iridescentblack
Bluelighter
I'm not sure where to put this. Some of the content seems to be of a spiritual/philosophy nature.
My former psychopathic neighbor, once said, in an attempt to gaslight me, that "You shouldn't hold in those sexual vibes/urges (because) it'll lead to impotency.
In a way I think he was right about that one thing in his life. Because of porn addiction that I had faced and withdrawn from, I was claiming celibacy and NOBNOM and started to notice that my sexual energy was attracted to virtually everything I never wanted to put it towards, for fear of embarrassment, as I was working on my recovery.
I managed to barely scrape by in situations with annoyingly-personal conversation, being brought up, where people in that old neighborhood of mine would start to talk about pedophiles and since I wasn't a pedophile but had been attracted to a teenager when I was a twenty year old, the conversation kept escalating, and the old man who had brought up that topic kept getting more and more angry and serious. I'm pretty sure he was getting more and more serious because I was leaking off those sexual energies that are usually reserved for intimacy.
Please note, I don't subject that the following information is true, but is necessary to elaborate: Psychopaths feed off of sexual vibes that are released because it's one way of gaining power from their victim. Sometimes Bros will do the same thing (fool around by saying trigger words like fag and buttsex) to assert dominance and find whoever is supposedly gayest in the group. When these sexual vibes are felt, it's like chocolate to a fat person. They eat that shit right up.
Years after my neighbor gave me that excuse, I ended up fixing my energy field again and with some serious therapy made a complete recovery, but there were some side effects.
I can now feel these sexual energies even in the slightest capacity. Anywhere from a person being somewhat surprised to see me to being extremely randy around me like a nymphomaniac. I know what you're thinking... but it doesn't always feel pleasant. I can not only identify these vibes through a gut feeling but I can identify exactly who they're coming from.
My neighbor on the other hand, I checked up on his progress and he's shootin' blanks now, according to his mom who blames me for everything.
Kinda begs the question, whether it's better or not to give into things or wait until later when they escalate. I know in recovery of things, it's probably better to wait it out and once shit gets really bad you know that's when the major healing is being done. But who knows? Maybe I was wrong to live my life the way I did and my psychopathic neighbor could see that I was a heathen and deserved to be punished by his extremely loud fucking music every night from 10pm until 6am and I was in the wrong for trying to control his habits...
My former psychopathic neighbor, once said, in an attempt to gaslight me, that "You shouldn't hold in those sexual vibes/urges (because) it'll lead to impotency.
In a way I think he was right about that one thing in his life. Because of porn addiction that I had faced and withdrawn from, I was claiming celibacy and NOBNOM and started to notice that my sexual energy was attracted to virtually everything I never wanted to put it towards, for fear of embarrassment, as I was working on my recovery.
I managed to barely scrape by in situations with annoyingly-personal conversation, being brought up, where people in that old neighborhood of mine would start to talk about pedophiles and since I wasn't a pedophile but had been attracted to a teenager when I was a twenty year old, the conversation kept escalating, and the old man who had brought up that topic kept getting more and more angry and serious. I'm pretty sure he was getting more and more serious because I was leaking off those sexual energies that are usually reserved for intimacy.
Please note, I don't subject that the following information is true, but is necessary to elaborate: Psychopaths feed off of sexual vibes that are released because it's one way of gaining power from their victim. Sometimes Bros will do the same thing (fool around by saying trigger words like fag and buttsex) to assert dominance and find whoever is supposedly gayest in the group. When these sexual vibes are felt, it's like chocolate to a fat person. They eat that shit right up.
Years after my neighbor gave me that excuse, I ended up fixing my energy field again and with some serious therapy made a complete recovery, but there were some side effects.
I can now feel these sexual energies even in the slightest capacity. Anywhere from a person being somewhat surprised to see me to being extremely randy around me like a nymphomaniac. I know what you're thinking... but it doesn't always feel pleasant. I can not only identify these vibes through a gut feeling but I can identify exactly who they're coming from.
My neighbor on the other hand, I checked up on his progress and he's shootin' blanks now, according to his mom who blames me for everything.
Kinda begs the question, whether it's better or not to give into things or wait until later when they escalate. I know in recovery of things, it's probably better to wait it out and once shit gets really bad you know that's when the major healing is being done. But who knows? Maybe I was wrong to live my life the way I did and my psychopathic neighbor could see that I was a heathen and deserved to be punished by his extremely loud fucking music every night from 10pm until 6am and I was in the wrong for trying to control his habits...
