zippermike
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2012
- Messages
- 18
I am a 31 year old man. About 10 years ago, I began taking Methadone. I'm not going into how or why. I started by taking 1 10mg tab daily. Slowly over the years I moved up from a single 10mg tab, up to 5 10mg tabs a day, or 50mg in total. Quitting has been....difficult for me. It's been something I've wanted to do for years but just never had the balls to do it.
I tried kicking the habit several times before. The first time was when I was 24. I tried quitting cold turkey off a 25mg daily dose. I was fine for the first day and after that all hell broke loose and my body said hell no. Somehow though, I made it through the withdrawals, which took around a week or a bit more for the worst symptoms to leave. I still had lots of lingering anxiety and other issues, but I managed to stay clean for 8 months. Then I had a cornea transplant the pain and wicked headaches were so bad that my doctor prescribed me Vicodin. Bad idea. I wanted so bad to refuse the prescription. I went out in my car and cried forever. I knew what would happen if I got that script filled. The problem was, my pain was simply too much to bear. I managed it 4 more days before I finally caved and got the prescription filled. Within a month I was right back on Methadone. I was more ashamed of myself then than I think ever.
Now let's fast forward to 2010. My methadone dose was now up to 40mg a day. One day I looked at myself in the mirror and realized what I'd become and it just sickened me. I tried to quit cold turkey again. This time I only made it to halfway through day 3 when I decided enough was enough and started using again.
Now here we are in present day. About 3 weeks ago, my mother passed. I loved my mom more than the world itself, and I promised myself on the night she died that I was getting off this demonic drug. That was the end of July. I was on a 50mg dose daily at that time. Since then I tapered off almost daily until I was down to 20mg, the same amount I was on last time I was able to quit. I know 3 weeks of tapering is almost worthless but I had to try something. It was coming around the time I'd have to get my Methdone supply refilled, and it was either then or nothing. So three weeks tapering was all I could do. 6 days ago, I took my last dose. I have been using pot(which I don't normally smoke) and Lorazepam(again, a newbie to me) to try and manage the withdrawals but they are still downright wicked. Much much more potent than the WD's I went through in times past.
The worst part is the rapid heart rate and increased blood pressure. I already take several high blood pressure medications, Lisinopril and Metoprolol. The increase in blood pressure is noticeable. I have a BP machine at home. My average BP over the past 2 years since I've had the machine was 124/78, which is right in the ideal range. My blood pressure now is 156/98. Now I know thats not super high, but its enough to give me massive headaches and stuff. Also my pulse is much higher. My average in the past 2 years has been 59. My pulse in the past 4 days has been between 71 and 93. I have also been getting these "flashes" where my heart will speed up all on its own, when I am just sitting doing nothing.
I went to the ER on day 4 of WDing. I told them my symptoms, but lied about the cause. The doctor was a familiar doc(I go to the ER on occasion for Kidney Stone issues and problems related to my hiatal hernia) so he didn't ask any questions. So anyway they ran EVERY test you can think of on my heart, kidneys, liver, you name it. They could find nothing wrong(other than my prior health issues that is). I thought for sure they'd find the Methadone and the jig would be up, but for some messed up reason they didn't. So anyway, I considered telling the doc the truth that night, and decided against it. So anyway he chalks my increased blood pressure and pulse up to panic attacks and prescribes me Ativan. These have helped considerably with some aspects of the withdrawals(the insomnia, and some of the anxiety) but they've done nothing for my heart or blood pressure.
So right now it is day 6 of WD. How long do I have left before my heart will slow down and give me a break here? The constant pulse in my ears feeling is driving me nuts, so are the near constant headaches, which I'd imagine have much to do with the increase in blood pressure. The Ativan+pot combo helps me sleep about 4-5 hours a nights, which if I recall from prior WD's is actually a pretty good thing. I am asking pretty much for a timeline here of when I can expect these symptoms to start abating. Restarting the Methadone is simply not an option for me. I took all the rest and flushed them. I will never touch another recreational drug other than pot(which I actually kinda like, which is a shock considering I never really cared for it). And yes I have heard Ativan is used recreationally too but I am only using it until the brunt of my WD's are over, and I always take only my prescribed dose of 1mg 2 times a day.
I tried kicking the habit several times before. The first time was when I was 24. I tried quitting cold turkey off a 25mg daily dose. I was fine for the first day and after that all hell broke loose and my body said hell no. Somehow though, I made it through the withdrawals, which took around a week or a bit more for the worst symptoms to leave. I still had lots of lingering anxiety and other issues, but I managed to stay clean for 8 months. Then I had a cornea transplant the pain and wicked headaches were so bad that my doctor prescribed me Vicodin. Bad idea. I wanted so bad to refuse the prescription. I went out in my car and cried forever. I knew what would happen if I got that script filled. The problem was, my pain was simply too much to bear. I managed it 4 more days before I finally caved and got the prescription filled. Within a month I was right back on Methadone. I was more ashamed of myself then than I think ever.
Now let's fast forward to 2010. My methadone dose was now up to 40mg a day. One day I looked at myself in the mirror and realized what I'd become and it just sickened me. I tried to quit cold turkey again. This time I only made it to halfway through day 3 when I decided enough was enough and started using again.
Now here we are in present day. About 3 weeks ago, my mother passed. I loved my mom more than the world itself, and I promised myself on the night she died that I was getting off this demonic drug. That was the end of July. I was on a 50mg dose daily at that time. Since then I tapered off almost daily until I was down to 20mg, the same amount I was on last time I was able to quit. I know 3 weeks of tapering is almost worthless but I had to try something. It was coming around the time I'd have to get my Methdone supply refilled, and it was either then or nothing. So three weeks tapering was all I could do. 6 days ago, I took my last dose. I have been using pot(which I don't normally smoke) and Lorazepam(again, a newbie to me) to try and manage the withdrawals but they are still downright wicked. Much much more potent than the WD's I went through in times past.
The worst part is the rapid heart rate and increased blood pressure. I already take several high blood pressure medications, Lisinopril and Metoprolol. The increase in blood pressure is noticeable. I have a BP machine at home. My average BP over the past 2 years since I've had the machine was 124/78, which is right in the ideal range. My blood pressure now is 156/98. Now I know thats not super high, but its enough to give me massive headaches and stuff. Also my pulse is much higher. My average in the past 2 years has been 59. My pulse in the past 4 days has been between 71 and 93. I have also been getting these "flashes" where my heart will speed up all on its own, when I am just sitting doing nothing.
I went to the ER on day 4 of WDing. I told them my symptoms, but lied about the cause. The doctor was a familiar doc(I go to the ER on occasion for Kidney Stone issues and problems related to my hiatal hernia) so he didn't ask any questions. So anyway they ran EVERY test you can think of on my heart, kidneys, liver, you name it. They could find nothing wrong(other than my prior health issues that is). I thought for sure they'd find the Methadone and the jig would be up, but for some messed up reason they didn't. So anyway, I considered telling the doc the truth that night, and decided against it. So anyway he chalks my increased blood pressure and pulse up to panic attacks and prescribes me Ativan. These have helped considerably with some aspects of the withdrawals(the insomnia, and some of the anxiety) but they've done nothing for my heart or blood pressure.
So right now it is day 6 of WD. How long do I have left before my heart will slow down and give me a break here? The constant pulse in my ears feeling is driving me nuts, so are the near constant headaches, which I'd imagine have much to do with the increase in blood pressure. The Ativan+pot combo helps me sleep about 4-5 hours a nights, which if I recall from prior WD's is actually a pretty good thing. I am asking pretty much for a timeline here of when I can expect these symptoms to start abating. Restarting the Methadone is simply not an option for me. I took all the rest and flushed them. I will never touch another recreational drug other than pot(which I actually kinda like, which is a shock considering I never really cared for it). And yes I have heard Ativan is used recreationally too but I am only using it until the brunt of my WD's are over, and I always take only my prescribed dose of 1mg 2 times a day.
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