I need to vent some more. Here's another long rant. I put it in NSFW (not safe for work) tags. Click "show" to open.
Psycho Suzie was my first long-term gf. I met her early in my college career at Muddsuckers coffee shop just off the edge of the University. I used to go to Muddsuckers to study between classses or get coffee before going into lab in the morning. We dated on-and-off for several years while I lived and went to the University in a large city (I don't name either the city or the university in case she is aware of this site and figures out who I am. Actually, I suspect that a certain long-time member of this site knows her very well and will pass on any information if he or she figures it out. If she does, she will cause more trouble for me. ) in the South in the USA. Psycho Suzie is tall, blonde, blue-eyed half Swede and a former model whose mother is was also a fashion model. She was born into an old money country club lifestyle. I thought she was really great and that I had gotten extremely lucky. Here was the first woman I met who was lovely, brilliant, and even interesting. But it wasn't until much later that I began to realize that she was tragically insane.
One reason I think it took me so long to realize that she was trouble is because of the hellish childhood I survived. She seemed normal compared to my own family or previous girlfirneds. Indeed, she still seems like an angel compared to my own freak family circus. Anyway, the interesting women, as uncommon as they have proven to be, almost always turn out to be crazy.
I really loved her and trusted her and had no idea of the dangerous things in the world she would later expose me to. She was the one who first turned me on to the pleasure of heroin, cocaine, and to the thrill of the needle. To make a long story short, though she seemed to me to have a very promising future when we first met, she turned out to be nothign more than a "townie." A townie is what I think of as a special kind of fuck-up - a person with the ambition of a WalMart clerk and who never makes it out of or far from their hometown on account of never succeeding at anything or never wanting to or both.
Psycho Suzie called my cell phone about 20 times yesterday. For the month of July, she called 94 (I think) times. I screen my calls. I didn't answer a single call. But she crap-flooded my voice mail with 9 messages, one after another until there were about 30 minutes of her telling me a story. Also, we havent' seen each other for several years. I havent even spoken to her on the phone in a few years. But she keeps calling me. She is spending the summer at her Aunt Sarah's house in Cape Cod. She told me if only I hadn't "been bad," that I could have spent the summer there with her. I no longer speak to her (havent' for a few years), and she has no idea where I live, whether or not I'm seeing anybody. She doesnt' even know I have a gf.). Her Mom and brother Robert (not his real name, the Middle East studies professor at a university (I dont' name it for the same reason I gave above.) in Europe who writes books on muslims and multiculturalism in europe) spent the last month in Italy and Austria. But Psycho Suzie wasnt' invited this year. (Haha I wonder why). They didn't visit the grandparents at the farm in Sweden this time.
Psycho Suzie's computer has a virus. It's a certain kind of virus that gives a hacker full access to the computer - kind of like what is called a "root kit," I think. She "knows" this because the cursor was jittering or moving around on its own. So now, she says in the message, somebody gave her a special computer that lets her track the hacker. She hinted that she thought it was I. Her other brother Edward couldn't go to Italy either because he's either still in rehab, jail, or a psych ward. I forget which. Her mom has rehired their old maid Carla. Carla is the short, no-neck, trailer trash crack-smoking hick they fired a few years ago when they caught her selling stolen jewelry at a local pawn shop. It turns out that she had stolen a lot of jewely from other peopel she worked for in the same neighborhood. ) Psycho Suzie said "my friend Ferret (a coffee server and artist)" has gained hundred pounds. (We were never friends (we only chatted occaisonally at the coffee shop, and I haven't seen him for a few years. She only calls him my friend because he's gay, and it's one of her ways of calling me a fag). He was sick and pale with AIDS, was skin-and-bones, and covered with sores the last time I saw him. I've never heard of a fat AIDS patient before. Maybe he is recovering. On a side note, it was one of the girls who worked at the coffee shop who nick-named her "Psycho Suzie" (behind her back). Suz would go int ehre, order some ridiculous coffee drink with about 20 modifiers tot he name (eg. quadruple grande two percent hot dulce de leche latte extra caramel sauce with an EXTRA shot and whip cream), then she would scream at them if they took too long, or if they talked to me or even looked at me.
NSFW:
Psycho Suzie was my first long-term gf. I met her early in my college career at Muddsuckers coffee shop just off the edge of the University. I used to go to Muddsuckers to study between classses or get coffee before going into lab in the morning. We dated on-and-off for several years while I lived and went to the University in a large city (I don't name either the city or the university in case she is aware of this site and figures out who I am. Actually, I suspect that a certain long-time member of this site knows her very well and will pass on any information if he or she figures it out. If she does, she will cause more trouble for me. ) in the South in the USA. Psycho Suzie is tall, blonde, blue-eyed half Swede and a former model whose mother is was also a fashion model. She was born into an old money country club lifestyle. I thought she was really great and that I had gotten extremely lucky. Here was the first woman I met who was lovely, brilliant, and even interesting. But it wasn't until much later that I began to realize that she was tragically insane.
One reason I think it took me so long to realize that she was trouble is because of the hellish childhood I survived. She seemed normal compared to my own family or previous girlfirneds. Indeed, she still seems like an angel compared to my own freak family circus. Anyway, the interesting women, as uncommon as they have proven to be, almost always turn out to be crazy.
I really loved her and trusted her and had no idea of the dangerous things in the world she would later expose me to. She was the one who first turned me on to the pleasure of heroin, cocaine, and to the thrill of the needle. To make a long story short, though she seemed to me to have a very promising future when we first met, she turned out to be nothign more than a "townie." A townie is what I think of as a special kind of fuck-up - a person with the ambition of a WalMart clerk and who never makes it out of or far from their hometown on account of never succeeding at anything or never wanting to or both.
Psycho Suzie called my cell phone about 20 times yesterday. For the month of July, she called 94 (I think) times. I screen my calls. I didn't answer a single call. But she crap-flooded my voice mail with 9 messages, one after another until there were about 30 minutes of her telling me a story. Also, we havent' seen each other for several years. I havent even spoken to her on the phone in a few years. But she keeps calling me. She is spending the summer at her Aunt Sarah's house in Cape Cod. She told me if only I hadn't "been bad," that I could have spent the summer there with her. I no longer speak to her (havent' for a few years), and she has no idea where I live, whether or not I'm seeing anybody. She doesnt' even know I have a gf.). Her Mom and brother Robert (not his real name, the Middle East studies professor at a university (I dont' name it for the same reason I gave above.) in Europe who writes books on muslims and multiculturalism in europe) spent the last month in Italy and Austria. But Psycho Suzie wasnt' invited this year. (Haha I wonder why). They didn't visit the grandparents at the farm in Sweden this time.
Psycho Suzie's computer has a virus. It's a certain kind of virus that gives a hacker full access to the computer - kind of like what is called a "root kit," I think. She "knows" this because the cursor was jittering or moving around on its own. So now, she says in the message, somebody gave her a special computer that lets her track the hacker. She hinted that she thought it was I. Her other brother Edward couldn't go to Italy either because he's either still in rehab, jail, or a psych ward. I forget which. Her mom has rehired their old maid Carla. Carla is the short, no-neck, trailer trash crack-smoking hick they fired a few years ago when they caught her selling stolen jewelry at a local pawn shop. It turns out that she had stolen a lot of jewely from other peopel she worked for in the same neighborhood. ) Psycho Suzie said "my friend Ferret (a coffee server and artist)" has gained hundred pounds. (We were never friends (we only chatted occaisonally at the coffee shop, and I haven't seen him for a few years. She only calls him my friend because he's gay, and it's one of her ways of calling me a fag). He was sick and pale with AIDS, was skin-and-bones, and covered with sores the last time I saw him. I've never heard of a fat AIDS patient before. Maybe he is recovering. On a side note, it was one of the girls who worked at the coffee shop who nick-named her "Psycho Suzie" (behind her back). Suz would go int ehre, order some ridiculous coffee drink with about 20 modifiers tot he name (eg. quadruple grande two percent hot dulce de leche latte extra caramel sauce with an EXTRA shot and whip cream), then she would scream at them if they took too long, or if they talked to me or even looked at me.
