AscendingSoul
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2011
- Messages
- 10
So, a couple of months ago i took a psychedelic tryptamine called "moxy"; it was the first time i took a psychedelic that was not mushrooms or lsd. I tripped in my house; i spent most of the time just laying on my bed, listening to music, meditating, and watching inspiring video's from Alan Watt's. I took the pill at about 11:30PM, and tripped till about 4PM, at which time i went to smoke some herb. What i experienced after coming back inside is the most profound thing that has ever happened to me, and has changed my life completely, and for the better. I know that this is a long post, but i urge you to read it, and i hope some of you can relate to my experience. Enjoy!
I wrote thid down just before going out to smoke a joint:
Everything is exactly how it is, all the time. I can’t even begin to describe the way I feel right now. Everything that I have been thinking about lately is awesomely intensified right now. I really do feel now more than ever like I am apart of something far greater than I can normally comprehend. Psychedelics really do just open up your mind to reality. Many ideas have been floating around in my head, but they are only ideas… these ideas are helping me to find what I am ultimately looking for, but they aren’t good enough just on their own. The thoughts are just pointers-hints-clues to what I am searching for. And it is these thoughts that are happening right NOW that are allowing me to get closer and closer to that final moment. And I say final moment when I am really referring to when I get to the point where I am totally dis-identified from form, and instead am totally immersed in the Beingness of the formless. God is simply a name that has been given to this Beingness. But God is not something external, in other words, God is not a specific person-creator-power-anything-form because God is absolutely non-identified with any form of any kind. The very essence of God is what gives way to form. But form is only a shadow of the Truth. There is only one absolute truth in this world, and that truth is absolutely unnamable. The fact that I can say this about the truth shows just how far humans have gone, through the use of the brain, and more specifically the Mind, but it also shows that because I cannot express the experience of God into any word or picture or story or any form of language – simply because God is formless – it shows you how limited the Mind is. God is internal, and that is why it must be experienced first hand. Otherwise there is no clear way of teaching anybody what that experience is, because it is formless. And when you try to take your first-hand experience and give it to someone else it must: first be put into words inside of your own head, which already gives form to it, and then made into some type of communication, such as written language, and then it has to be processed and put into words again inside the other persons head. The whole idea is that it is impossible to try to translate the formless, because the instant you attempt to, it becomes form, and therefore it is not true anymore, it’s just a form. The form can serve as a hint to someone, but it is ultimately them who have to use that hint to find their own experience of God within themselves. I am God, and so are You.
...
Last night, after writing all of this down, I was beginning to come down from my trip. I went outside to smoke a doob. I was sitting on the pathway. There was a bird that was tweeting, and he kept on repeating the same thing over and over again, at regular intervals. There was also a crow that was squawking, whenever the other bird wasn’t tweeting. It seemed like they were communicating. In fact, I thought to myself(when thinking about just the tweeting bird): the bird is not concerned with how he sounds, he is just trying to communicate with his bird pals. After that thought, I began hearing the tweet differently, and I really felt like I could understand the tweet, and it was the most hilarious thing that I’ve ever heard. It seemed like a comedy show, and the crow and the bird were talking back and forth to each other. The crow was a pest, who had a terribly harsh sounding voice, which seemed like it was full of incessant non-sense, and like it was just nagging. The birds tweet was the complete opposite, it was lively, cunning, clever, critical, superior- and above all, it just seemed like it was continually replying to the crows squawk, as if it were making a clever and funny remark, that would, above all, clarify its superior position-state-awareness. While I was sitting there, I began to start laughing, and I couldn’t stop, because every time I would hear the bird tweet, I would imagine it like it were a human talking, and it was saying this remark over and over again, and it was just the most hilarious thing that I’d ever heard. I started to feel like I should get out of view from people because I probably looked really high. So I went closer to my door, and put out the doob. The bird would tweet every 5 seconds or so. When I went inside, and was locking the door, I still could hear it, and started laughing in the kitchen. I went to my room, and closed my door, and laid down on my bed. Even though now I couldn’t hear the bird tweeting, it was repeating inside my head, over and over, at the same interval as before. And I began to laugh hysterically, but quietly, and I was trying to cover my mouth, to not make any noise; my breath ceased for a moment and I was caught in a type of inner stillness. While laughing, my hand slowly slid up, over my eyes, and when I looked into my palm, I could see into another world. This world was something far greater than I could have ever possibly imagined. It was completely internal and was emotionally charged. As my hand slip over my right eye, I could see both sides of the boundary, which was dividing the exterior from the interior. And that boundary was my visual field. I could feel a strong urge to allow my other eye to be covered and to become immersed in the experience. As my left eye got covered, I was completely thrown into another dimension[what would be the outer parts of my hand, were stretched to behind my head, and I felt like I was entering into a deep, deep place]. The moment I saw into this reality, I instantly knew that it was my inner being, and that I had tapped into it. I was totally overwhelmed by it. My hand continued to move from left to right on my face, and my right eye slipped out of my palm(I could see between my fingers) and I got transported back(somewhat) as I looked into room(I was looking along my wall, towards my door). But I felt like it was important for me to look back into this world, so I covered both my eyes again. Then, I saw these two little balls of white(more like humps) with jagged edges and a black background behind them. At this time, I felt like I was accessing a part of my Ego that was put in place a long time ago, and that is still with me now. It is deeply rooted in my development, and has something to do with my dad and his relationship with me while I was younger. It felt like I was literally being thrown into this other place, and losing my body. I was diving into this deep place. Then, in an instant, I uncovered my eyes, and was brought back to reality. But it was different now, and I was really tripping out. I had an intense fear rising from my depths, and it was slowing down time. I felt trapped in this moment, and I tried to get up out of my bed. The bed covers felt like iron sheets, (they were really, really heavy, and were not soft or fluid at all). I felt like I was skipping moments, or perhaps slowing them down, and everything that I saw seemed to be a still picture, and I was seeing a succession of these ‘snapshots’. I was extremely scared at this point and just wanted to stand up. But I was stuck in my bed, and I tried to regain mental stability. I actually sat there and created a sphere with my hands as I pressed my finger tips together while repeating: “regain mental stability”. It was astonishing how much impact each one of my thoughts had on my body and the way in which I perceived reality. While I was trying to regain stability, I actually felt a huge shift in my awareness, and I started to see more clearly again. But it was a constant struggle from there on out. I was stuck between getting lost in the thought of that moment and each time I though back to it, I was pulled back toward it. The birds tweet was still repeating in my head, and the closer it got to the beginning of the tweet (as I heard it in my head- at different frequencies and speeds), the closer I got to identifying with that moment. And that moment wasn’t only parallel to the start of the tweet, but it was also parallel to the exact physical space (in the corner of my bed) and the closer I got, physically, to that dark space, the more I got sucked into the unsteadiness and intense identification with that moment. It truly was profound, in that I was able to correspond my internal reality with the physical world. I began getting really emotionally invested in every thought or action that crossed my mind, and it became apparent that I was extremely capable of recognizing my egoic patterns. Each time I recognize them (which seemed like 10 times a second) it would elicit either a positive response, or a negative response – to which my emotional body would respond accordingly (My emotions were also a part of this overall spectrum of time, space, visual perception, and speed and deepness of the repeating tweet.) A negative thought would propel me closer to that deep moment. And a positive thought would bring me out of it. It was so overlapping and intertwined that it’s hard to say exactly what actions produced good and what actions produced bad. But it seems to me now that, at that time, I was much more capable of relating my egoic patterns (physical habits) to my internal reality. And I felt like I could reconstruct my internal reality by centering myself, and making physical changes to my room. I tried hard to concentrate on my breath and find my centre. I tried to feel my Beingness and tried to dis-identify from my thoughts. I felt like this helped a lot to bring me out of that moment, and out of that trip. As I walked around my room, I felt a rapturous connection between my entire physical room, and my internal reality. And it was all related to the point of reference to the corner of my bed. Also, I felt very comforted by turning on my lamp and looking into the light. It was actually like I was experiencing my true spirit or divine self when I was giving my attention to the light. But when my attention drifted and I looked back toward my bed, I was moved (emotionally) away from the light and towards the darkness. But then when I returned my attention to the light again, it brought me back closer to the goodness and the peacefulness that I wanted to experience. Also, all the while, that same tweet was still repeating inside my head. But it was totally in reference to my emotional state, and where I was in accordance to the light and the darkness. With everything that I would do or think, I would hear this tweet in the background – and the closer my thoughts got to that moment, the sooner I would hear that part of the tweet (remembering that the beginning of the tweet represents the moment, and the rest of it is just a place along the awareness spectrum of that moment) I felt like I had something deeply personal that was available to me in that moment, but I was too scared to face it. And so I tried to shut it out completely by ignoring my Ego. That moment signifies a defining event that triggered something in me long ago, that has shaped my view of the world and of myself. It is something that is dark and it is something that I am not proud of. And I feel like that, by having accessed it, I gained a greater understanding of it. But that understanding is not something that I can put into words, it just is how it is. Instead, it was clearer to me afterwards, but more on an intuitive level. And the entire process of escaping that moment and coming back to normal reality was a chance for me to recognize the implication of the moment’s reality, and to see its effects in my egoic mind. As I thought about and did things, I felt like I had the power to change them for the better, by physically manipulating or moving them. And this manipulation is a symbol for my internal manipulation (healing). Everything that was external was perfectly synchronized with everything internal. I found that I most easily and drastically ‘caught’ myself going into egoic patterns when I was focused on something – like my phone, ipod, poster, a book. Each time I recognized my Ego, I heard that tweet in the background. And it was not really just a sound anymore; it was a “way” of seeing reality. The tweet was perfectly synchronized (in starting point, and in frequency) the frequency would get slower and deeper when I could see one thing from a more widened perspective. And it would get faster and higher when the realization was less understood and more fleeting. In other words, the tweet stood as a backdrop to my entire experience, and it would be manifested in accordance to my inner awareness. I realized that the space on my bed was the absolute “void” into my dark inner reality, and the light was my savior from it. And it took everything that I could manage to pull myself away from that darkness and toward the light. Before this, each time I would try to “do” something to get my mind off the moment, I would find myself falling into my old egoic patterns, in one way or another, such as looking for a cheery song to take my mind off it, or by searching my phone for my friend's number, because I knew that talking to him would comfort me. But each time I realized my Ego, I would hear that tweet to whatever extent my realization manifested. And then following the realization, I had the ability to change my outer reality. This is truly what I have been searching for. I had a clear link between my internal and my external. When I first realized the symbolic significance of the “light” and the “darkness”, I attempted to regain my personal power by concentrating on the light. I actually sat there, perfectly centered toward it, and felt its presence fill my body. I listened to that “7 minute” meditation thing and I felt like it was so profoundly destined to happen exactly like the way it did, and I saw everything that happened as having a purpose. The sequence of events leading up to that dark moment, and then subsequently, my efforts to bring myself out of it and find mental refuge “in the light” was just part of the greater plan, which is Life. Every song that I listened to (before and after) was perfectly in its place as I began to understand the greater Oneness of everything. As was every thought and vision. There was a moment in that “7 minute” mediation that was so profound that it made me realize the entirety and purpose of life. And that was when the woman said ( and the woman’s voice was so comforting and loving that it was a perfect way of translating the message of the spirit) “imagine that everything you need is contained in the light, and all of it is being given to you now”. This experience was incredible and those 7 minutes were the most wonderful moments. In the beginning of the sequence, it tells you to focus on various parts of your body and to reach inward to your true self, and I can’t even describe how vividly I could “feel” my head and my muscles (like my eyelids, eye nerves, ear nerves, scalp, and just my entire body. I felt the channels of my body opening and the energy from the light entering and spreading throughout my body and my whole being. In that moment, quoted above, when the light was all being given to me, I looked into the lamp: there are no words to describe the sense peace and beauty that I felt in those moments. The light was absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I could see the colours of the rainbow emanating around it and when I focused right on the dead centre of the light, I experienced an overwhelming sense of safety and peace. Simply serene. The whole divide between light and dark was still going on and I felt like I was losing myself again, and so I started to panic, which caused more panic, but then I realized this, and that gave me confidence. It was a constant fight between my Ego and my true Self. Everything that unfolded after that was seen as perfectly relevant and synchronistic. I felt like I realized my purpose in Life – and that is that I must be perfectly aligned with Life. The only way to do this is to look past the Ego entirely. When I was sitting in the park later, I became aware of the sun, and it gave me great comfort. It was like I was out of the dark of night, and nothing could bring me back there, because the sun was out. The tweet lingered in my head for a long time afterwards, and it slowly got further and further away from the start of it, and instead I was now only hearing the very end of it, and very faintly, and at a low frequency. The drugs were wearing off, and I felt like I could begin to reflect on the events that transpired without getting emotionally invested in them, as I was before. When I realized that they were wearing off, I felt extremely relieved, because at some point earlier – not too long after the moment – I was very seriously worried that I had been switched onto some new reality and that I would never be able to escape it. I remember distinctly thinking that it was possible that I might have triggered some latent mental disability, like the one when you forget everything every 10 seconds, and just repeat the same thing every day for the rest of your life. Later on, my friend helped me to come out of it because he grounded the energy in the air. His presence helped to centre me.
I wrote thid down just before going out to smoke a joint:
Everything is exactly how it is, all the time. I can’t even begin to describe the way I feel right now. Everything that I have been thinking about lately is awesomely intensified right now. I really do feel now more than ever like I am apart of something far greater than I can normally comprehend. Psychedelics really do just open up your mind to reality. Many ideas have been floating around in my head, but they are only ideas… these ideas are helping me to find what I am ultimately looking for, but they aren’t good enough just on their own. The thoughts are just pointers-hints-clues to what I am searching for. And it is these thoughts that are happening right NOW that are allowing me to get closer and closer to that final moment. And I say final moment when I am really referring to when I get to the point where I am totally dis-identified from form, and instead am totally immersed in the Beingness of the formless. God is simply a name that has been given to this Beingness. But God is not something external, in other words, God is not a specific person-creator-power-anything-form because God is absolutely non-identified with any form of any kind. The very essence of God is what gives way to form. But form is only a shadow of the Truth. There is only one absolute truth in this world, and that truth is absolutely unnamable. The fact that I can say this about the truth shows just how far humans have gone, through the use of the brain, and more specifically the Mind, but it also shows that because I cannot express the experience of God into any word or picture or story or any form of language – simply because God is formless – it shows you how limited the Mind is. God is internal, and that is why it must be experienced first hand. Otherwise there is no clear way of teaching anybody what that experience is, because it is formless. And when you try to take your first-hand experience and give it to someone else it must: first be put into words inside of your own head, which already gives form to it, and then made into some type of communication, such as written language, and then it has to be processed and put into words again inside the other persons head. The whole idea is that it is impossible to try to translate the formless, because the instant you attempt to, it becomes form, and therefore it is not true anymore, it’s just a form. The form can serve as a hint to someone, but it is ultimately them who have to use that hint to find their own experience of God within themselves. I am God, and so are You.
...
Last night, after writing all of this down, I was beginning to come down from my trip. I went outside to smoke a doob. I was sitting on the pathway. There was a bird that was tweeting, and he kept on repeating the same thing over and over again, at regular intervals. There was also a crow that was squawking, whenever the other bird wasn’t tweeting. It seemed like they were communicating. In fact, I thought to myself(when thinking about just the tweeting bird): the bird is not concerned with how he sounds, he is just trying to communicate with his bird pals. After that thought, I began hearing the tweet differently, and I really felt like I could understand the tweet, and it was the most hilarious thing that I’ve ever heard. It seemed like a comedy show, and the crow and the bird were talking back and forth to each other. The crow was a pest, who had a terribly harsh sounding voice, which seemed like it was full of incessant non-sense, and like it was just nagging. The birds tweet was the complete opposite, it was lively, cunning, clever, critical, superior- and above all, it just seemed like it was continually replying to the crows squawk, as if it were making a clever and funny remark, that would, above all, clarify its superior position-state-awareness. While I was sitting there, I began to start laughing, and I couldn’t stop, because every time I would hear the bird tweet, I would imagine it like it were a human talking, and it was saying this remark over and over again, and it was just the most hilarious thing that I’d ever heard. I started to feel like I should get out of view from people because I probably looked really high. So I went closer to my door, and put out the doob. The bird would tweet every 5 seconds or so. When I went inside, and was locking the door, I still could hear it, and started laughing in the kitchen. I went to my room, and closed my door, and laid down on my bed. Even though now I couldn’t hear the bird tweeting, it was repeating inside my head, over and over, at the same interval as before. And I began to laugh hysterically, but quietly, and I was trying to cover my mouth, to not make any noise; my breath ceased for a moment and I was caught in a type of inner stillness. While laughing, my hand slowly slid up, over my eyes, and when I looked into my palm, I could see into another world. This world was something far greater than I could have ever possibly imagined. It was completely internal and was emotionally charged. As my hand slip over my right eye, I could see both sides of the boundary, which was dividing the exterior from the interior. And that boundary was my visual field. I could feel a strong urge to allow my other eye to be covered and to become immersed in the experience. As my left eye got covered, I was completely thrown into another dimension[what would be the outer parts of my hand, were stretched to behind my head, and I felt like I was entering into a deep, deep place]. The moment I saw into this reality, I instantly knew that it was my inner being, and that I had tapped into it. I was totally overwhelmed by it. My hand continued to move from left to right on my face, and my right eye slipped out of my palm(I could see between my fingers) and I got transported back(somewhat) as I looked into room(I was looking along my wall, towards my door). But I felt like it was important for me to look back into this world, so I covered both my eyes again. Then, I saw these two little balls of white(more like humps) with jagged edges and a black background behind them. At this time, I felt like I was accessing a part of my Ego that was put in place a long time ago, and that is still with me now. It is deeply rooted in my development, and has something to do with my dad and his relationship with me while I was younger. It felt like I was literally being thrown into this other place, and losing my body. I was diving into this deep place. Then, in an instant, I uncovered my eyes, and was brought back to reality. But it was different now, and I was really tripping out. I had an intense fear rising from my depths, and it was slowing down time. I felt trapped in this moment, and I tried to get up out of my bed. The bed covers felt like iron sheets, (they were really, really heavy, and were not soft or fluid at all). I felt like I was skipping moments, or perhaps slowing them down, and everything that I saw seemed to be a still picture, and I was seeing a succession of these ‘snapshots’. I was extremely scared at this point and just wanted to stand up. But I was stuck in my bed, and I tried to regain mental stability. I actually sat there and created a sphere with my hands as I pressed my finger tips together while repeating: “regain mental stability”. It was astonishing how much impact each one of my thoughts had on my body and the way in which I perceived reality. While I was trying to regain stability, I actually felt a huge shift in my awareness, and I started to see more clearly again. But it was a constant struggle from there on out. I was stuck between getting lost in the thought of that moment and each time I though back to it, I was pulled back toward it. The birds tweet was still repeating in my head, and the closer it got to the beginning of the tweet (as I heard it in my head- at different frequencies and speeds), the closer I got to identifying with that moment. And that moment wasn’t only parallel to the start of the tweet, but it was also parallel to the exact physical space (in the corner of my bed) and the closer I got, physically, to that dark space, the more I got sucked into the unsteadiness and intense identification with that moment. It truly was profound, in that I was able to correspond my internal reality with the physical world. I began getting really emotionally invested in every thought or action that crossed my mind, and it became apparent that I was extremely capable of recognizing my egoic patterns. Each time I recognize them (which seemed like 10 times a second) it would elicit either a positive response, or a negative response – to which my emotional body would respond accordingly (My emotions were also a part of this overall spectrum of time, space, visual perception, and speed and deepness of the repeating tweet.) A negative thought would propel me closer to that deep moment. And a positive thought would bring me out of it. It was so overlapping and intertwined that it’s hard to say exactly what actions produced good and what actions produced bad. But it seems to me now that, at that time, I was much more capable of relating my egoic patterns (physical habits) to my internal reality. And I felt like I could reconstruct my internal reality by centering myself, and making physical changes to my room. I tried hard to concentrate on my breath and find my centre. I tried to feel my Beingness and tried to dis-identify from my thoughts. I felt like this helped a lot to bring me out of that moment, and out of that trip. As I walked around my room, I felt a rapturous connection between my entire physical room, and my internal reality. And it was all related to the point of reference to the corner of my bed. Also, I felt very comforted by turning on my lamp and looking into the light. It was actually like I was experiencing my true spirit or divine self when I was giving my attention to the light. But when my attention drifted and I looked back toward my bed, I was moved (emotionally) away from the light and towards the darkness. But then when I returned my attention to the light again, it brought me back closer to the goodness and the peacefulness that I wanted to experience. Also, all the while, that same tweet was still repeating inside my head. But it was totally in reference to my emotional state, and where I was in accordance to the light and the darkness. With everything that I would do or think, I would hear this tweet in the background – and the closer my thoughts got to that moment, the sooner I would hear that part of the tweet (remembering that the beginning of the tweet represents the moment, and the rest of it is just a place along the awareness spectrum of that moment) I felt like I had something deeply personal that was available to me in that moment, but I was too scared to face it. And so I tried to shut it out completely by ignoring my Ego. That moment signifies a defining event that triggered something in me long ago, that has shaped my view of the world and of myself. It is something that is dark and it is something that I am not proud of. And I feel like that, by having accessed it, I gained a greater understanding of it. But that understanding is not something that I can put into words, it just is how it is. Instead, it was clearer to me afterwards, but more on an intuitive level. And the entire process of escaping that moment and coming back to normal reality was a chance for me to recognize the implication of the moment’s reality, and to see its effects in my egoic mind. As I thought about and did things, I felt like I had the power to change them for the better, by physically manipulating or moving them. And this manipulation is a symbol for my internal manipulation (healing). Everything that was external was perfectly synchronized with everything internal. I found that I most easily and drastically ‘caught’ myself going into egoic patterns when I was focused on something – like my phone, ipod, poster, a book. Each time I recognized my Ego, I heard that tweet in the background. And it was not really just a sound anymore; it was a “way” of seeing reality. The tweet was perfectly synchronized (in starting point, and in frequency) the frequency would get slower and deeper when I could see one thing from a more widened perspective. And it would get faster and higher when the realization was less understood and more fleeting. In other words, the tweet stood as a backdrop to my entire experience, and it would be manifested in accordance to my inner awareness. I realized that the space on my bed was the absolute “void” into my dark inner reality, and the light was my savior from it. And it took everything that I could manage to pull myself away from that darkness and toward the light. Before this, each time I would try to “do” something to get my mind off the moment, I would find myself falling into my old egoic patterns, in one way or another, such as looking for a cheery song to take my mind off it, or by searching my phone for my friend's number, because I knew that talking to him would comfort me. But each time I realized my Ego, I would hear that tweet to whatever extent my realization manifested. And then following the realization, I had the ability to change my outer reality. This is truly what I have been searching for. I had a clear link between my internal and my external. When I first realized the symbolic significance of the “light” and the “darkness”, I attempted to regain my personal power by concentrating on the light. I actually sat there, perfectly centered toward it, and felt its presence fill my body. I listened to that “7 minute” meditation thing and I felt like it was so profoundly destined to happen exactly like the way it did, and I saw everything that happened as having a purpose. The sequence of events leading up to that dark moment, and then subsequently, my efforts to bring myself out of it and find mental refuge “in the light” was just part of the greater plan, which is Life. Every song that I listened to (before and after) was perfectly in its place as I began to understand the greater Oneness of everything. As was every thought and vision. There was a moment in that “7 minute” mediation that was so profound that it made me realize the entirety and purpose of life. And that was when the woman said ( and the woman’s voice was so comforting and loving that it was a perfect way of translating the message of the spirit) “imagine that everything you need is contained in the light, and all of it is being given to you now”. This experience was incredible and those 7 minutes were the most wonderful moments. In the beginning of the sequence, it tells you to focus on various parts of your body and to reach inward to your true self, and I can’t even describe how vividly I could “feel” my head and my muscles (like my eyelids, eye nerves, ear nerves, scalp, and just my entire body. I felt the channels of my body opening and the energy from the light entering and spreading throughout my body and my whole being. In that moment, quoted above, when the light was all being given to me, I looked into the lamp: there are no words to describe the sense peace and beauty that I felt in those moments. The light was absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I could see the colours of the rainbow emanating around it and when I focused right on the dead centre of the light, I experienced an overwhelming sense of safety and peace. Simply serene. The whole divide between light and dark was still going on and I felt like I was losing myself again, and so I started to panic, which caused more panic, but then I realized this, and that gave me confidence. It was a constant fight between my Ego and my true Self. Everything that unfolded after that was seen as perfectly relevant and synchronistic. I felt like I realized my purpose in Life – and that is that I must be perfectly aligned with Life. The only way to do this is to look past the Ego entirely. When I was sitting in the park later, I became aware of the sun, and it gave me great comfort. It was like I was out of the dark of night, and nothing could bring me back there, because the sun was out. The tweet lingered in my head for a long time afterwards, and it slowly got further and further away from the start of it, and instead I was now only hearing the very end of it, and very faintly, and at a low frequency. The drugs were wearing off, and I felt like I could begin to reflect on the events that transpired without getting emotionally invested in them, as I was before. When I realized that they were wearing off, I felt extremely relieved, because at some point earlier – not too long after the moment – I was very seriously worried that I had been switched onto some new reality and that I would never be able to escape it. I remember distinctly thinking that it was possible that I might have triggered some latent mental disability, like the one when you forget everything every 10 seconds, and just repeat the same thing every day for the rest of your life. Later on, my friend helped me to come out of it because he grounded the energy in the air. His presence helped to centre me.
