Mental Health Question about weird state of mind.

[siker]

Hello im Lukas from Poland, im asking here becouse i saw that here are smart people :D
My problem is touhgt because no one understand it clearly, maybe im not explanating good enough.
It is very painfull for me, im suffering on delusions for years i was hospitalized, but my biggest problem is that state of mind. It usually start when im trought some nervous situation like in the middle of my shift on work.
In the past one doctor told me that it could be an side effect of antipsychotics becouse i said to her that my eyes are going like to the top and i cant fight it. It passed on for half a year when i changed the medication.
It feels like the worst nightmare is becoming true, my fears are condensing in voices in my head but, the are not voices its more like telephatic sending thoughts.
When im going trough this i feel also fear.
I read about that side effect with muscles cramp and eyes curving to the top, maybe i have something near to this but i dont know.
It is passing by when i focus for example on a prayer and lay down and relax.
Couse of this state i couldnt do anything i give up my school, going out becouse i was scared that it will catch me in public. Now i can better pretend and fight with it but i would be really happy to live normaly. Maybe do u know what could it be?
Sorry for my English.

 

[herbavore]

Do you see a psychiatrist? Here is a website that might give you a perspective on the voices:http://www.hearing-voices.org/

P.S. your English is fine!:D

 

[siker]

Yes i have a good doctor, but i thnik he dont believe me about that weird state. Thank you for this site, i was always experiencing something strange even when i wasnt sick, but i always pulling back it couse of my beliefs, my religion dont accept magic. But i heard that there are some people with e.g telepathic gifts. Those voices are pretty helpful but only when u control it, don u think?

 

[herbavore]

I don't think anyone fully understands why some people have audio hallucinations but there probably is not just one cause. The bottom line is that if you do have them there are ways to live with them in a more healthy balanced state of mind as well as ways to lessen the intrusions into your own mind. I don't really have any metaphysical beliefs about voices (though I did when I experienced them when I was young). I think that is romanticizing something that is merely the symptom of an extreme psychological state. But learning to control them is a complicated path. I wish you both strength and patience while you figure this out.