"Psychedelic Winter" C&C please!

[>Marquis<]

With each step further
And further from a past shadowed
By strange years.

Opposite egos in December's
Cold withered nothing
Open like flowers.

Dead of night and mundane earth
Glow eerie in the otherworld's
Mystic luminescence.

With each step closer
And closer to a future lit by
This holy experience.

---------------------

It's basically about how myself and a friend who I hadn't seen in years went up into the mountains a few times tripping and became very close in the process. I like it.

 

[(Wordy)]

I like it too... but I think without your explanatory note, the meaning and feeling behind it is a little obscure. Maybe you could try to build some specific personal events and experiences into it? Memories that stick out... unique details of your trips into the mountains, and of the unique people that you are?

 

[Psychubus]

:D flows well. I DIG IT!

 

[>Marquis<]

I like it too... but I think without your explanatory note, the meaning and feeling behind it is a little obscure. Maybe you could try to build some specific personal events and experiences into it? Memories that stick out... unique details of your trips into the mountains, and of the unique people that you are?

:D

You're right about it needing the note at the end lol! I could have gotten all descriptive on its ass but I write prose on the same topic so I was happy to be vague. It'd be cool to have a book of short stories about our experiences and have this as an intro.

 

[>Marquis<]

:D flows well. I DIG IT!

Best C&C ever lol!

 

[(Wordy)]

I could have gotten all descriptive on its ass but I write prose on the same topic so I was happy to be vague. It'd be cool to have a book of short stories about our experiences and have this as an intro.

Yeah cool! I'm sure this would work really well as an intro...