Psycho

[patronus1986]

I am psychophat. That is my illness. I am without soul. I want not to be monster, and lyrer, manipulator. I want find something in myself. Is my right to Have my soul, my spirit, my hope, true love for myself and others? Why I have not that? For what I am guilty? I did some bad things, but not for prison. I must live without emotions. Only anger, fears. In my childhood was a lot of trauma. I had a fear of the all-male peer. They were bulyng me. (pussy ect.) and physical abuse. I never told to my parrents, becouse I was thinking that tey will think that a am pussy. I hated myself. And I hate myself today. My granfa was alcoholic and schizophrenia. He was very sick. He was treated me very verbaly bad. I think that i am borderline and psichophat (fear of abandonment, spliting mood, one moment white, another black)
I did many thing without conscience. But, i dont enjoy in lying and hurting others. I want not to be like this. I want sing, dance, act, sport with love, with truth, with goodnes. I am very affraid and sad.And alone. I dont touch myself inside of me. Who Am i? Or what? There is only pain and dark inside. And mask. And lye. This is the worst thing on the world. Life without love. Withoust self. Without life.

I want your opinion on my problem from the philosophical ans spirituality standpoint. What I am? I have right on chance and understanding. People must understand this problem. Sorry for my bad english. Thanks for reading.

 

[panic in paradise]

You sound like many people who are being realistic with themself, seeing a lot of what needs to be overcome wanting to fill that space with what you love to do, but what others have lead you to believe, is distracting you from your truth.

 

[panic in paradise]

I wouldn't be surprised if this thread is closed or moved.

This is maybe more material for TDS or if you feel in danger I would get help from someone there near.

I dont touch myself inside of me. Who Am i? Or what? There is only pain and dark inside. And mask. And lye. This is the worst thing on the world. Life without love. Withoust self. Without life.

I want your opinion on my problem from the philosophical ans spirituality standpoint. What I am? I have right on chance and understanding. People must understand this problem. Sorry for my bad english. Thanks for reading.

I really am concerned for you, and the others near and around as well, let them be near you, allow them to or something must, something must touch you on the inside. You fear is your domain, let it go both ways...

I hope youre allright

 

[qwe]

your environment will tend to drag you back down, if you let it.

you do have a soul, and you can nurture it. it's dark in there right now, clouded by focusing on negative memories.

you have to find your own ways to make it bright and visible. always choose love over fear, when you have a choice.

here is a suggestion: every morning and every night, think of 5 positive memories. it may be hard at first, you may only think of negatives. working with the mind takes time.

you might need an anxiolytic (anti anxiety) to help sort through your memories.

 

[CrackAndScrabble]

There isn't much anybody else can do about your emotions. No drug, no doctor, no mental health system can fix you because nothing is wrong with you. Right now you're attributing your actions to not following accordingly to your thoughts. You are blaming your emotional states on something outside your control by calling yourself a psychopath. By objectifying your thoughts and actions you are saying your true self is not essentially tied to your actions. If you don't essentially tie yourself to your actions then you will never take responsibility for your actions. The key to therapy is taking responsibility for your actions and accepting it.

You are completely free to do any action you please.