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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

Quick Girls get to poundland

He just wrote it to get cheap validation, brag about his cock size and exploit the female's innate jealousy of male genitalia.

It's not big, and it's not clever
 
Marmalade said:
Yes, the prostate thing is another Marmz envy. I've observed all manner of household objects used to improvise in such situations actually. :o
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Must admit it impressed me too. Had read of its magical powers but until you experience it it's really not a thing you can quite believe. Is literally instant. Quite bizarre. Also guaranteed to put a smile on a fella's face no matter how unsure about the procedure he initially may be :D

Also, I don't think genital envy is exclusive to women. I'd kill for a fanny. Well, maim certainly.
 
RLP said:
I can oblige.

As a man, like any other man, I love shoving things up my anus. Having toyed around with my finger for many months I decided to invest in a couple of butt plugs. I opened up the first and to my disappointment it was a little on the small side, but on the plus side it vibrated. I couldn't wait to try it out, so I lubed myself up and slipped the purple tickler in. It was OK, but fell out quite easily due to the small stature of the beast. With frustration I moved on to the next toy I bought and took it out of the box.

Holy.Fucking.Christ.

This was way bigger than I'd ever anticipated. I looked at this gigantic thing which wouldn't have looked out of place on a 6'5 tanked up black dude and could only laugh. I checked the website I bought it from and sure enough, I'd rushed too quickly to buy and what I thought was going to be 4 or 5 inches was actually 10 inches long and had a much greater width than my own cock could boast.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, eventually I got it to fit, but had some trouble getting it out after I'd finished crusting my chest hair. After a bit of tugging, with chunklets of shit dropping out of my ass at the same, I'd noticed I'd started to bleed. To this day I have never reused the larger of the two toys.
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Really well written actually.

I was gripped throughout every word of that. The suspense before he revealed he was going to push the whole thing up there was just unreal.
 
RLP is EADD's Prophet ... and he writes the scripture... he sticks to the tru fax, and always manages to exibit empathy to all mankind.

We need his archives bringing together to form EADDs bible
 
The EADD bible. Yeah trust you lot to base it around sticking large objects up your sphincter.

"Money shot" pffft! We'll just say the EADD idea of heaven and mine do not exactly coalesce.
 
But your behaviour in EADD doesn't necessarily coalasce with the idea of heaven.

You can't be wriggling out that one so easily. You may have botty issues but everything/one else youre en par with as far as I can tell, in terms of deviancy

And what's wrong with 'Money Shots', we've all seen them before. It's a little spurt of manliness expressing gratitude.
 
lol me? a sinner?

marms... as I once said to BHM.

A true troll does it because deep down he loves his forum. He knows that by employing a little deviance here and there, stirring a few people occasionally, coming out with the grotesque... makes the forum a little more entertaining and interesting for the rest of you.

I am good-hearted in my soul, and all action that breathes from me - whether it outwardly appears to be vice, provocation or benevolence - is all done out of love, and for the benefit of each and everyone of you.















































what the fuck am I writing
 
I think that might translated to RPL is not EADDs Phrophet, I AM


*kneels before Zod*
 
^ lol wtf?

What drugs are u on? Judging by the fact its gone 5am im guessing its that "quality speed", eh? ;)
 
mydrugbuddy said:
ive heard tale of sperm donor clinics and should a 'volunteer' require 'help' unfortunately he does not get a 'helping hand' from female clinicians but some kind of electrode is pressed somewhere (the guy didnt specify where and i didnt think to ask) and yeah instant gratification is produced.
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i forgot to add, most importantly, the guy said that this was the best orgasm of his life. Must look into electrodes. :sus:
 
mydrugbuddy said:
i forgot to add, most importantly, the guy said that this was the best orgasm of his life. Must look into electrodes. :sus:
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Maybe look into one of these Female thingys ?

I can verify that they are capable of creating the sensation you are after as well they also provide company & some if yer really luck will cook for you but only if your a good boy .
 
Marmalade said:
RLP is EADD's Prophet ... and he writes the scripture... he sticks to the tru fax, and always manages to exibit empathy to all mankind.

We need his archives bringing together to form EADDs bible
Click to expand...
I would join the squirrel cult. =D
 
brimz said:
Maybe look into one of these Female thingys ?

I can verify that they are capable of creating the sensation you are after as well they also provide company & some if yer really luck will cook for you but only if your a good boy .
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you mean one of those fleshlight things ? Man id feel like a sad looser to have to buy one of those. Somehow experimenting with zapping myself with electrodes doesnt seem so sad lol. Plus they result in epic FCS.
 
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