iksaxophone
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2015
- Messages
- 201
Last Tuesday night I took mushrooms with three friends (two guys, A and P, and P’s girlfriend E). I have some experience using cannabis as a moderate psychedelic. We were at A’s new place. It was a nice spot, with furniture from our band’s old jam room, candles, and incense. There were some neat paintings on the walls, and little tubs of bean sprouts growing on all the sills.
At about 10:20 p.m. we all ate 2 grams. I was a little disappointed with this dose; it felt like I wasn’t pushing into any new territory. Much like what I had encountered using cannabis, but without the innate positivity I associate with that substance. Faint auras appeared around A’s Hohner organ, chair and lamp.
Physical dimensionality changed too. It wasn’t that the room or anything in it appeared to change size. It was the feeling that they had changed accompanied by the clear observation that they were exactly the same. A short length of ceiling would become imbued with the impression of being larger and closer- without really seeming to be large and close. An impression separated from the observation it usually accompanies.
On the other hand, the shadow of a tall narrow lamp on the wall convincingly changed shape. It alternated between long and thin, and short and thick.
At some point I realized I’d forgotten allergy medication (A has a cat). My eyes started feeling unbearably itchy, so I stepped outside and wound up going for a walk around the block. I was also nauseous, although I was unaware of the phenomenon of ‘gut rot’ and believed it to be psychological. Now I am not so sure that my eyes were actually itchy because of the cat (the itchiness went away and didn’t come back even after I was sober). I may have just gotten a little obsessed with the anticipation of discomfort, and brought an allergic reaction upon myself.
After the walk I got A to measure me out another 1.5 grams. It was about 11:45p.m. Then the visuals became quite intense. Before the booster hallucinations did not really appear, just altered impressions.
For the rest of the night I stayed put in my armchair, except for a few voyages to the restroom. I put on a CD called Utopia Triumphans. It was Renaissance choral music. I started yawning, and feeling a lot of pressure between my eyes and nose. This pressure built up until I wasn’t sure if I was yawning or crying until I felt the tear running down my face. While this was happening I was laughing hysterically with P about something. There was also a few minutes when I pouted and sobbed. Both acts were not accompanied by their requisite emotions to the same degree as in everyday life. The laughter was only a bit joyous, and the sobbing only a taste of sad.
At some point P changed the CD to Miles Davis Kind of Blue album.
In the restroom there were limestone tiles on the wall facing the toilet. They became animated, looking like scenes out of prehistory. There some tribal people, and several animals, such as big cats.
I got the impression that A was an insect, probably prompted by two antennae-like strands of hair coming out of the part in his hair (A has hair past his shoulders, so the ‘antennae’ were quite exaggerated). At other times his ears got more significance in my field of vision, and he appeared much younger, almost elfin. I felt that I could see through his long-haired hippy look and view who he was many years before I met him.
Because of the social setting I only closed my eyes two or three times, and then only briefly. I should have done this more, and with different intent. My main purpose at the time was just to quell the nausea.
P and A sometimes seemed like they were only skins, or figments of my imagination. ‘Non-player characters’ so to speak. In the past I was interested in sociopathy and read some books on the subject. I understand that sociopathy may have to do with excessive serotonin, and I wonder if I didn’t get a taste of that through vastly increased activation of the 5-H2A receptors.
I saw death in them, too. It occurred to me several times that one of them might die by the time the sun rose. They seemed to be rushing from the kitchen to the living room and back trying to kill themselves with beer and cigarettes. Here I felt worry and compassion.
After a while the visual aspect decreased. I felt calmer and I began having deeper thoughts, none of which I can remember. The whole thing had an aspect of unreality, and a very neutral feeling to it. I didn’t feel high, or low either. I was tripping, but I didn’t get an overwhelming sense of goodness or badness coming from the mushrooms. Everything was situational.
I felt mostly down by 4 a.m. and tried to fall asleep on a yoga mat. This was largely unsuccessful, in part due to the thin mat and in part due to a rising agitation. I wanted to begin my day and be out and about. I went back to the living room and had a conversation about the trip with E, whom I hadn’t really spoken to all night. This was a really nice experience, as she alone seemed to still have her head on her shoulders (A was nearly passed out where he sat, with a cigarette burning to its butt between his lips. P was playing guitar, sloppily). E gave me a couple hits from her bong to help me sleep. I was reluctant because I was looking forward to being sober again, but I knew I couldn’t actually function without having slept. The pot felt very good, all comfortable body high, and I went back to my mat and slept for a few hours.
When I woke I felt destabilized. As soon as I was convinced I was truly at baseline I drove to my girlfriends. We napped and had some conversations.
That is all.
*************************
Further observations (optional):
During the following week I began experiencing depressive symptoms. I think I’m out of that now, more or less. However, I really didn’t feel myself for a time. I lost a lot of social acuity and generally was less considerate (although no less well-intentioned, I screwed up a number of interactions with my girlfriend). There were also some anxiety attacks.
This could have happened for a number of reasons, including the pace at which my life is moving forward (in the last year alone I joined a band, entered a long-term relationship, dropped out of school, bought a car, and just rented an apartment). I kind of felt like I had lost touch with my past, and I have this gut feeling that the mushrooms were part of that. This Saturday I intend to take the same dose, except alone and close to nature. I think they wanted me to delve into myself, and I didn’t due to the setting. I was concerned this was 100% the mushrooms, so I started a little thread on that (http://bluelight.org/vb/threads/786151-Post-Shroom-Depression).
At about 10:20 p.m. we all ate 2 grams. I was a little disappointed with this dose; it felt like I wasn’t pushing into any new territory. Much like what I had encountered using cannabis, but without the innate positivity I associate with that substance. Faint auras appeared around A’s Hohner organ, chair and lamp.
Physical dimensionality changed too. It wasn’t that the room or anything in it appeared to change size. It was the feeling that they had changed accompanied by the clear observation that they were exactly the same. A short length of ceiling would become imbued with the impression of being larger and closer- without really seeming to be large and close. An impression separated from the observation it usually accompanies.
On the other hand, the shadow of a tall narrow lamp on the wall convincingly changed shape. It alternated between long and thin, and short and thick.
At some point I realized I’d forgotten allergy medication (A has a cat). My eyes started feeling unbearably itchy, so I stepped outside and wound up going for a walk around the block. I was also nauseous, although I was unaware of the phenomenon of ‘gut rot’ and believed it to be psychological. Now I am not so sure that my eyes were actually itchy because of the cat (the itchiness went away and didn’t come back even after I was sober). I may have just gotten a little obsessed with the anticipation of discomfort, and brought an allergic reaction upon myself.
After the walk I got A to measure me out another 1.5 grams. It was about 11:45p.m. Then the visuals became quite intense. Before the booster hallucinations did not really appear, just altered impressions.
For the rest of the night I stayed put in my armchair, except for a few voyages to the restroom. I put on a CD called Utopia Triumphans. It was Renaissance choral music. I started yawning, and feeling a lot of pressure between my eyes and nose. This pressure built up until I wasn’t sure if I was yawning or crying until I felt the tear running down my face. While this was happening I was laughing hysterically with P about something. There was also a few minutes when I pouted and sobbed. Both acts were not accompanied by their requisite emotions to the same degree as in everyday life. The laughter was only a bit joyous, and the sobbing only a taste of sad.
At some point P changed the CD to Miles Davis Kind of Blue album.
In the restroom there were limestone tiles on the wall facing the toilet. They became animated, looking like scenes out of prehistory. There some tribal people, and several animals, such as big cats.
I got the impression that A was an insect, probably prompted by two antennae-like strands of hair coming out of the part in his hair (A has hair past his shoulders, so the ‘antennae’ were quite exaggerated). At other times his ears got more significance in my field of vision, and he appeared much younger, almost elfin. I felt that I could see through his long-haired hippy look and view who he was many years before I met him.
Because of the social setting I only closed my eyes two or three times, and then only briefly. I should have done this more, and with different intent. My main purpose at the time was just to quell the nausea.
P and A sometimes seemed like they were only skins, or figments of my imagination. ‘Non-player characters’ so to speak. In the past I was interested in sociopathy and read some books on the subject. I understand that sociopathy may have to do with excessive serotonin, and I wonder if I didn’t get a taste of that through vastly increased activation of the 5-H2A receptors.
I saw death in them, too. It occurred to me several times that one of them might die by the time the sun rose. They seemed to be rushing from the kitchen to the living room and back trying to kill themselves with beer and cigarettes. Here I felt worry and compassion.
After a while the visual aspect decreased. I felt calmer and I began having deeper thoughts, none of which I can remember. The whole thing had an aspect of unreality, and a very neutral feeling to it. I didn’t feel high, or low either. I was tripping, but I didn’t get an overwhelming sense of goodness or badness coming from the mushrooms. Everything was situational.
I felt mostly down by 4 a.m. and tried to fall asleep on a yoga mat. This was largely unsuccessful, in part due to the thin mat and in part due to a rising agitation. I wanted to begin my day and be out and about. I went back to the living room and had a conversation about the trip with E, whom I hadn’t really spoken to all night. This was a really nice experience, as she alone seemed to still have her head on her shoulders (A was nearly passed out where he sat, with a cigarette burning to its butt between his lips. P was playing guitar, sloppily). E gave me a couple hits from her bong to help me sleep. I was reluctant because I was looking forward to being sober again, but I knew I couldn’t actually function without having slept. The pot felt very good, all comfortable body high, and I went back to my mat and slept for a few hours.
When I woke I felt destabilized. As soon as I was convinced I was truly at baseline I drove to my girlfriends. We napped and had some conversations.
That is all.
*************************
Further observations (optional):
During the following week I began experiencing depressive symptoms. I think I’m out of that now, more or less. However, I really didn’t feel myself for a time. I lost a lot of social acuity and generally was less considerate (although no less well-intentioned, I screwed up a number of interactions with my girlfriend). There were also some anxiety attacks.
This could have happened for a number of reasons, including the pace at which my life is moving forward (in the last year alone I joined a band, entered a long-term relationship, dropped out of school, bought a car, and just rented an apartment). I kind of felt like I had lost touch with my past, and I have this gut feeling that the mushrooms were part of that. This Saturday I intend to take the same dose, except alone and close to nature. I think they wanted me to delve into myself, and I didn’t due to the setting. I was concerned this was 100% the mushrooms, so I started a little thread on that (http://bluelight.org/vb/threads/786151-Post-Shroom-Depression).
