. Feels, hmm, like being 'taken over' . . . drug auto pilot... Where is self? What is self? hence my reservation ... do I really want to explore another stimulant? 4FA is just... a cloak. Brightener fluffmaker, fuzzy yellower, ultimately unwise, unbebeficial. Easy letdown but feeling fuuzy blah till mid midweek. Not depressed per se but kinda unmotivted and unbothered to think about it all too much. Medium-term some moodswings but .. ok. Not much total desperation, only little anxiety. Anxiety is what I get when I take too much coke (and very little can be too much) or MDPV.
Coke and MDPV were never my thing. Too soon I got too stressed out (are these the releasers rather than the reuptake inhibitors?) - the plateau of sexually excited euphoria and the hard crash of "wow man this is serious now my fingers are cold, my jaw is grinding i am overstimulated and all this feel like an effort" ... nahm, don't like that. Dysphoria and Worry.
Eth-Cath I tried. VERY nice. Nice at home and nice with beers out with friend... if I drink enough I don't even realise much of a comedown bar some scatteredness. Tried it at a concert, with beer as I often do when going out, and had fun. But again easily overstimulated, and sadly i find that once that has happened there is no way out till sleep. So at this concert where i took eth-cath... (and probably K and a but stoned and 3 beers or so, cos that's my weekend going-out staple, plus coca-leabes sometimes) ... I had GREAT FUN.... Till it wore off. became weary, bit negative, wistful... top-up didn't work. no top-ups with eth-cath... nos is that good or bad? probably good but makes it hard to use when going out... crashes too soon... so does methyone, I find... i didn't use to think so but now I do...
hah but this is turning into journal stuff. I just took a break from my Tokyo Erotica porn Watching session in the living room to share with you all my first impressions of my first experience on 4-mmc aka mephedrone, I mean wow what i talkative fucker i am now, hahaha! benn onm Bluelight for years now, not been reading or posting much any more the last year or(or two, almost) because i have in the process of repositioning myself in relation to drugs and decided to allot them a smaller space in the canvas ogf my life . . .
but then ... everything changes.... some 10 days ago I took E with my new partner... my first time in 11 months .. her first time EVER .... it was nothing short of stunning on many personal levels I will not share here... but what strikes me is I didn't get a comedown.... I know i am in love and it helped us bond.... but still , moody bastard that I was until the day i took the MDMA, I am nothing short of amazed at how much better i am now.
So why spoil it with more drugs (beloved new partner is away, no reunion for 5 or 6 months) ... haha. Anyway, this one got me writing. i am thinking of obtaining some because I feel like it could be fun to take ti with her. Indeed a sexy drug.... and the empathy.... for fuck's sake... this is grumpy ximot telling the "other drugs" forum his experience of 200mg mephedrone intranasally snorted over the period of 80 minutes.... I haven't been on BL much recently, but I think of this space quite a bit... i wish you all well... and I type and I type... straight into the Thread reply window. i will post this now, before some bad click erases it forever. and then I will copy paste it into my first journal. I am going to open a journal now. This is my first journal entry. Thank you, world!
EDIT. ah yeah I also took 0.5gr K just before i started writing. Often when I take K, especially in combination with stimulants, I feel like I have taken a truth drug . . . and I wrote non-stop for hlf an hour. Wow, sometimes I still do surprise myself. Now, whas this progress (am I becoming more creative and expansive and affirmative?) or regression (falling back into old habits... deadpan posts endlessly reiterating and not helping me...). I wonder. Sometimes...
Those of you who know me well and who have read all this, perhaps you can tell me... this is kinda how I want to be all the time without drugs, yet minus the drama that comes with being a tad overwhelmed.
A warm thank you to all who interacted with me over the years and made my Bluelight time a memorable one, and one I am glad to have been a part of for so long so far.
damn... and i started by telling u all it was a horny drug... hahaha. no girl here and started thinking about things while watching that film... and then got so into my thoughts, like wow, and felt compelled to share. And I don't feel horny now. Just ... thinky in a good way, and I have a bit of a gurn . . . @T+2hr...so, from first snort to last snort it took me just under an hour really.... 200mg wheeeeeeee
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am just now about 80 minutes into my first time with mephedrone . . . never tried it but suddenly remembered that I had a 200mg sample stashed away somewhere... friday night, due to many nights out in recent past happy to stay home without cabin fever and enjoy myself home alone.
as an ex-methylone fiend (20gr+) I have to say this is quite different despite similarities. Speedier and drunker... less heart chakra but WAY more sexual chakra stuff.
DRUNK (alcohol) +
EMPATHY (mdma) +
DIZZY (heh, whatever...drunk? ghb / kratom-like)
HORNY as all hell ... must get my hands on some more to test with girlfriend.
Now about 90 minutes into it... still coming up because I snorted it in small increments... first one maybe 20mg... slowly added as I started feeling tingles and flashes of "wowwmmm" and kept adding faster and with bigger lines... till all gone. DEFINITELY FIENDISH, and should I indeed obtain some then I hope I can gtlo slow and not do too much in a night (reports aplenty suggest that is unwise) and not do it too often. All that of course pending acceptable mbodysoulmind till day 4 or so after the experience, to be sure with the serotonin hole issue. (Because the very rare cousin of this -- this one here being 4-methyl-meth-cath, and the cousin being 4-methoxy-meth-cath --- gave me a HUGE serotonin slump, post-use depression, after I'd used a double dose twice within 4 days. Was truly and abominably miserable for a week after that. I loved it but would refrain from obtaining more simply because the low was awful.
Having said that I am a volatile person really. Hypomanic/moderately depressed... bipolar... and it's haapend with so many of thse stims ... feel great and then feel crap. Loved my methylone till it got the better of me and showed me how easily i can become a fiend with no principles but pleasure. That was hard lesson to learn and I don't wanna go all the way back there, I feel like I (should) have learnt something ... well I understood something but I suppose it is only learnt when we can apply the understanding to our lives in a positive transformative or supportive way . . . this is a lot like it... 4FA is another one of those. i LOOOOVED it at first... haha almost no comedown,. that's because it's so treacherous, even the next day i can almost still feel it and it tinges my vision and my hearing, my touch,m indeed all my senses... i am dulled, I am "that" ... kind of blah. Feels, hmm, like being 'taken over' . . . drug auto pilot... Where is self? What is self? hence my reservation ... do I really want to explore another stimulant? 4FA is just... a cloak. Brightener fluffmaker, fuzzy yellower, ultimately unwise, unbebeficial. Easy letdown but feeling fuuzy blah till mid midweek. Not depressed per se but kinda unmotivted and unbothered to think about it all too much. Medium-term some moodswings but .. ok. Not much total desperation, only little anxiety. Anxiety is what I get when I take too much coke (and very little can be too much) or MDPV.
Coke and MDPV were never my thing. Too soon I got too stressed out (are these the releasers rather than the reuptake inhibitors?) - the plateau of sexually excited euphoria and the hard crash of "wow man this is serious now my fingers are cold, my jaw is grinding i am overstimulated and all this feel like an effort" ... nahm, don't like that. Dysphoria and Worry.
Eth-Cath I tried. VERY nice. Nice at home and nice with beers out with friend... if I drink enough I don't even realise much of a comedown bar some scatteredness. Tried it at a concert, with beer as I often do when going out, and had fun. But again easily overstimulated, and sadly i find that once that has happened there is no way out till sleep. So at this concert where i took eth-cath... (and probably K and a but stoned and 3 beers or so, cos that's my weekend going-out staple, plus coca-leabes sometimes) ... I had GREAT FUN.... Till it wore off. became weary, bit negative, wistful... top-up didn't work. no top-ups with eth-cath... nos is that good or bad? probably good but makes it hard to use when going out... crashes too soon... so does methyone, I find... i didn't use to think so but now I do...
hah but this is turning into journal stuff. I just took a break from my Tokyo Erotica porn Watching session in the living room to share with you all my first impressions of my first experience on 4-mmc aka mephedrone, I mean wow what i talkative fucker i am now, hahaha! benn onm Bluelight for years now, not been reading or posting much any more the last year or(or two, almost) because i have in the process of repositioning myself in relation to drugs and decided to allot them a smaller space in the canvas ogf my life . . .
but then ... everything changes.... some 10 days ago I took E with my new partner... my first time in 11 months .. her first time EVER .... it was nothing short of stunning on many personal levels I will not share here... but what strikes me is I didn't get a comedown.... I know i am in love and it helped us bond.... but still , moody bastard that I was until the day i took the MDMA, I am nothing short of amazed at how much better i am now.
So why spoil it with more drugs (beloved new partner is away, no reunion for 5 or 6 months) ... haha. Anyway, this one got me writing. i am thinking of obtaining some because I feel like it could be fun to take ti with her. Indeed a sexy drug.... and the empathy.... for fuck's sake... this is grumpy ximot telling the "other drugs" forum his experience of 200mg mephedrone intranasally snorted over the period of 80 minutes.... I haven't been on BL much recently, but I think of this space quite a bit... i wish you all well... and I type and I type... straight into the Thread reply window. i will post this now, before some bad click erases it forever. and then I will copy paste it into my first journal. I am going to open a journal now. This is my first journal entry. Thank you, world!
EDIT. ah yeah I also took 0.5gr K just before i started writing. Often when I take K, especially in combination with stimulants, I feel like I have taken a truth drug . . . and I wrote non-stop for hlf an hour. Wow, sometimes I still do surprise myself. Now, whas this progress (am I becoming more creative and expansive and affirmative?) or regression (falling back into old habits... deadpan posts endlessly reiterating and not helping me...). I wonder. Sometimes...
Those of you who know me well and who have read all this, perhaps you can tell me... this is kinda how I want to be all the time without drugs, yet minus the drama that comes with being a tad overwhelmed.
A warm thank you to all who interacted with me over the years and made my Bluelight time a memorable one, and one I am glad to have been a part of for so long so far.
damn... and i started by telling u all it was a horny drug... hahaha. no girl here and started thinking about things while watching that film... and then got so into my thoughts, like wow, and felt compelled to share. And I don't feel horny now. Just ... thinky in a good way, and I have a bit of a gurn . . . @T+2hr...so, from first snort to last snort it took me just under an hour really.... 200mg wheeeeeeee
