L
Longfiend
Guest
Ive quit mdone cold turkey 3 weeks ago and not relapsed yet though I've hade it in my hands twice since stopping. Im 30 and have not been off the needle since around 16 except while in jail or the 2 yrs I went to the mdone clinic. Still did h, sold my take homes blahblah.
So I've been having extreme cravings for h, my DoC. .I find myself doing things I don't like just to try to stop the cravings and be able to work, like uppers. I don't like uppers. I enjoy a good speedball and find iv coke of good quality enjoyable but my life long needle. It's lead me to homelessness living in the woods alone talking to the needle saying stuff like "wow this a huge shot, probably lots of fent in it, don't kill me please. OK well you can kill me, I could never stay mad at you" all alone.
Anyway I've turned down free h and mdone handed to me and wouldn't do it, I know 3 weeks is a joke to most but it's 3 weeks longer than I've ever voluntarily quit before. I just had a son and promised myself I'd only do this stupid shit as long as I was only fuckin up my own life. I couldn't live with myself if I stayed on H with him in this world (unless I'm an old man with a few months to live, in that case I'm going to be shooting space H into my pupils Orr w.e ppl do in the future.
TL DR I have brand new ampoules of Phenergan and benedryl and have shot them a few times. The Phenergan burned like hell and gave horrid tracks. I've read that it scorched veins. IV benedryl was weak but I'd take handfuls of them to increase my nod daily on H and 50 mg is nothing for me, I'd need 10 times that minimum. Last night I ate some bars. Filled 2 rigs so full there was barely enough room to get a flash to see if I was in. Tied off well and quickly shot both rigs full into the last 2 use able veins in that arm. Wife helped. Did a semi slow push while ever so slightly releasing tourniquet and nothing really happened. Maybe all the bars overwhelmed it? Maybe tolerace is the issue. I just want to feel a little different. Wds still going. Getting to the end of it but I still can't sleep w/o benzos and have gone thru to rx in w days but I share them w my cousins since they took me in out of the cold but I'm cutting them off bc they're leeching meds I need to be able to get up and work.
Rehab isn't an option, I'm refusing all opiates and all my rigs are sterile and I only use them once, the meds are in Teri le ampoules straight from Dr office,
So I've been having extreme cravings for h, my DoC. .I find myself doing things I don't like just to try to stop the cravings and be able to work, like uppers. I don't like uppers. I enjoy a good speedball and find iv coke of good quality enjoyable but my life long needle. It's lead me to homelessness living in the woods alone talking to the needle saying stuff like "wow this a huge shot, probably lots of fent in it, don't kill me please. OK well you can kill me, I could never stay mad at you" all alone.
Anyway I've turned down free h and mdone handed to me and wouldn't do it, I know 3 weeks is a joke to most but it's 3 weeks longer than I've ever voluntarily quit before. I just had a son and promised myself I'd only do this stupid shit as long as I was only fuckin up my own life. I couldn't live with myself if I stayed on H with him in this world (unless I'm an old man with a few months to live, in that case I'm going to be shooting space H into my pupils Orr w.e ppl do in the future.
TL DR I have brand new ampoules of Phenergan and benedryl and have shot them a few times. The Phenergan burned like hell and gave horrid tracks. I've read that it scorched veins. IV benedryl was weak but I'd take handfuls of them to increase my nod daily on H and 50 mg is nothing for me, I'd need 10 times that minimum. Last night I ate some bars. Filled 2 rigs so full there was barely enough room to get a flash to see if I was in. Tied off well and quickly shot both rigs full into the last 2 use able veins in that arm. Wife helped. Did a semi slow push while ever so slightly releasing tourniquet and nothing really happened. Maybe all the bars overwhelmed it? Maybe tolerace is the issue. I just want to feel a little different. Wds still going. Getting to the end of it but I still can't sleep w/o benzos and have gone thru to rx in w days but I share them w my cousins since they took me in out of the cold but I'm cutting them off bc they're leeching meds I need to be able to get up and work.
Rehab isn't an option, I'm refusing all opiates and all my rigs are sterile and I only use them once, the meds are in Teri le ampoules straight from Dr office,
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