To begin with, I feel I need to give some background info. I have been experimenting with psychedelics for about 5 years, I am now a 20 year old college student with very reliable connections for many psychedelics, but the one that always alluded me was DMT. I have had 50 plus experiences each with mushrooms, LSD, various 2C's, and several experiences with potent salvia I purchased before it was prohibited in my state. I have heard many stories from friends who had done it at festivals and so forth, but it just never came my way until recently, when a recent acquaintance of mine acquired a half ounce of nearly pure white dmt. I instantly jumped at the opportunity and purchased a gram.
I have researched DMT on Erowid and the like for several years, listened to McKenna's speeches, and consumed all the knowledge about the drug I could. I was nervous on the drive over, but I felt ready. I knew fear and other strong emotions would be the death of my trip, so I meditated for a bit beforehand. I felt like a kid on xmas morning when the time finally came. The first dose was rather small, as I had asked, maybe 10-15 mgs. My lighting technique at the time wasn't as good as it is now a week later, but I didn't fuck it up. The first thing I noticed, even before exhaling, was an intense, almost opiate like body high, however, I found it unpleasant. VERY unpleasant. It almost feels like I'm sick sitting in a hospital bed. There was also a very strange head feeling, like my brain is boiling or something, and very lightheaded. Then the ringing in the ears. It permeated every aspect of my existence. There was absolutely no getting rid of it. The psychedelic state on the other hand? Meh. No visuals to speak of, except very minor popcorn ceiling movements, no typical acid "mindfuck". I knew exactly where I was, I was calm, taking deep breaths, but the unpleasant body rush continued. Pretty much for the next 3-4 minutes I waited for it to end. That was all that mattered, getting away from the pressure on my body and...whatever was going on in my head. After the nausea and bad feelings dissipated, I felt better. I could now focus on other aspects of the drug I was far too distracted to notice earlier. The visuals increased, colors brightened, but no kaleidoscope patterns or any major visual distortions.
After it was over, I was ashamed to admit that I didn't enjoy it. I didn't want to accept it then, and I don't really want to now. I have seen at least 8 people try it, and for them it seems to be a state of bliss even without blasting off. I have dosed approximately 12-14 times since that first one, and have yet to blast off. Every time since the first I have had the same issues as the first time and I always regret doing it the second I feel the rush coming on. I have tried larger doses in the 25-30 mg range, which only make the same issues worse, although I do get absolutely assaulted with closed eye visuals on higher doses and find it enjoyable, the body high and pressure are intensified, and in one instance I vomited.
My question is, are the body high and tinnitus completely negated by blasting off, or could it potentially get worse for someone who doesn't enjoy it to begin with? I've been told that at low doses it is primarily a body high and that once you blast off, you wont be in your body anymore. I really want to enjoy this drug, but low doses are almost like punishment. I have tried several times to get there, but I can always feel the rush hitting me before I'm done inhaling my first hit, I'm out of it by the time I exhale that, and I get too scared to hit it again. I have been in love with psychedelics since my first boomer trip, and I am so happy to have found one of the most powerful psychedelics on the planet, I was just not expecting such an intense "fucked up" feeling. Any help in this predicament would be greatly appreciated.
I have researched DMT on Erowid and the like for several years, listened to McKenna's speeches, and consumed all the knowledge about the drug I could. I was nervous on the drive over, but I felt ready. I knew fear and other strong emotions would be the death of my trip, so I meditated for a bit beforehand. I felt like a kid on xmas morning when the time finally came. The first dose was rather small, as I had asked, maybe 10-15 mgs. My lighting technique at the time wasn't as good as it is now a week later, but I didn't fuck it up. The first thing I noticed, even before exhaling, was an intense, almost opiate like body high, however, I found it unpleasant. VERY unpleasant. It almost feels like I'm sick sitting in a hospital bed. There was also a very strange head feeling, like my brain is boiling or something, and very lightheaded. Then the ringing in the ears. It permeated every aspect of my existence. There was absolutely no getting rid of it. The psychedelic state on the other hand? Meh. No visuals to speak of, except very minor popcorn ceiling movements, no typical acid "mindfuck". I knew exactly where I was, I was calm, taking deep breaths, but the unpleasant body rush continued. Pretty much for the next 3-4 minutes I waited for it to end. That was all that mattered, getting away from the pressure on my body and...whatever was going on in my head. After the nausea and bad feelings dissipated, I felt better. I could now focus on other aspects of the drug I was far too distracted to notice earlier. The visuals increased, colors brightened, but no kaleidoscope patterns or any major visual distortions.
After it was over, I was ashamed to admit that I didn't enjoy it. I didn't want to accept it then, and I don't really want to now. I have seen at least 8 people try it, and for them it seems to be a state of bliss even without blasting off. I have dosed approximately 12-14 times since that first one, and have yet to blast off. Every time since the first I have had the same issues as the first time and I always regret doing it the second I feel the rush coming on. I have tried larger doses in the 25-30 mg range, which only make the same issues worse, although I do get absolutely assaulted with closed eye visuals on higher doses and find it enjoyable, the body high and pressure are intensified, and in one instance I vomited.
My question is, are the body high and tinnitus completely negated by blasting off, or could it potentially get worse for someone who doesn't enjoy it to begin with? I've been told that at low doses it is primarily a body high and that once you blast off, you wont be in your body anymore. I really want to enjoy this drug, but low doses are almost like punishment. I have tried several times to get there, but I can always feel the rush hitting me before I'm done inhaling my first hit, I'm out of it by the time I exhale that, and I get too scared to hit it again. I have been in love with psychedelics since my first boomer trip, and I am so happy to have found one of the most powerful psychedelics on the planet, I was just not expecting such an intense "fucked up" feeling. Any help in this predicament would be greatly appreciated.
