Question about Love

[Oxy Blues]

I fell in love when i was 16; had A LOT of relationships before "the one" and A MILLION after, especially starting age 18 to 20 in which i've had countless relationships.. barely a year before i fell in love i was dating a girl and i 'thought' i loved her but a year later i found out that even 'HUGE HUGE crushes/likes' are nothing compared to real love. it was like magic. we dated for a year and 2 months. I've only had one other 'HUGE HUGE crush' after we broke up but it never developed or graduated to love and every other girl was a joke to me.. i just dated them for sex.. i still love her to this day, i think about her everyday, im not trying to dampen your spirits or anything but i personally believe that true love only hits you once in a lifetime unless some girl could prove me wrong and make me fall in love with her (which i now highly doubt because ever since the day we broke up i've been a player and i've learnt quite a few tricks to make a girl go crazy about me and i wouldn't even show any kind of affection..)
That could just be me though or i could be wrong. just thought I'd share my experience cuz i feel you dude.. hang in there and i bet you'll probably have a 'HUGE HUGE crush' for your girl if you really do like her and she is in love with you.

 

[Pagey]

Does anyone else do this after a breakup? I've been glued to my phone, since the break up, in hopes that she contacts me again. I don't even know what I'd do, what she would say, what I would reply - but I just want to hear from her. I distinctly remember doing the same thing the last time I had a relationship end. It's rather annoying, especially because I find myself wondering why I want to hear back from her so badly. I'm sure there are others here who do this as well?

That's perfectly normal, don't worry. Just try to remember that it's best if neither of you get in contact though. Clean breaks are by far the easier ones to deal with in the long-run.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Does anyone else do this after a breakup? I've been glued to my phone, since the break up, in hopes that she contacts me again. I don't even know what I'd do, what she would say, what I would reply - but I just want to hear from her. I distinctly remember doing the same thing the last time I had a relationship end. It's rather annoying, especially because I find myself wondering why I want to hear back from her so badly. I'm sure there are others here who do this as well?

sorry omen_owen mk2, that's really shitty.
@Lady Codone: It's quite a relief to hear that. I was wondering if I had lost that ability.

Yeah I'm doing exactly the same thing at the moment. Now I can't have her I want her more than ever

Life was much simpler when I was a junkie I swear.

 

[Giog]

And alas, the terrible loneliness has settled in. Why is it that everyone I have been with always seems to get over the relationship much better than me. I'm having an incredibly hard time without her and yet, why isn't she too? Why doesn't she contact me, like I have her? (and got shut down). It always seems to end this way. I'm the loser who still wants to be together despite them being the ones in the relationship who were more attached to me than vice versa.

*I was going to delete this, but I left it just to remind myself that I do in fact still care about her, and do in fact, still want a relationship*

 

[Giog]

Turns out she left me for some other dude. I'm pretty upset and hurt - which I wasn't really feeling until I got this closure. Also, I am extremely scared about having contracted something viral from her (bacterial already confirmed). I've told her to get tested and report back. I really hope she does. I am very scared right now.

Oh, and I pathetically reached out to her trying to get her back! Of course, that did not work. Honestly, being single is pretty shitty. This made me realize more than ever that I really do want a relationship. A relationship with someone like her. Someone caring. Someone who isn't afraid of being intimate. I really fuken miss that.

 

[Giog]

After having given all of this more thought, a few questions or tribulations still remain.

-Where do you draw the line between, pursuing someone you love hoping to get them back, and ignoring them hoping that they pursue you after realizing it was a mistake? More importantly, what does it say about me when I am still thinking about these questions? I never know what to do in these situations. I have been the one to fall deeply in love, confessed and got rejected. This time, they confessed, I didn't reciprocate, and only when I lost them did I come to realize that I did indeed love them. You could say that I did not yet know what love was. In my previous two relationships I was enthralled by them from the second we met eyes. In this relationship, I often found myself telling her that I wanted the best for her, that even if I wasn't there, I wanted her to be happy. To me, this means that I loved her. I was only really ever thinking about her. You could almost say I felt pressured to be with her because I didn't want to leave her. Ironically enough....

Now, when I've tried contacting her she was very cold and distant and did not want to talk to me. Are we just forced to move on? I struggle with rationalizing these things, even though many will say you can't.

Taking things one step further, how could I ever get over someone when I develop such a strong attachment to them. Does it speak about some inner flaw? I can't see myself EVER putting anyone I have loved in the past through what others have put me through. I've been left or cheated on in pretty much the only three relationships I have ever had. I don't doubt my behavior could have something to do with it.

At what point do we give up? Move on. How much personal disappointment can we carry before we break.