okay so i'm going to try to make this as short as i possibly can.
i had been using ice for over 2 1/2 years. quite hard not just your occasional puff.
i ended up getting real paranoid but i don't think it was just paranoia, i've been doing some research but i need some advice\theories\analysis.
so here is what happened.
when i was with my ex we used to smoke quite a lot. when i got to a certain point, after being up for 3 days or so i would starting thinking he was talking about me; calling me insults such as "slut, bitch, etc". it actually got pretty bad, although i was quite confident it didn't make me depressed. then more things started to happen, i even started hallucinating during sex.
this one time for about 5 weeks or so it happened (during that period of time) i would get to some point - for example my paranoia went in stages as in it got worse. i then thought that my ex and his mate could bring their voices so low that they knew it would fuck with my head. and i thought they knew they were doing this, i could see them talking and whispering below their breaths and i thought they knew that i was listening, i would also speak under my breath really quietly and reply to them. when i was sober my ex used to tell them that i would talk to myself when we were puffing, although i thought he was just making me think it was all in my head and that i was going crazy so i didn't believe him and thought it was a cover up so that he could keep doing it (when it actually was all in my head). i would even put my head phones in and listen to music so loud, but i still thought i could hear them. so genuinely i thought they knew how to fuck with my head and they knew when i started going real crazy. although please remember this was all my head, well at least i think 8( still to this day i still believe everything that happened (1 year clean). imagine believing someone else over your own eyes, ears and brain.
now please can i have some kind of reply! i have been so confused. is this extreme paranoia, psychosis, delusions?
the only drug i ever did was ice, i never mixed it up also.
P.S for anyone that knows about themes of delusions, if someone could identify what theme i was going through of delusion that would be also helpful.
i had been using ice for over 2 1/2 years. quite hard not just your occasional puff.
i ended up getting real paranoid but i don't think it was just paranoia, i've been doing some research but i need some advice\theories\analysis.
so here is what happened.
when i was with my ex we used to smoke quite a lot. when i got to a certain point, after being up for 3 days or so i would starting thinking he was talking about me; calling me insults such as "slut, bitch, etc". it actually got pretty bad, although i was quite confident it didn't make me depressed. then more things started to happen, i even started hallucinating during sex.
this one time for about 5 weeks or so it happened (during that period of time) i would get to some point - for example my paranoia went in stages as in it got worse. i then thought that my ex and his mate could bring their voices so low that they knew it would fuck with my head. and i thought they knew they were doing this, i could see them talking and whispering below their breaths and i thought they knew that i was listening, i would also speak under my breath really quietly and reply to them. when i was sober my ex used to tell them that i would talk to myself when we were puffing, although i thought he was just making me think it was all in my head and that i was going crazy so i didn't believe him and thought it was a cover up so that he could keep doing it (when it actually was all in my head). i would even put my head phones in and listen to music so loud, but i still thought i could hear them. so genuinely i thought they knew how to fuck with my head and they knew when i started going real crazy. although please remember this was all my head, well at least i think 8( still to this day i still believe everything that happened (1 year clean). imagine believing someone else over your own eyes, ears and brain.
now please can i have some kind of reply! i have been so confused. is this extreme paranoia, psychosis, delusions?
the only drug i ever did was ice, i never mixed it up also.
P.S for anyone that knows about themes of delusions, if someone could identify what theme i was going through of delusion that would be also helpful.
